What can your 3.3 year old do??

[rattie77]

My DS is 3.3 and I thought he was generally quite bright and coming along fine but I am beginning to think he should be more independent. My DH collected him from nursery last night and he commented on another little bou same age who happily put his own shoes on and coat very easily. I can't see my LO doing this unless coaxed, wouldn't even enter his head. He goes to the toilet himself etc, but I still have to wash his hands/face/teeth - I do try to get him to do them himself but he doesn't really put much effort in, though I know he won't do them perfect and I still encourage. I dress him each day again trying to encourage independence, but he is not interested. He will help out around the home and I give him little jobs to do etc. I think part of the problem is that as we don't have to be out early in the morning, there is no sense of urgency - when my other children were little it was manic getting them all out to school on time. Anyway just wandering what others of his age can do?
He also doesn't really play alone, likes me there all the time and has limited attention span with drawing, jigsaws etc (may be a boy thing as my other DSs were similar but daughter loved them?).

I also have a 3.3yr old DS!

He can take off his own shoes and take off a jumper. He can do zips. He can go to the toilet on his own, but I have to wash his hands. I have to wash his face, brush his teeth etc as he doesnt' like doing that.

He won't play alone either most of the time, wants us to play with him a lot. He has limited attention span for drawing, but will do puzzles for quite a while, he would finish quite a few puzzles before he wants to do something else. He likes being read to and will do this for as long as you are willing to do it.

He does like helping out sometimes with little jobs, but gets bored easily.

My 3year and 11 month year old can:

• Feed herself
• Get dressed reasonably well
• Put shoes on and off
• Write her name
• Count to 20
• Knows her ABC - letter sounds and letter names
• Draw things like people, animals etc
• Likes to play role play type games - dressing up, mummy's and Daddy's etc.
• Likes puzzles and playing games like snap, and the shopping list game
• Wash her face
• Hangs up her coat
• Picks her name from a pile of other names - in the morning at nursery
• Can identify rhyming words
• Can tell the difference between words beginning with the same letter and those that rhyme.

My ds is 3.5 now. Unlike dn who is a few months older but the most independent boy ever, ds has only recently uttered the phrase 'No, I do it!' and rarely at any useful point.

He can put his own pants on, and we have a rule that pants must be worn for breakfast, (or telly, or anything fun...) which gets them on. He hates putting clothes on, though could get sandals on and off in the summer but can't get shoes on. He will brush teeth with coaxing, reminding that all dinosaurs have shiny white brushed teeth, and reminder of no story until either he brushes them or I brush them. We're working on getting him to actually wash hands and wipe bottom (he claimed he never has to at nursery. Nursery disagreed!)

He loves puzzles and will play alone with farm/dinosaurs/trains/etc forever - which is great until you need him to get ready to go out...

But what could she do at 3.3 ?

Mine can make spagehtti bolognese apparantly! I hope she can anyway, cos she invited my friend over, said she would cook it and i sure as hell cant!

DS is 3.5, so a little older. At 3.32 he was very much like your DS. In the last couple of months he has started to brush his teeth, get himself dressed, put his coat on and put his shoes on/off. He plays a little by himself, but much prefers company. I wouldn't worry about your DS, these skills will come in their own time, and probably all at once!

At 3.3 she had been at nursery for a year so had learnt

• to change her shoes
• Pull up her trousers and knicker, skirt ect - when she went to the toilet
• Could use the toilet and flush it herself

-Hang up her coat

• Puzzles for 3+
• Wipe her face
• Pick out her name
• Learnt the ABC song
• Make conservation e.g. say good morning etc to nursery staff.
• feed herself

-Drink out of a cup - rather than a beaker.

That sounds about right for many 3.11 yr olds but at this stage six months age difference is quite big so wouldn't necessarily expect a 3.3 yr old to do all that.

Perhaps Pick a couple if thing to focus on getting him to do by himself rather than suddenly trying to achieve total independance. I'm of the as long as they can do it by reception then no worries school of thought.

my 3.1 year old can
a) drive me mad
b) wind me round her little finger
c) ask the most random questions for e.g. "why don't boats have legs?" luckily she has a big brother who can be trusted to give a decent answer "because they have wheels"

My 3.3 year old DD sounds pretty similar to your DS. She still needs help to go to the toilet (she has had a few accidents with her skirt getting in the way), and while she can wash her hands, she wouldn't without supervision. Same with teeth brushing. I still wipe her bottom (although I am a sap, I think her dad tells her to do it herself).

She can get her feet in her shoes, but not necessarily the right way round. At the moment she doesn't put any of her clothes on, but she can take most of them off for the bath. Not sure about a jumper though!

She will play with puzzles or draw by herself for a while, although she much prefers telling me what to do (I work and her dad is SAHD, so I'm more of a novelty). She won't really play on her own for more than 10 minutes.

On the other hand she understands how to play a board game, can count things reasonably well and is scarily good at working the computer.

I forgot the deep philosophical questions like "Where did my two go" (on turning three) and "What is Monday?".

my oldest dd at 3.3 could get dressed alone, clean her teeth if someone put the tooth paste on for her, wash her face to an adequate level, toilet independently, pick out her name, find her peg, put on her coat and shoes and do them up, play by herself for reasonable amount of time (certainly long enough for me to cook tea) enjoyed drawings, puzzles and reading both by herself and with me (also could work the sky remote and the dvd player)

DD2 came along when she was 2.2 and she started pre school nursery the week after her third birthday so I think it made her more self reliant

dd2 was less independant but could do all of the above by 3.6

Just to take the thread off track a bit- I'm sure I read somewhere that children are not supposed to brush their own teeth until they are something crazy like 7.
So I wouldn't worry about independence teeth wise.

My dd is 2.9 but nowhere near able to dress herself. She can pull leggings/pants/socks off but nothing on top. Will be interesting to see how much progress she makes in 6 months or so

My dd is 3.3. She can go to the toilet independently - gets her step stool and toilet seat insert etc but doesn't always manage perfectly.

She can wash her hands BUT CANNOT be relied upon to turn off the tap and leave the bathroom - she would stay in there playing with water all day.

She can put her shoes on properly about 90% of the time. She can take off her clothes and put bottoms on but no other clothes.

She plays really well on her own and has better attention span than my 5 year old ( I think attention span has a lot to do with personality)

She loves jigsaws and colouring but not so keen on blocks/building etc.

She can play long complicated games with dd1.

I think not being the oldest helps her to more independent and she is more clued in on how to play than dd1 was.

HTH

my ds is 3.3 and he can take off his clothes and shoes but can only put pants, socks and trousers on.
He likes company when on the toilet so someone generally takes him and he can't wipe his own bum.
He can count up to 10 sometimes 20 but a bit hit and miss. He recognises letters a and p and can tell you words that start with p.
He can feed himself but will often want to be fed. When we go out he always holds hands.
He can't pedal his bike forwards. Generally the only input he wants into his games is mummy watch this.
He is amazingly talented at not listening, not doing as he is told and driving me up the wall.

My 3 yr 10 month old can:

Count to 100 and read numbers to 100
Add and subtract numbers between 0 - 10
Read and recite alphabet in phonics and normal
Read and write her name
Learning to read with phonics
Get dressed and undressed including shoes (not laces)
Jump/hop/skip/run
Make friends and have friend relationships
Colour/paint/draw/stick/sew
Go toilet on own
Wash hands and face
Brush teeth
Tell the time in o'clock and half times
Colours/shapes
Puzzles
Use touchpad on laptop
Use my iPhone
Role play
Retell day events
Tells lies
Manipulative (knows how to wrap me round her finger)
Use fork and spoon. Learning to use knife

Is this the kinda thing you mean op?
God I love a stealth boast on mn

My dd was much more independent at 3.3 than my ds was, of course ds was the first child and dd had an older bro to learn from and want to keep up with..the thing is there are soooooooo many things on tildaandarchiesmummys list(only as an example I'm using the list) which your child would be quite capable of if interested.. my ds wasn't too interested in as much independence at that age as my dd was at same age..If yr littlun is reaching milestones then don't worry too much, every kid is different and with your encouragement he'll do all those things when he's ready..my dd is now 5 years old and quite capable of wiping her own bum, she just doesn't want to do it, although she proudly informs me that she will do it when she turns 6..until then I will keep trying various tactics to try and get her doing it herself...watching that space with interest..lmao :o

LOL @ Witchwithallthetrimmings....such a common talent amongst kids those ones you mention..:o

Loving some of the replies - chuckling in recognition!. Feel quite daunted by some of the other replies - he seems a long way off some of these skills. He is great at some stuff e.g. knows most of the alphabet and letter sounds, knows his name, hangs coat on right peg at nursery, goes toilet alone, feeds self, loves books, but I think I compare him to others too much re:little boy in nursery. The boy in nursery does have older siblings which may influence, but I also compare him to my GD who is 9 weeks younger than him. She is so calm, does puzzles for ages independently, always wants to read and is so "easy" in comparison to my gorgeous little boy. He has gone to nursery since he was 3 months old so don't think there are any major issues, they haven't said anyway. It just got me thinking. Do you all tell your lOs to do it themselves e.g; get dressed, put shoes on?

my dd is 3.1 and seems fairly close to what most of your kids can do

• she can take clothes off (coat, usually thrown on floor), but often asks for help
• can pull up pants/trousers after using loo
• can pick own shoes from box at nursery and have a stab at putting them on
• can get seat and step for loo, and wipe bum
• good at washing hands, but like someone up above would happily mess around there all day (she also recently told a guest off for using the wrong hand towel - if you came to my house you would realise how hilarious this is)

- can feed self (although this skill rapidly deserts her unless it is cake/jelly/ice cream)

• can drink out a a cup without spilling
• can pour well from one receptacle to another (see above on water play)
• can count up to about 16, but only if you don't ask her to
• knows some letters but resists writing them (she has a cousin who has been able to do all letters since 2...)
• drawing is mostly scribbles, although she does describe what they are ('that's the smelly troll, mummy', 'so it is, darling, so it is' )
• concentration ok some of the time, but quickly bores of things she doesn't like or finds hard ('i'm finished now')
• pretty good at puzzles - but goes long stretches without any interest in them whatsoever
• makes quite elaborate constructions out of duplo

- can turn telly on

• knows how to crack an egg and mix a cake (see above, all courtesy of 'i can cook')
• can throw and kick a ball
• can scoot, but is actually scared of her scooter
• can clean teeth, but will usually only do it with threats and menaces
• has excellent negotiating skills
• is brilliant at precisely the right level of ignoring me to drive me demented
• does a fabulous line in completely OTT reactions to perfectly normal requests/reprimands

my ds1 is just over 3 and a half he still wont dress himself either, he can if you really really persuade him but it will take forever and normally he ends up saying i cant do it, i need you to help etc. same with even just putting his own shoes on & coat. playing alone & puzzles he will do though but he is quite "into" puzzles. if its just that yours wont get dressed by himself & doesnt like puzzles i would think its just his personality really? it doesnt matter if he doesnt like puzzles
maybe sticker chart or something to encourage getting himself dressed - i keep meaning to do that myself not got round to it though.

Ds2(3.3) seems totally different to most of your children.
He is NOT potty trained. Is still in nappies. Has shown no interest, or signs that he is ready.
Yet will play independantly for hours.
Has long attention span for puzzles. Loves cleaning and can wipe my kitchen floor well, and can hoover the lounge more than adequately.
Can take off clothes, ready for bath. But can not really dress. can not do socks. can do shoes. can put on coat but can not do zip.
recognoises name at nursery. can count to 20 verbally. but can not recognise any letters. has still got fist grip and can not write any letters at all.
can cut certain things with a knife and fork. But still often likes to be fed.
Can not pedal forwards.

Please don't worry OP. I think this thread shows how different they are, how some of them do do thngs that others don't. I don't think you've got anything to worry about.

oblomov my dd (3.1) still has fist grip too and cannot write any letters...I am not worried about her - historically children didn't learn to read or write until 6/7 and were capable of very high level literacy. I enjoyed making the list though because I think I tend to be a bit negative (not to her, obviously) about her capabilities, at least relative to her cousin and it was good to remind myself that she has a good range of skills, including remembering to say 'please' and 'thank you' :)

just had a look at fist grip online, and it's odd because DD can certainly use the pincer grip for all sorts of other things, just not holding crayons/pencils. Not to worry.

My DS is 3.3 next week. He can undress himself, including removing socks and shoes (velcro, not laces). He can get dressed on his own, except for jumpers, and cannot put on his own shoes. He is toilet trained, and will go on his own and will wash his hands on his own (only this can take 2 hours, if left to do it himself!), but doesn't wipe his bottom himself. He will play on his own for reasonable lengths of time, and can make complicated duplo structures. But mainly has a limited attention span, although will sit and listen to countless books being read. He can feed himself using knife/fork. He can also hold a pencil using the correct grip, but only really draws scribbles (although can draw a circle). Can count to about 15 if asked, does not know any letters, and cannot recognise his name written down. Can pedal a bike forwards and backwards. He also has lots of tantrums/strops and is completely unable to share anything, and usually wants to play with whatever his big sister has just picked up! He is completely different to my DD when she was this age!