Any help with 3.5 year old eating?

[Amykins]

My lovely daughter eats very little. I have tried introducing things, but she sticks, on the whole, to her limited diet. Cajoling (maybe spelled wrong) does not help, neither do ultimatums or "If you have this, you can have that". Nursery are now concerned. Am so worried. She is allergic to dairy/eggs but this is not the real issue, there is so much she CAN eat.

Any advice would really help. Thank you.

No, she's on the 25th centile for height and weight, so in proportion.

Ketchup? My DS (age 3.6yrs) will eat stuff if covered in the red stuff.

DD is 3 and very fussy indeed.

I have just decided to let her decide what she eats. I offer her a range of things at mealtimes (including things I know she will like), let her load her own plate and leave her to get on with it really.

If she's hungry later, I give her toast.

For us, keeping mealtimes relaxed is a priority. When she feels relaxed and in control, she tends to try new foods.

What sort of things will she eat - or is it the amounts that worry you?

What does she eat?

My eldest DS from about 18 months to 3.5 years only really ate toast for breakfast with orange juice, cheese and cucumber sandwich for lunch (or occasionally tuna) and spaghetti bolognaise with peas for tea for 18 months. He would also eat yogurt and ice-cream and cheese and crackers. Whilst the diet wasn't bad for him as such, it was very limited.

I tried to introduce new things so many times, cooked some wonderful meals for him. He would not even try them. I tried just adding one new thing on his plate ... nothing.

It was frustrating because really nothing else would do. Although it did make it easier on the grocery shopping/preparing meals front.

About 6 months ago he decided he wanted to try new things. We had tried everything before, threats, etc. So I don't really know what made the change for him. Perhaps it was because now have more children over for tea and also go to their house for tea too, that may have made the difference? or he was just bored of eating the same thing. He now eats chicken, pork, lamb, fish, pizza, pasta, rice, potatoes, fruit and veg (if it is chopped small), loves raw carrots and humous, etc. it's great. He won't try anything remotely "spicy" but that's okay.

I guess I don't have a magic answer, but things do change.

Work out what she eats over a week, not a day. See if all food groups are covered. Make no comment or fuss when she eats, at all. Food has to be a complete non issue, even if that means you get busy when she eats.

Give her whatever she wants to build an appetite, within reason.

i read 'my child won't eat', it's a la leche league book i think, it made me feel loads better. and once i stopped a)hassling my dd to eat, b) feeding her and c) only giving her the same thing night after night she started to eat loads more and more variety too. she's still kind of fussy, but only ever gets what we're having with the odd concession (eg pasta separate from sauce so sauce can be avoided, blue cheese risotto without the blue cheese...) and if she doesn't eat it she might be allowed fruit or she might not.

if i'm really worried about hunger then she gets a larger cup of milk before bed than she usually would, but not having any dinner doesn't seem to make anyone in this family sleep any worse.

this is the one i read

this seems to be a reprint

Thank you everyone.

Am very much hoping things will change.

Nursery are worried because they say she doesn't know how to chew or swallow properly, shoves food in etc. I think this is because she is hungry, also a bit anxious. She eats fresh bread, soya milk and soya yogurt, apples (that was what she was having trouble with today), strawberries, jelly, spagetti, little bits of sausage roll, tiny amounts of mash, breadsticks, the odd soya choc button. I know it is bad, really. Just really worried.

She doesn't have trouble swallowing at home, but I try to not nag or make her more of the centre of attention than she already is at mealtimes. If you see what I mean.

Chewing and swallowing are concerns though, can you get a GP to refer you to CAHMs or salt. That sort of thing can be indicative of other things.

Have doctor's appointment, but not till next Friday.

Will ask about that, thank you Posie.

I will add my second DS has mild "stuffing" issues but he has a slow speech development so he has a lot of scrutiny but he as an underlying condition which warrants the attention. He loves pasta best as it is soft and easiest for him to chew. He is also currently going through a banana and cheerios phase, he is two.

We were given a chewy tube to encourage chewing. We were also told to "model" chewing. We stopped cutting up his food small as we found when we did that he stuffed all the small pieces in. It was better when there were bigger chunks and he had to take a bite.

Also we switched to an electric toothbrush, we were shown to use the bristle bit inside his mouth (even the roof) and focus on the lips as well. We use the back side of the brush on his cheeks. Apparently an electric toothbrush stimulates the nerves.

We have also just been given a NUK brush. It's like a starter toothbrush, so no bristles just bumps. We use it to massage his face and lips.

I suspect that this would have been picked up on before if she has any serious issues. It's great you have an appointment on Friday I am sure they can put your mind at ease.