3 year old has become a nightmare!

[Lilo08]

dd was a sweet polite little girl. She was always happy and smiley and chatty when out and very pleasant to be around and loved being around other children.

And then she started preshool....

Now shes grumpy, screams if things don't go her way or don't get what she wants, hits (me) if people talk to her she just ignores, faces the other way or rudely will shout NO! To whatever they ask.
Even playdates are not pleasant anymore. She will not share, will not allow other children to play with her toys and rather they left.

However shes the sweet little girl as described above at preschool.

She goes mornings and i feel shes very tired but if i get dd to have a nap (she stopped naps at 2) she does not sleep at night, she'll take hours to fall asleep then wake every hour or so. If i get her to sleep early even by half hour she'll wake an hour or more earlier in the morning and even worse the next day. So i put her to bed 7.30pm till 7-7.30ish am.

I really dont know what to do as i hate taking her out now because of all the drama. Theres drama from not wanting breakfast, to brushing teeth, to brushing hair etc till we get to pre school. I'm at my wits end with her and so so upset over this and i dont know what to do. I thought it was a phase as she started pre school but she seems to be getting worse.

Any advice please..

Sorry, she sounds like a perfectly ordinary 3 yo to me. When she shouts at, or hits you, what is your response? Have you developed The Look yet? It is a phase, she's trying the boundaries, and you have to set them. Do not give in if it's important, but pick your fights. Offer her two options; do you want x or y for breakfast, would you like this toothbrush/paste or the other one, this brush or that one. Always work with the assumption that the task will be done, whether that's putting a coat on (would you prefer to put your right arm in first, or your left?) or brushing teeth.

And if she refuses both breakfast options, she'll feel hungry (consequence) but she won't die of it.

Thank you for your reply.

When she shouts/screams I ask in a calm voice to stop shout/screaming and what's wrong. Then I explain no need to shout as it won't get her anywhere. Same with hitting but when we're in public she ignores me.

I give her options with breakfast and it's usually none of the options so has been going to pre school on an empty stomach for a couple of weeks now.

I guess it'll get better but didn't expect such a drastic change and was a bit of a shock to me.

It's so hard :(