Speech, Language and Social Communication Delay in a 3 year old

[row78]

My son has been speech delayed and I at 3 he has around 30 words (which has really increased in the last few months) but most with very bad pronunciation. He's due to start a NHS speech group in march and we did some private speech therapy a few months ago that focused on how we interact with him. His childminder brought in the SENCo to take a look at him and she says he also has a social communication delay. I'll be meeting her later this month to learn more but I just wondered if anyone else had experience on this (because I'm not fully sure what it is) and whether they had any tips and hints to help? The speech therapist did recommend that we concentrate on turn taking and we have been doing that and there is a great improvement there. Thanks in advance

there are milestones in social communications, such as knowing how to play with other children, taking turns, listening, eye contact, etc. Some children develop those skills differently than others and it doesn't mean anything, whereas other children will have more pronounced issues.

My youngest DS has a speech disorder, but at 3 he had about 30 words, most of which were very badly pronounced. He was also late at socialising with other children, he would walk away from other children (apart from his brother and a couple co very close friends). At birthday parties or in large groups he would always walk away and play on his own or sit on his own. He didn't communicate that he was hungry or needed anything until he was about 3.5.

On a positive side, it doesn't actually mean that there are more significant issues, it's just one area of their development and it's good that you receive support now. DS' social skills really only started developing in Reception and he now talks about his best friends at school, he wants to have a birthday party and invite them all. School has been fantastic for him.

I have a very good book called Motivate to Communicate which gives lots of ideas for listening games and games that encourage communicaiton, both verbal and non verbal. It's on amazon and it's not expensive. It says it's for autistic children on the cover but really it's for all children who might have communicaitons problems.

Thanks BlueberryPancake, that is really, really helpful. My son should start preschool in Sept so hopefully that will help him. I've just looked at that book and they do a kindle edition as well so I'll be downloading that tonight. I'm glad that your son is doing much better now in school, it worried me if he is so behind now how he will cope once he starts at his school. Thanks again.

This is nice to read as DD is 3 with speech delay - her 20month old brother probably has more words than she does :( but she is collecting new ones regularly although it takes us a while to recognise them as she's trying them out on us.
She does ask for 'more juice' etc in 2 wd sentences, and has recently started taking turns with a juice cup with younger brother, but only on her own terms, she is just as likely to push him away if she doesn't feel like sharing at the time, and her older brother doesn't get a look in She does go to nursery 3 mornings a week and is normally happy at drop off, still has the odd morning when she doesn't want me to leave but she's happy there when I pick her up and they say she is fine during the session. She has just abut potty trained herself since Christmas but rarely asks for the potty, will just pull her trousers down without a word - although its getting more common that she'll get down from the table saying 'sit potty' so I think thats progress
She has been seeing SALT but is on her 5th address, and 3rd county since she started SALT which obviously isn't ideal, her next appt isn't till March
We also managed to get her seen by a paed as we were concerned by her 'meltdowns' which seemed mre than a usual toddler tantrum but were told she seemed NT and she'd grow out of it. Frustratingly, within a week of that she had a meltdown at a children's centre group and were advised by one of the staff to discuss it with HV!
Does this sound familiar to you?

Part of me is happy that she is making progress, at her own speed, but am concerned that the tantrum/meltdowns are symptomatic of something else rather than just frustration because of the language delay. Will try the book you recommended

My son has quite terrible meltdowns at the moment. He has also started to hit himself in the face hard when he doesn't get his own way. I'm hoping it's just frustration about not being able to communicate and nothing more. He refuses to do anything with his little sister, never mind take turns and runs away from her now she is crawling!

I shouldn't be glad that your son is having meltdowns too row, but it does make DD seem less 'different'. This morning I was getting her dressed and she let me help her into her pants and Tshirt perfectly happily, even socks, but when I tried to get her into her trousers she was lashing out and waving her legs all over - wish I knew why. She wasn't crying or anything, SO frustrating and makes it really hard not to lash back :( as it seems so senseless and just 'naughty'
Have you mentioned it the HV or are you waiting for him to collect/use words in his own time?

Hi yorky, sorry about the late reply, the kids have been constantly ill (and up all night) since I last posted so it's impossible to post. My son's meltdowns are impossible at the moment, he hits, bites and kicks me. We went to the park yesterday and because we didn't go in the car he threw his scooter at the car a few times and then threw himself on the floor sobbing. I'm hoping it's frustration at his lack of talking because then it will pass as he gets better at it and not a sign of anything else. The HV reffered us to SALT about a year ago so she knows about it, hoping the speech group is helpful and we're starting it in a few weeks. Also considering maybe moving him from the childminder to a nursery to "socialise" with more children his age, but maybe that wouldn't actually be for the best?

have you spoke to your HV? What do they say? And what did they say at the last SALT appointment? Glad to know it's not just me as well.

I can completely understand what you're going through.

My 4 year old DS is exactly the same - especially when it comes to the tantrums. It's so hard because he can't tell me what he wants, or what's wrong with a situation, which leads to both of us being frustrated. I'm ashamed to say that sometimes in my head I'm screaming at him, what do you WANT ffs? Like Yorky said, especially in situations like that where there's no apparent reason for the tantrum.

Currently DS is in a special nursery that has SALTs on-site so he gets support, and his speech has improved since he started there. The staff there are fantastic. It just makes me feel like a shit mother when my son can't tell me what's wrong :(

I also have a 7mo DD and I'm off work with a very painful lapsed disc. DP is fantastic but I just can't cope with DS in the way that I used to. During one of his meltdowns today I started wondering what my life would have been like if I hadn't had him :( That's such a horrible thing to say but I really do feel at my wit's end sometimes.

Then when I put him to bed and he says "ove oo mummy," I want to cry at the amount of time I spend being frustrated or shouting at him. He's my gorgeous boy and I love him.

Sorry for sneaking in a chance to offload - I realise this might not be what you want to hear but please be heartened that your DS was caught a little earlier than mine. It will get better (or so they keep telling me!)

I have similar issues with my DS who is 2.5 and barely speaking. Thankfully the hv listened at the 2yr check and he was referred to a speech therapy group, but it didn't have much impact. The more time passes the more concerned I am.

I asked for a hearing test as very often DS doesn't respond at all, the GP refused saying he's too young.

He has meltdowns too. They are quite short but they come on so suddenly it's quite scary.

What does social communication delay actually mean?

fuzz- you must push for a hearing test- he is not too young at all. my DD had hers at 22mo, they do it in a different way if they are a bit older, but there is no way he is too young. She was then able to be referred straight to SALT and is now making progress, although she is still behind her peers at 2.6.

Well that's what I thought ambulo, but the GP was quite dismissive. We went through the symptoms of glue ear and it certainly does not seem as though that is the problem.

But the GP said there was no reliable test for his age and yet my friend had her DD tested at a similar age.

DS just won't respond sometimes, GP said it was just typical toddlers, but he really seems in a world of his own.

Fuzz, my ds had a hearing test much younger than that. It was in the childrens audiology department in the hospital and there were some fairly young people there, I would say around 12 months or so. In some ways ds has been lucky as he was referred to a cerebral palsy consultant at birth and although it turns out he doesn't have CP, being in the system has meant that his referrals for SALT, physio etc can really early without having to battle with a GP.

Fuzz, can your hv refer you? MIne did so, on my request, as I had concerns about my DDs speech. I was not right about her hearing but from there, it was quicker to get her on the speech and language list. S+L would have asked for a hearing test anyway, so we just did it the opposite way round.

afternoondelight - I'm often screaming in my head, it is so frustrating not having a clue what they want, or if they have a sore throat. Please do offload, I feel very much like no one else can understand what it is like for me as their children are all talking in sentences.

fuzzPickwickPapers - I only have blueberrypancake's explanation above. Our hv referred him for a hearing test and he had his first one at 2 years 3 months. He shocked me at how well he followed the instructions and good he was at it. Apparently he needed it for the SALT referral.

oh and afternoondelight - I completely understand where you are coming from with the below:

I want to cry at the amount of time I spend being frustrated or shouting at him. He's my gorgeous boy and I love him.

HI
my son is 4 and has a speech disorder - verbal dyspraxia. It really annoys me how rubbish some gp's are- of course you can have a hearing test at 2. Have you tried finding out about makaton to help with communicating - do you watch mr tumble - that is a good way of learning some signs - even simple things that help your dc express themselves can have a huge impact on their behaviour. I have had to push for support since he was about 2 but there are some really good speech therapists out there

Hi there, hope you don't mind me jumping on board - Yorky, in your post you could have been describing my dd. She has just turned 3 & is very delayed, she has alot of words, but rarely puts them together & pronunciation is bad. We live in australia & went for a hearing test yesterday (prior to referral to speech therapist). It was a complete disaster. She wouldn't let the Dr put the plugs in her ear let alone sit quietly while he played sounds. He looked at her like she had 3 heads & said we would need to get it done at the hospital as she round have to be sedated. I was in tears by the time we left. Her tantrums are becoming spectacular & I am becoming worried there is something else going on and that I have it very late for a diagnosis. Hope you don't mind me offloading, it helps to talk to other people who understand.

Also agree with everyone about how frustrating life is at the moment - one on hand I am so proud of her for the progress she is making, but I get so angry when she refuses to cooperate (which seems to be most of the time at the moment!) it's just a constant battle some days