cosleeping- are you doing it and how safe is it?

[mumnosbest]

Im BF my 2 wk ol dd.i dont smoke, drink (at the mo) or take drugs.nor does dh.dd settles well in her cot untill 4am ish. After that she only sleeps well if shes in bed with mw.do i wake to feed her every hr from then or feed her in bed with me and cosleep but get a good rest? Is it really so bad? Even a mw at hospital said it can be ok but with dcs 1+2 it was really frowned upon.

i co-slept with my 2nd and 3rd babies.
neither of them died, that's all i can say!

personally i think you are more at risk if you go and sit in a chair with them and then fall asleep than if you co-sleep safely in your own bed.

i am slightly tipsy right now but ifi wasn't i'd find some links about that,

I co sleep with my 2 always have they are both fine. Think it's much better to safely co sleep than stumble around half asleep and risk falling asleep in a chair or sofa. I never planned to as such but my ds1 would not sleep so him in with me was the only way either of us got any rest. I breast fed too and it was so much easier with them
In with me. There is some info on the NHS website and in my experience co sleeping is pretty common.

Thanks this was my thinking 2. Also a bit worried about breaking the habbit n getting her in her own bed later on. Ds was my 1st and slept on his own. Dd1 used to fall asleep on me and i really struggled till about 4 yrs to get her to stay in her bed. Do you think i'm making a rod for my back by cosleeping?

Hard to get proper info about safety as what the research counts as cosleeping varies a lot. My understanding is the cosleeping following WHO guidelines very marginally increases the risk of SIDS according to some research, but you need to weigh that up against e.g. the risk of having an accident or accidently falling asleep with them on a sofa due to sleep deprivation. Plenty of people obviously cosleep without anything happening.

In terms of habit-forming, you can break any habit if you don't mind crying.... Some babies go perfectly fine from cosleeping sleeping independently, others don't and the parents get desperate enough to do some form of sleep training.

I guess i'll deal with moving her 2 her own bed when we're ready. I was more worried about SIDS.

I coslept with DD2 until she was about 10 weeks, when I transferred her to the cot in her room, and slept in there myself till she was 6mo. I placed her in the middle of the king sized bed, lay whichever side of her with the duvet over me and onto the floor. I didnt drink, smoke, drugs etc. My GP asked me if I was aware of the risks and left it at that. It was the only way to keep my sanity, with a newborn feeding every two hours or so, and a 3yo to entertain during the day.

All the info i've read say risks are increased if u r a smoker, been drinking, taken drugs or v.tired. I am non of the above (except tired) so is there still an increased risk. More than sleeping in her cot?

When I read the risks, SIDS was reduced by proper co-sleeping. Some studies include suffocation in with SIDS, or include parents who are drug/alcohol users.

Firstly remember that cosleeping is normal, it's what the vast majority of the human population have done throughout history, and continue to do so today.

Like you, we were very concerned about cosleeping because we didn't know much about it. For the first year, we placed a cotbed alongside our own bed, with one side removed, so it made a large sleeping area. DD slept right next to me in the cot and I was on the bed. When she was one year old she started wriggling into bed with me so we got rid of the cot bed and she started sleeping between us, instead of me in the middle.

We are still cosleeping, she has just turned two. However, she is happy to sleep by herself if we're away from home, but will wake for a cuddle and come into our bed or I go and snuggle with her.

Guidelines for safe cosleeping are of course, no drugs/alcohol. Keep yourself between baby and anyone else. Ensure sheets are tucked in tightly. One tip I had was to tuck the duvet under the foot of the mattress so you can't pull it up during the night. I also placed DD's head higher up the bed than my own so I wouldn't pull covers over her during my sleep. Blankets may be a better option than duvet with a very small baby.

I really don't believe that cosleeping makes a rod for anyone's back. I have heard anecdotally of children who want to cosleep at 7 and children who happily move into their own room at 18 months, so I guess it's down to individual children. I do know that we have never had tears at bedtime and that when DD started walking she would happily head off for bed. Cosleeping has definitely worked for us and I am so glad I found out about it when DD was a couple of weeks old.

I coslept with both DD's. Loved it. DD2 has now moved into a cot as she is 'mobile' - she hates it. She gets in with me when I go to bed :) and can pretty much BF without waking me if she needs to.

I was tired too, but realised that ( for me, anyway) there was some sort of instinct that meant I always slept in the same position. Also, I was probably safer doing this than getting less sleep and having to care for 2 children, or falling asleep sitting up feeding.

This web site is pro cosleeping but does have links to research which may help put your mind at rest if you do want to cosleep.

Agree with thisisyesterday. I didn't start co-sleeping with DS till 4 months and before that I nearly dropped him so many times when I was nodding off during feeds in a chair.

I was much safer in the day e.g. driving after we started co-sleeping as we were less exhausted.

I co-slept without any problem. But I did not take any drugs and did not drink at all during that time. Also, DH slept in guest room so he got more rest and we more space. We did have a bed guard on one side and the foot end of the bed. Also, no soft pillows and only cotton sheet and cotton blanket to prevent overheating. DD kept me warm! We definitely both slept a lot better and she drunk much better. We always made sure she had a lovely bedroom and she enjoyed playing in her bedroom. When a little older she simply wanted to sleep in her own room although now and then still came to our bed. We left the choice to her and unless she was ill she always chose her own bed.

I co-slept with DS (9 months) and still do occasionally most nights when he's upset in his cot. I know it's really scary because they're so little and vulnerable, but as a mother I found I just had some kind of super awareness to him. Any sound or movement he'd make (even if it was just sighing or something) would wake me up. I never felt like I was going to roll over onto him or anything (if anything I'd go to sleep and wake up in the EXACT same position hours later... cue lots of cramp!).

I'd recommend getting either a cot that you can put against your bed (at the same level, no gap) or getting a barrier, so you can put DC between yourself and the barrier. Once they get a bit older (3 months or so) they're much more sturdy and robust so you can relax a bit. I'd say do it, apart from the occasional night where I wish I had my bed back to myself and DH, co-sleeping is absolutely lovely.

Lovely to hear so many positive experiences thanks. Feel happier to carry on now. I definately agree with the comment about instincts. I always sleep facing her and between her n dh. When she feeds on DHs side i dont fall asleep.

DS - coslept until 3 months then gradually got him into his cot.

DD is 11 weeks and cosleeping again. I don't know when I'll move her as she is incredibly unsettled.

I tuck the duvet down to waist level and it only covers my side. It's a 4 tog light duvet. I also have foam bed guards so she doesnt fall out when she starts rolling.

I had a moses basket by our bed at that age and would just pick up dd and feed when needed and put back - in theory, in practice I would fall asleep with her feeding on top of me, or side of me... she seems to have turned out fine and is now happy 1yr old sleeping in her own room / own cot though when she wakes at 6am invariably I pop in our bed, sometimes we all get a bit of 'lie in' other times one or other snoozes and she just bounces around or plays with book or something. Don't worry too much about it I'd say.

it's the covers and inability for a new born to kick off covers etc if they are too hot I believe is what is a high risk.. we always made sure our dd was on top of our duvet.

Another co-sleeper here. Have done since DS was newborn and he's 18 months now. It was the best solution for us and meant night feeds were much less of a faff. Also really helped establish BFing in the beginning. We all get much better sleep that way. I second those who have said mothers instinctively know how to curl around their babies. And it is worth remembering that this is the way most of the rest of the world sleep with their babies, as someone else mentioned. Plus, it's so lovely to snuggle up together while they're small enough to want it!

So true ladyrabbit. We didnt always have cots. Im sold and am currently snugggled up with dd :)

I'd sleep better if LO would sleep in her bassinet but she rarely will. Last night I even warmed it prior to putting her in so the shock of a cold mattress wouldn't wake her. She still only slept there for half hour. She was in bed with me for the rest of the night. I co-slept with eldest DD too as she wouldn't ever settle in her basket. DD is happiest asleep on my chest but I can't sleep on my back so sleep with her in the nook of my arm. My arm falls asleep and I only doze. Hope others are getting more sleep than we are!

co-slept with all 5 of mine, we gave up on a cot and got rid of it when ds2 was 8wks ol so never even had one for the last three. dd is 14mths and still co-sleeps, we have a futon so its low to the floor so no worries re her falling out and have a toddler bed next to it which she will go in in the next few months for the first part of the night and i imagine she will do as her brothers did and crawl in with us at some point in the night!

co-sleeping is perfectl fine as long as you do it safely, ie are careful with covers, pillows, no drugs etc. mine all grew out of it between 2-3yrs and sleep fine in their own beds in their own rooms. i wouldnt do it any other way :)

At 2 weeks old, you cant be making a rod for your own back. I'd say go with your instincts - feed on demand, lots of skin to skin and safely co sleep.

I didn't intend to cosleep and it just happened ad hoc really and wasn't and isn't every night now (dd is 6 months).

I read up on safety and how common it actually is. Some countries like Japan don't even know about SIDS because they have such low rates, and they are big on co- sleeping.

Also co-sleeping as a phrase doesn't just refer to sleeping in your bed, but means many different forms (in bed, z bed, cot/Moses basket at side of your bed etc)

Similar to others, I have cot at side of bed with side down. Prior to that dd was in moses basket and would come in our bed for a feed (breastfed) and if we fell asleep together then so be it.

I always made a habit of putting her in her cot to sleep at begininng of night and talked to her during the night if she woke after feeds and wasn't settling; if she didn't settle or started to cry, I'd get her out and have her in our bed. If she dropped off before me I'd put her back.

Dd self settled from 3 months and i think it's a combination of being lucky, being relaxed about the fact that babies feed and sleep on a continuous cycle, getting her used to cot/moses basket whilst awake, and also having noisy day time and quiet night time. She doesn't sleep through (had no expectation of that) but she can and does get to sleep on her own OR with me or dp there. She loves her own cot/space but also loves snuggles too so it works both ways, especially when teething starts and she's feeding more (she's in my bed more).

I think you just find something that works for you. Hope my story helps