how not to bring up bullies and discourage gang-behaviour in 3 years-old brothers....

[tostaky]

I have 2 DSs, 3.5 and almost 2. (and pregnant with a third boy, due soon)
I don?t give them crisps or dried fruits or sweets (they can have some though at parties etc..)
Problem is they love crisps and dried fruits and if they see a child in the playground munching away his pack of pombears/raisins, they will sit each side of the child and wait for him to share his crisps (looking insistently at the bag).
Of course, as soon as I see this happening, I go over and take my two little boys away from the pombear-kid.

They don?t physically or verbally hurt him but I am pretty sure having two brothers sitting around you and your packet of crisps must be quite intimidating for a 2-3 years old?

I worry they will become bullies if they carry on like this?
I have visions of me being called into the heateacher office at school in a few years time because the 3 Of them cornered another kid and took away his/her lunch?.

Do I worry too much? What should I do? I do tell them, to nicely ask the mum?s kid if they can have some crisps (although not ideal I think it is the most polite option for crisps-obsessed boys) but they don?t?

give them some crisps.
not masses but surely better than begging

What is wrong with them having some crisps/dried fruit???

Everything in moderation IMO

Personally I'd be a bit if 2 strange boys came and asked me for some of my DC's crisps. I'm not sure you should be encouraging them to do that.

I wouldn't worry though. I think this is pretty normal behaviour for a couple of toddlers and does not indicate a bullying problem ahead.

i think if you spent less time worrying about the health implications of a crisp you wouldn't have to get so stressed over the possibillity of raising a thug.

you seem to be over thinking things alot a little

What would I do? Personally? I'd give them crisps and dried fruit every now and then. They are behaving like that because they are forbidden not because they are bullies.
Make crisps and raisins a bit less of a big deal and they will stop harassing other kids. I mean you can't be that against them if you are encouraging them to ask the mum for some

Whats wrong with dried fruit?

My DCs get dried fruit and some crisps sometimes.

They always stare intently at other people eating and will lurk hopefully.

Their big sister did it when she was little and so did their big brother. DD would be 20 now and DS1 is 18. I think it must be genetic or something.

I do try and discourage it but they just seem to be hungry all the time.

I really should have one of those food conveyor belts like they have in Yo Sushi!

That way I could just fill it up of a morning and let them snarf all day.

but they do get crisps and dried fruits at parties/when invited to someones house and every week we are invited to a bday party or to soemones house...
so every week at least once they get crisps and/or dried fruits or other things i dont like.
i just never buy them because i dont want them to think it is proper food.
and i dont encourage them to ask other mums for some, i just try to teach them that it is more polite to ask than to intimidate. a few times the pombear/raisins mum's came over and ask her little one to share with my DSs....

ohdoadmit - thank you! so i dont have to worry too much then!

but you mentioned asking mums for Crisps
that is just odd, just buy them some

But they are proper food everything in moderation and all that.
I usually have food that other people consider treats and stuff in the house as do a fair few if my friends. Sone obviously don't but you know what given the choice my children and my best friend in particulars children are just as if not more likely to choose fruit or carrot sticks or something over crisps and chocolate because we always have a full fruit bowl and my dc don't see these things as exciting just food. They don't feel the need to gorge.
One of my friends was never allowed any junk as a child and as soon as she was old enough at school to be given control of her own money she bought coke and mars bars for lunch.

you have turned them into "special" food items.

So when they see them they are desperate to try them as they are "special"

if they had regular access they lose their appeal.
If they only every got apples at birthday parties then they would be excited to try them too.

loosen up. buy some crisps.

We had/still have! a sweetie drawer in our house, lots of goodies. Ours helped themselves, it was never banned. Often as not they would grab an apple instead anyway. TBH I never really thought much of it - until they grew up a bit and friends started to come and play. The kids that were not allowed sweets/to help themselves at home would just come and stuff themselves stupid. They had no self regulation at all.

To me that was alot more unhealthy than kids who eat balanced meals having a little snack or a treat when they felt like one.

Anything you 'forbid' so strongly at that small age will be in danger of becoming an obsession.

Is your husband a dentist ;)

When you went to parties as a child, wasn't there a special food there that you really loved? Mini sausages or cupcakes? Imagine seeing a kid in the playground munching those for their lunch - you'd want some too, yes? All you've done is turn pretty ordinary food into something exciting and covetable. It doesn't matter that they get to eat them at weekends - this food is still special. How you bring up your kids is your decision but it does seem odd that you can't give them, say, some unsulphered dried apricots or some of those baked crisps once or twice a week as part of a balanced lunch.