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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

smacked my daughter today

10 replies

nulnulcat · 24/01/2006 22:31

2 year old behaviour getting worse by the day naughty step no longer working toy confiscation no longer working when i shout at her she laughs at me today she was terrorising the cat for the millonth time this week and actually hitting the poor thing really hard whilst grabbing it by the scruff of its neck shouted at her to stop tried removing her from the cat but she kept going back and i ended up smacking her on the bum she laughed at me!! smacked her hand when she clobbered the cat again and this time she cried and now i feel really guilty!

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laundrylover · 24/01/2006 22:38

Well stop feeling guilty for a start as I bet she's forgotton about it already (and the cat!). What about changing naughty step into 'shutting in room for a minute' - do you think this may have an impact?

Hattie05 · 24/01/2006 23:03

Don't feel guilty, but i wouldn't do it again, as you are only reinforcing her behaviour.

Two year olds aren't really being naughty they are simply being two year olds. Rather than thinking of 'punishments' try thinking of 'distractions'. When she starts to attack the cat, don't mention it, and just draw her attention to something completely different e.g. if you are cooking dinner at the time, sit her up with you and get her stirring something or even just 'washing up' at the sink. Or get a different toy out and engage her in a game with you.

My dd is three and she goes in and out of this sort of phase. They are just testing boundaries and if you don't give any response they realise its not worth doing quite quickly.

puddingandpie · 24/01/2006 23:15

They are so defiant at this age it is very difficult. I would try the going up to your room and holding door or into boring room ie dinning room works for me sort of. Good luck. My 2.5 year old shouted going up the stairs "For goodness sake" I was mortified.........

hunkermunker · 24/01/2006 23:17

How does hitting her teach her to stop hitting the cat? [puzzled]

furlong · 26/01/2006 14:30

Know just how you feel i have a DD 22 months who is a nightmare at the moment,when i say no she just laughs,the other week i smacked her on the bum and hated that her behaviour had made me do this,i too have tried the naughty step but it does not work.

Blu · 26/01/2006 14:35

2 year olds are still lerning by trial and error. They will not be deterred because if they were, they would learn nothing. they are programmed at this age to take all obstruction in their stride and try again.
They have no understanding that the cat feels pain, just that any reaction the cat makes is amusing.
REmove the cat to another room and shut it out/ teach by example that we are kind to cats, and only stroke them, and if she persists, put the cat out to a place of safety?

brette · 26/01/2006 15:36

Blu, I really like the way you put it "They will not be deterred because if they were, they would learn nothing. they are programmed at this age to take all obstruction in their stride and try again." Makes me see my stubborn 18m DS as a very resilient learner now.
Nulnulcat, touchy subject, the slapping on the hand but really don't feel guilty. She HAS forgotten about it. The cat, I don't know...

aviatrix · 26/01/2006 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

4blue1pink · 26/01/2006 18:39

nulnulcat ...forget the smacking issue! THE BLOODY CAT ISSUE!!!!!!! My son 3 on saturday is obsessed by feline torture and I swear it drives me nuts. cat has been away whilst we rented and since it has been back its life has been hell. My little boy chases hits 'strokes' prods feeds...you name it bernie has to endure it. I Just done find it funny though thats the thing. DS cannot be in the house without seeking out the cat and torturing it and my patience with the matter is so well worn that I think i may need to send the cat elsewhere for a while....is this your experience??

mummyhill · 26/01/2006 19:04

They soon forget they have been smacked but I agree that it is not a good habit to get into. Depending on the severity of our behaviour we used to get bottom step, sent to bed or stood in the back garden whatever the weather till we could be good. I find though that ignoring bad behaviour and praising good works well enough atm.

DD is nearly 4 and still terrorises our cat. However he will only put up with so much before scratching or leaving the house for an hour or so. I give no sympathy if he scratches, just clean her up and put some antiseptic on and she will leave him alone till the memory fades.

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