DD's strange reaction to phone call - what does it all mean???

[resistanceisfutile]

My 4 yo DD is staying at my sister's house for a few days as it's half term and DH and I are in work.

I rang my sis tonight and she asked DD if she wanted to speak to me.

DD said "no" and burst into tears and ran upstairs!!!

My sis was laughing about the overreaction and joked she was going to call social services. But later on she went to ask DD again this time if she wanted to say goodnight to me or DH and again she said no :(

I'm just wondering why she reacted this way? TBH I'm a bit upset and worried by it :(

To hazard a guess...she wants to spend half-term with you and is miffed at having been sent away?

I'm on holiday in the uk this week while dh is at home. My 5yr old ds often doesn't want to speak to dh while we're here. I think it's a coping strategy - if he can't be with him it's easier to cope with if there is no contact at all.

I really wouldn't be upset or worried and look forward to the massive cuddles when you pick her up.

She misses you.

YEs, she's missing you, and either doesn't want to speak to you because she's angry or doesn't want to hear your voice as she'll get upset. Sorry. It's usually at bedtime that children will miss their parents most if they are away from them. I bet she is absolutely fine during the day.

when babies are in nursery they are often quite happy, but when their mum/dad comes to pick them up they often burst into tears. It's rather like they suddenly remember that despite all of the fun and bustle, how much they have missed their parents.

I wonder if your daughter's reaction is along the same lines?

She was really looking forward to going to my sisters, I'm mean sooooo excited. She loves it there as she has 3 cousins to play with, they have a really good time and she has a sleepover with a 'midnight' feast (at 8pm!!). It's all so much better than being at home with me or DH all week.

I was more worried about the opposite really - that she was having a fabulous time and didn't want to come home tomorrow! Which makes me sad obviously :(

I'd say it's the missing you thing.
My niece was away from her mum last Christmas as her mum was in hospital and couldn't travel but wanted my broher and my niece to enjoy CHristmas with family as planned. She was just over 3 and did not want to speak to her mum on the 'phone while away (which really upset her mum). It really seemed like she was coping ok as long as she didn't have to think about it too much.

I am sure your DD will be delighted to see you tomorrow, don't worry!

I appreciate she is probably missing me though. Is it normal to refuse to talk to me? I would have thought a phone call would make her feel better not worse :(

Ok thanks for your experiences, that helps :)
I suppose it's possible to have a great time with your cousins and miss your mum loads, both at the same time.

I think its normal. I dont think that children think about phone conversations in the same way that adults do, I thin its often a bit boring for them. My children sometimes refuse to speak to people on the phone, and it has no bearing on how much they like the person.

4yo DNephew comes to stay with DP and I regularly - think animals,clasdic cars and non stop treats and attention (6yo dniece has sn).

He barely acknowledges that he's away while he's here, good as gold, etc. Gets home and won't leave Mummy or Big Sis's sides for days.

It's the same if we ring SIL when he's around, he's not interested. We show up to visit and it's all cuddles and "Aunty Pidjie, will you build a..." (I'm the family lego expert)

phones are a bit freaky if you are 4 anyway if you think about it

I couldn't get a phone conversation out of my 2 much before 6yo anyway

Haha, workshy, that reminds me - a few months ago dn went through a phase of showing us toys down the phone. Not quite sure he understands the whole concept quite yet

I am away with my 4 yr old dt's too- at gp's with dsis and cousins near. My two are missing their dad- but also having a great time. I tried to get them to ring so they could speak to him but they didn't want to. I didn't think anything of it really. I think the phone just doesn't do it for them. Its not their dad, they can't see him, they don't know what to say, so they didn't get why they would need to. They did spend all afternoon making him pictures though. So I guess I am trying to say- don't worry about it!

Neither of mine (8 and 6) are keen on the phone - could imagine them in a similar situation refusing to talk to me on the phone.

LOL @ showing toys down the phone

She's not freaked out by phones at all usually, anything that involves endless wittering to a captive audience is a winner with DD.

I've got to say her reaction surprised me, as it was so emotional. I can understand if she just didn't want to talk because she was busy playing or something but she was obviously upset.

I'd say being reminded you're not there is hard for her to deal with, but when she's not reminded about it she's having a fab time. Wee kids can't rationalise in the same way as us.