Where can I get a super nanny? Dr Byron?

[clare40]

Once again I am despairing over my "naughty" 4 year old. I really feel I'm in a negative spiral and positive parenting has been replaced my negative moaning/shouting. I really want to turn things around. I can afford to pay, I just need some help! Can anyone know where I can ge it?

i have no idea about the specifics of what is going wrong for you, but my dd 4yrs was going through a terrible phase of shouting, hitting, tantrums, it was really ugly, and DH and I were getting pretty traumatised by her abusive behaviour. So one happy day we spoke about how unhappy it made all of us to be shouting at each other, and we all came up with some house rules. ours are 1) we are kind polite and helpful, 2)we listen to each other (she was getting frustrated because we were telling her what to do and not listening to her point of view) 3)we do not shout kick or hit (we never did the last two, but we did shout at her 4) we keep our things tidy 5) we do as we are told. then I designed a monthly sticker chart and she got as many stars as I thought she deserved each day. You have to be liberal with them, and really build their confidence and self esteem up. at the end of each week there was a treat - ice cream one week, love hearts the next, and a big prize at the end of the month - sparkly party shoes. It has been a fantastic success. She's not a saint, but she is much less angry, and so proud of herself too. I just got some bright stickers from paperchase, cost me £3. I never threaten to take stars off, or do anything bad with the chart, it is completely for positive reinforcement, maybe walking nicely home from nursery, putting her shoes away - nothing huge, just really bouying her up. Oh and if we shout at her we apologise, and if we shout at each other, she makes us apologise to each other. The results have been amazing for us. Maybe it might work for you?

Try local childrens centre. They often have out reach workers who can help or courses. Best one I know of is family links nature programme, sometimes known as parenting puzzle.

You don't need Supernanny or Dr Byron... just put on here what about the issues you are experiencing and chances are someone will be able to give suggestions.

If you use twitter, you can contact me directly on there @nannynick... and you will find that other childcarers (call us Supernannies if you wish ) are on there as well.

If you really want to spend money, then you could call Ask Nanny but they may not give you any better advice than I (and others) would give you (on here, via PM, or via Twitter) for free.

As lisad123 says, there are courses which can help... such as Parenting Puzzle.
NetMums has an introductory online course, which would lead on to the full Parenting Puzzle course.
Parenting Puzzle: Top Tips (pdf)

Some pointers from me (so based on my experience caring for children over the past 20+ years):

Pick battles carefully - consider how important something really is.
Give praise, give instant rewards (stickers can be good).
Cuddle, Hug - they may be bigger now but sometimes they just want a cuddle. If they are starting a tantrum, a cuddle can sometimes defuse it.
Reward charts... use if it works for your child. Personally I've not found that they work, perhaps I've not cared for the right children yet.
Count slowly to 3... before you act, take a deap breath and count outloud slowly to three. It can give you time to think.