My DS1 is 4 in a few days, he is an absolutely gorgeous boy. We love him to death. His good points are: everyone loves him, he's a real charmer and knows how to make you feel very special (he is physically very affectionate and would give hugs and kisses even if he is meeting you for the first time), he is really willing to try stuff (he will be first up on stage and is not afraid of anything! Even snakes...) and he is very sensitive (we try not to show him any Ice Age trailers, he cries when that 'squirrel' gets hurt). But boy, he can be a right pain and we don't know how we can deal with him without shouting, or threats so if anyone has a similar child, help!
He has to touch everything and cannot sit still, he drives us mad. It's like he has ZERO impulse control. Give him a piece of paper, he will tear it up and then wants another one. He is constantly on the move and will not sit still. If we walk past a wall, he will have to run his fingers/palm on it. If there's a puddle, he will jump in it. If there's sand, he will not only play in it but he will roll in it and bury himself in it. If there are buttons, he will press it and press it and press them till they damn well break. He will knock drinks over, constantly. He has a very short attention span. He's the sort of boy that will fall off the escalator because he cannot stand still on the bloody step. He will not stand still to get his pyjamas on. He constantly asks questions, he talks all day. It's mummy this and mummy that a billion times a day, he can hardly play by himself. God, I feel tired just typing all that!
That is all fine. I think a lot of it is down to personality. He is very spirited, has been since birth (cried nonstop for the first 6 months, I almost went mad!). But there are certain things he does that makes us (me and DH) see red and we just can't see an effective way to deal with it. For example, no matter how much we tell him NOT to do something, he will go ahead and do it. The bath is a constant battle, we tell him not to splash too much in the bath (if we left him to it, the whole bathroom will be soaking wet!). He will do so upsetting his brother (who is 2.3) and tonight, he made his Dad so angry as he spat a mouthful of water onto DH's trousers. He constantly winds his brother up. For example, if they are both in their car seats, he will have one hand on his brother's seatbelt and DS2 will get upset and he will just keep on doing it till DS2 is screaming and I'm screaming at him to stop. :( We went through a park today and it is wet, he got himself soaking wet scootering straight into puddles and all despite us telling him not to.
We use the naughty step with him and it works. We can discipline him and he is sorry afterwards. He was upset today after DH got mad about getting wet and his first question was 'Am I still a good boy?' The battle is to stop him doing it the next time. I feel like my whole life is one long battle trying to get him to stop doing something. I've tried to be less negative and also tried to pick my battles but it is so hard at times. When he behaves, we have really nice days. He can be a very kind boy and also very loving, he constantly tells me all day how much he loves me. DS2 is a different kettle of fish altogether... I'm not sure what I am asking, just if anyone has a child like that and found a particular parenting method that works well. I am sick of me telling him how naughty he is and making threats. I know it's not working particularly well! I want to be a better parent! I was hoping that once he turned 4, things might get better but had a BAD day today... Help! And 
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