how start putting a 13 month old to bed..

[lilmamma]

My garandson is 13 months and lives with us and his mum,the thing is he has never had a proper bedtime,and i had words with my daughter last night,and decided its time to get him in some sort of routine .How would we start,i suggested getting him to sleep and then putting him in the cot ? or would it be better to put him in it awake and go from there ? any suggestions will be gratefully appreciated thanks :)

oops meant grandson.:)

we have standard routine - cbeebies bed time hour - then bath - then stories - then goes to cot awake - has a cuddley -that all helps -
no cry sleep solution is a good book about sleep and routines

I'm assuming that your grandson does sleep and while the rhythym he is in may not suit you it's probably the best starting point for a routine if you want to get him in one.

I'm not a massive fan of enforced routines as I think kids fall into their own if allowed the freedom to do so but there is no harm in introducing cues to help them relax before bed time.

Our DD is also 13 months and we do the same thing everynight, we kind of just fell in to it because we noticed she was getting sleepy around the same time everynight.

After tea we do some active play for at least half an hour, this is usually messing about on the floor, bouncing around on her zebra or the sofa then about 6.45 we either put disney junior on for half hour to sit watch and wind down or we read a couple of books, then we go up for a bath, after this we guive her a bottle.

She usually falls asleep getting a cuddle after her bottle. I put her straight down in her bed as soon as she's asleep.

I'm a bit at the tone of your post though, as 'having words' sounds like you are criticising his mums parenting, you may have a valid reason for doing so but you might want to tread carefully because ultimately she is his mother. Just my opinion

I thunk you and your daughter have to agree on the same routine, and find one that works with your grandsons natural tired time. Lots of babies this age seem to get overstimulated when tired and need quiet time before bed, so the usual supper teeth brushing, bath, stories and cuddles, then having a night time song or special book that is read in the bedroom where he sleeps, followed by saying goodnight and a kiss seems to be popular. But you need to be of one accord and stick with the same time and the same routine I think, and be patient - expect it to take a few weeks. If he still won't go down,try moving naps or an earlier bedtime. Or a layer one. We don't let DS (14 mo) sleep after 4pm and he generally has one lunchtime nap now. We also make sure he has lots of romping in the day, followed by quiet time from five, often a walk, then a starchy supper/snack, wash, stories, goodnight to the toys, milk and a mellow Nick Drake album playing while he has his milk, then DH and I tell him we love him, kisses and put him in his cot by 7.15, which seems to be his natural dropping off time.

Our routine for our 15 mo is the same pretty much every night though will vary by 30 mins or so depending on how tired he is. If he's had a full day at the CM he's usually very tired by 6.30 and needs to be in bed by just after 7. Otherwise he sleeps 7.30/ 8 till 7.30/8.

Cbeebies bedtime hour and cuddles on the sofa, bath (unless very tired because bathing him when he's in that mood leads to tantrums), bedtime story and milk, bed with a cuddly toy and he's usually asleep within 5 to 10 mins.

Having said all of that he's had a bedtime 'routine' since only a couple of months old so it was easy to instill (though we've been led by him with his natural tired time and in the early weeks his bedtime changed daily depending on feeds etc). You may struggle more with an older child, but essentially an hour or so to wind down from the day before bed, however you choose to do it, will benefit your grandson.

smoggii i was not criticising my daughter at all,we are very close and she is a brilliant mum,but we both agreed its time he started some sort of bed time routine,he does not sit still at all from when he wakes till he falls asleep.there are a lot of good ideas on here and thankyou,the only time he sits down,is when he is in his highchair for his meals.

she is in college and does one late night,till 9pm,so i thought it would be nice to get him asleep,so she can relax when she gets in,and also she is off to paris with the college for 4 days,so again,to get him asleep would be a great help to me,as i also work,and its tiring,when he is on the go all day.

we have decided to give this a go starting tomorrow,he usually has a nap in the afternoon,and then keeps going,like tonight i got him to sleep at 10pm,which i think is a bit late,as you have no free time to yourself.

Ten is too late really. If you do the same thing every day and watch like a hawk for tired signs like pulling ears, laughing manically, rubbing eyes and then start thinking of a bedtime that is ten mins before he does all that? Most babies this age seem to have a natural sleepy time between 6-7.30 and if you do a run-up of at least an hour of quiet time before hand, (quiet stories, cuddling, low lights, bath, teeth brushing, eat something like a bowl of cereal or a jacket potato at Sixish, nothing stimulating, and finish off in the bedroom with the same story or song, plus a favourite cuddly toy or cloth to snuggle with, and just be very patient, but firm- 'sleepy time now, let's say goodnight and go to bed' etc it should start to have an effect. You can get more ideas from the sleep forum. Good luck.

thanks napdamnyou,love the name btw haha,we wrapped him up and took him to the park today,he loved the swings and then let him walk down the long path,he fell asleep about 3,so she isgoing to bath him about 7 as usual,but then take him into her room,he shares a room with his mum,and read him a story and take it from there,thanks again.