Strange rituals - discourage or ignore?

[SorenLorensen]

Ds2 (just 4) has this odd little ritual at bedtime. I (or dh) reads him a story, then we sing Twinkle Twinkle, then he settles himself and goes to sleep. No, that's not the odd part! He has a drinking bottle of water by his bed and he has to have a little drink before we sing Twinkle Twinkle, and a little drink after we've sung it. This routine cannot be deviated from.
Last night he forgot his little 'before' drink and so he wanted to "start all over again". I was tired and grumpy and I said no, it was silly. Cue utter screaming hab-dabs for about 10 minutes ("it's silly, ds2" "it's not silly to me!") after which I had to concede defeat because he was just about as upset as I've ever seen him - terror as opposed to tantrum.
He had his drink, I sang it again, he had another drink - all was calm, he went to sleep.
So, is this the tip of an OCD iceberg or should I just let him have his little ritual and go along with it? I say "should I let" - doesn't seem I can stop him.
Any thoughts most welcome.
Btw, he has other little idiosyncrasies - like wearing socks in bed (even in summer) but is otherwise pretty straight down the line typical 4 year old.

I think this is probably normal 4 yr old behaviour, I don't mean every 4 yr old does it, I just mean that I seriously doubt it has ANYTHING to dow ith ocd and more about being a little person in a big world and sometimes wanting to control little bits of their world. I wouldn't worry about it. If I were you I would make sure he gets to do it the way he wants but without a big fuss and he will probably forget about it in time

i wouldnt worry about it just yet! my Ds (now 13) had loads of rituals that had to be done a certain way, his quilt had to be a certain way round and totally flat with no folds or bumps. he had a paticular routine before settling down. i think we spend so much energy getting them into a routine, that they really need it. my Dd is going the same way, shes 20 months, she has to have her wind down time exactly the same every night. just the way some kids are i think.

I think this is adorable! Maybe OCD tendancies, but not OCD!!! Sorry you had to go through this, but I can understand. I imagine you have to tell him that you are going somewhere in advance and give him some time to finish an activity he is involved with? All kids are different--mine were, he seems so sensitive. Hopefull you can get him to be a bit more flexable as he "ages". Good luck SL!

I have OCD, and this doesn't ring bells for me. Some young children just like routine, and they can feel more secure when their routine is followed.

My dd 2.10 had a tantrum in a shop by us because I wouldn't buy her a kinder egg, every time we go in this particular shop she does it again - goes on and on - I say no and she sits on the floor and won't get up - its always the same shop - but the weird thing is she doesnt do it anywhere else - we go in plenty of other shops and she sees them, asks, I say no and she accepts it - she doesnt have tantrum any other time when I say no - but in this one shop she goes beserk.Weird.
Don't ask me why, I have no idea but it something she clearly has to do at this certain shop!!

DS2 (4.5) has lots of similar type rituals that run a course and are replaced. Depending on how tired he is, he might have a screaming fit about a bedtime ritual.

I think it's probably fairly common among children of this age.

DS1 for ages would lose it completely if he wasn't allowed to press the buttons on the microwave for heating his evening milk.

Seems normal to me,my ds loves routine and as mentioned earlier, children like to think they have some control in an adults world.

I'd say it's normal - ds1 (4.5) is very rigid about the order things are done during his bedtime routine. It's part of what makes him feel secure I think.

I am greatly reassured by these posts - thanks muchly I will just go along with the weird rituals so long as it doesn't involve sacrificing lambs or rolling one trouser leg up and funny handshakes.

Children are quite often comforted by the little ritual that means to them everything is hunky dory in their little world.I can remember my boy used to like this book called jimbo the jet and if it wasnt about or if granny sat and forgot we used to have all hell on.
Then one day he simply said dont want the jimbo book its for babies!
He is almost 12 now but I still know it word for word.I wouldnt worry about it at all.

completely normal. At 3 ds1 had 101 rituals any deviation would result in screaming now aged 10 we have no screaming and no rituals so you have something to look forward to.

Sorry to resurrect such an old thread, but I'm doing a piece on OCD v OCD-type behaviour in kids and it would be good to speak to some of you about these little "rituals". I want to make the point that rituals can be very much part and parcel of childhood and are not necessarily indicators of a bigger problem. Anyhow, here's my official thread. Would be good to hear from a few of you. Thanks! Abby

PS: you don't have to be named in the actual piece.

abby - your link doesn't work.

How rubbish am I? try this

I can't get the link to work either.

Both my children had/have little rituals, I've always regarded it as perfectly normal. After all, I have little rituals of my own, as do quite a lot of adults really if you think about!

oops, posts crossed, it's working now!

Recently my daughter has been having some issues like restricting food, not wanting to watch TV not wanting to go out but ok at school. We have spoken to Phycologist and they think Autism and moderate to high level of anxiety. She has started to have bed time routine which involves specific bed time OCD behavior and now she has started sitting up in bed and performing what looks like a drumming motion and making a very strange noise ( like hard to know if laughing or crying) and shaking her head. She could do this for 30 mins. It's very distressing to withness and I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas what this is.