How should I stop the night feed with my 14m old?

[Izpie]

She's a rubbish sleeper, on an average night wakes 3 times between bed (7.30) and morning (5.30-6). She gets one bf a night, my rule is not before 3.30 and sometimes it's later, she has a proper feed lasting about 20 mins. I want to give up bf altogether & really want to get some better sleep.

So do I go cold turkey & just cut the night feed, slowly reduce amount of time she feeds for each night, move feed a little later each night, introduce a dream feed - which seems a bit ridiculous at 14m?

I am bookmarking this thread as I am in a similar position with my 15 month old dd2....

When I stopped bfing ds1, he started sleeping through. Prior to that he'd been feeding every two hours and throwing the mother of all hissy fits if I tried to dissuade him. I thought it was going to be nightmare, but two nights and it was a done deal.

The girls had to go cold turkey. Same again though, really.

My parents swear by offering water instead of milk, but I could never be bothered with that faff. Just say no. And get dp to go in and deliver the verdict if possible. As many times as necessary.

I wouldn't bother with all the feed reduction/ fannying with timings crap tbh.

outofbody, how old was your ds when you stopped bf?

Hi Izpie

I have just stopped feeding my 15month old. It was a strange situation. He was only feeding at night (we cosleep) and waking three times or so for a quick feed. I had to leave him for five nights very unexpectedly (my dad died and I had to go abroad) so I went cold turkey. My boobs hurt for a day and a night but were ok after that (think I was lucky)

He did not seem to miss the boob at all. Had plenty of cuddles with DH and was offered water but looks at it like it is alien did not really take it. Three weeks on and we still cosleep but I would say he sleeps the same (i.e. still wakes a bit) but a cuddle from me or DH and he goes back to sleep.

TBH if I had not gone abroad I would have been humming and haaing and taking my time about giving up but I am actually glad to have my body back but miss the BF more than I thought.

p.s I should have said I would not necessarily recommend cold turkey but I think that given we were down to two/three feeds it was not too bad.

My dd was about 13 months (about 1 month or so ago) when I stopped co-sleeping and bf at night. Like you, I just wanted a proper night's sleep back. I felt waking up several times a night to feed was affecting my moods and making me cranky and short-tempered not only with dd but the whole family. I'm afraid I just went cold-turkey. DD was on some antibiotics which had knocked her out a bit, so I seized my opportunity and just went for it! DH and I decamped into a different bedroom. Fortunately there are 3 doors between us and DD, so as I am a bit of a softie and find it hard to listen to them crying (reason i was still co-sleeping at 13m!) - this was the only way I could do it, literally by ensuring I couldn't hear much anyway. LIke another poster says, I couldn't be doing with faffing around and I just knew patting and shssing was going to work - I'm too impatient and she's an all or nothing baby - either it would be mummy's nipple and milk, or forget it.

First few nights we had one or two wakings in the middle of the night, but not very much to be honest. I think once or twice she was awake crying very early, maybe 4 in the morning, so I went and got her and brought her into our room. Since then, she's slept in her own room by herself every night and we've never had a peep. Unbelievably (because she's quite a light sleeper and not a 'good' sleeper really) we've even found her still sleeping on a few mornings and not been able to rouse her, so have left her slumbering on! This is VERY uncharacteristic - she's the type of baby who wakes and cries the second you start creeping up the stairs to bed!

All in all so far (touch wood) it's been a fantastic month - at least of sleep for me. I honestly believe that she is sleeping better now - she has never slept through the night before because I was always there beside her with milk on tap. I am enjoying my nights and getting loads of glorious sleep which makes me MUCH more patient and even-tempered for the whole family.

I would say if you're feeling at that point, go for it. Decide the method best for you. Don't worry if you go cold turkey like we did. They're safe and they're fine. Set your alarm during the night and get up and go in and check she's fine if you're worried at first. I hope that before too long your DD will also get into the habit of sleeping better through the night.

best of luck.

He was a couple of months younger than op's.

Touch wood, they have all been fine sleepers since. Dd2 had a bit of a saga for 6 mos at 2 with night terrors (which were wearing in the extreme) but it's all a dim and distant memory now.

Thanks for sharing all your experiences, I'm the only person I know in this situation so it's really good to hear from all of you. I'm sorry about your dad kathMCB, hope you are doing ok. Have decided that I'll replace bedtime bf with a bottle today & attempt to drop the night feed from the weekend when I don't have work & dh can help. Not looking forward to sore boobs!