Boys' body image

[HendricksandTonic]

My 11 year old son is a tall gorgeous boy, who has a very slim build - both my husband and I (and our other son) are the same. He told me today that some of the 'cool boys' at school had been calling him "anorexic" while changing for games and doing it in front of others, so my son felt really embarrassed.

There is so much in the media about our kids getting fatter and, in fact, it is the larger kids saying this to him. I have told him he mustn't lower himself to their level and resort to "just because YOU'RE fat!!!" BUT, not sure how to advise him. I had the same kind of stuff (and still do actually - from women who are old enough to know better...) and I know it can affect your body image.

Want to save him from that if I can. Any bright ideas, please?

have had the same problem as a kid, and as an adult. (why do some people feel its ok to say ' ooh you need to put some weight on' you'd NEVER do it the other way round. Really annoying as it's seen as ok because you're thin not overweight.

you said 'cool' kids which suggests he likes them /fringe friend. if more he's frightened of them move straight to telling the school. If they are sort of friends, trick is to act like it doesn't bother him in the first instance (ensure he knows you are in know way looking to condone this and KNOW this is easier said than done) Kids just want a rise. if they don't get one they move on. 'Whatever' or i'm just naturally this gorgeous, etc helps but needs the bravardo to go with it, if your sons quietier simply a dismisive/blank look should do. (ignoring but looking upset, backing away in a corner is still a reaction,), assuming they are sort of friends and they don't stop, get him to say come on lads enoughs enough.

If they don't stop or hes not friends with them or indeed doesn't WANT to ignore it, ring your sons head of year or what ever your school does. They can be very descrete. doesn't need to even let your son know but always best if you tell him so he knows you are saying this is unacceptable. He may well object. I work in a school and at ours this is usually very effective whether they are friends or not. I would be tempted to ring them immediatly even if he does want to try and handle it himself. just ask them to keep an eye on it. a few well placed assemblies and teachers catching them in the act can prevent the need for your son/you to do anything.

Don't know your school but really hope that helps x

Thank you so much for that :-) Funnily enough, you've pretty much mirrored what I was thinking, but I needed confirmation that I was thinking the right way. I realise that what I do and say is VERY important. The head of year is also head of Games, so I think he's the place to start. Thanks for taking the time to reply. x

There are lots of good looking, successful, men in the media who are of slim build- might be worth looking at some images together and discussing them?

I understand where you're coming from, my DSS is 6 and very slim like my DH and is always comparing himself to his stocky step dad and saying that he isn't strong or "tough" enough!
We watch lots of films etc where leading character isn't built like the hulk, and discuss where strength comes from. It's frustrating though!

Rather than him resorting to calling them fat can he not think of a suitably good comeback without offending their build! I'm not sure what though. Maybe something like "Ronaldos skinny and all the women like him so I'm not that bothered to be honest!"
Sounds like his friends are a bit jealous to be honest and are saying it out of feeling inadequate if they are larger than he is!

Sorry, been busy and haven't checked the responses until today. Thank you everyone for talking time :-) I'm sure jealousy does play a part in it... As you say, there are plenty of slim-built guys in the public eye - I need to take some time to think specifically about them and use that. Good idea. As I said, I don't want him to start name-calling, so all of the above are alternatives to resorting to that. Thank you, thank you :D