DS, 2.2 years, hitting himself - help please!

[MadeInChinaBaby]

For the last couple of days, when my son has become frustrated over normal toddler stuff, his response has been to repeatedly whack himself pretty hard in the face. This is obviously pretty distressing for him and for me.

He's normally a very gentle little boy; whilst he does have his moments, he's mostly calm and affectionate. This new development has really shaken me because it's what I do when I have panic attacks. In his whole life, he's only witnessed me having a panic attack three times, but the last time was about six weeks ago. Could he be copying me? I'm normally a relaxed mum, but I feel really, really guilty about this. My response so far has been to act like it's not a big deal and help him with whatever the cause is, as I don't want to 'feed' it if it's an attention technique.

I'm hoping to get lots of responses telling me it's normal toddler behaviour, but I'm afraid that he's a fruit cake just like his mum.

yes I would ignore (hard, I know). He has discovered a way to get attention (clever buggers, two year olds, non?) and it will dwindle away in due course, and he'll find summat else to press your buttons with

I am a bit concerned about you - do you take medication or have counselling for your panic attacks?

My DS 17mo doesn't hit himself but he definitely tries to hurt himelf when he's having a tantrum. He moves himself to somewhere with an edge, like a bookcase, and throws himself against it.

I just hold him or put him in a safe place like our big beanbag until he calms down.

My 5 year old hits himself when he gets frustrated. Not too hard though.
He has never seen me do this. I don't do this. But I do have fruitcake tendencies.
I think it's normal and preferable to whacking you, love him.

Don't feel guilty. Carry on helping him to calm down.

My 10 year old used to pull his hair when he got cross with himself. He hasn't done it for a good while now. Sometimes children don't know how to express themselves and in their frustration lash out or hit themselves. Try not to worry too much about it. I know that is easier said than done, but he will grow out of it. One day you will wake up and realise he hasn't hit himself for ages and that will be such a good feeling for you. Please don't feel guilty, you are human like the rest of us.

Thank you all for your replies. I'll continue trying to ignore the whacking by addressing the cause of the meltdown instead... BoysAreLikeDogs - I'm OK. I take anti-anxiety meds and mostly know my triggers and how to best handle my panic attacks - sort of more like acceptance than looking for a magic cure - but it does worry me that there's a little boy in my life now who's only going to get more and more perceptive of things not being right sometimes.

mine used to bang his head on the floor - was otherwise normal! We basically ignored / showed him love etc. (i.e. not giving the actual headbanging any attention, but making sure he had lots of attention / cuddles etc. generally if upset about anything). He grew out of it after a while - has had no lasting effect or other similar episodes at all since then.

sorry - missed the bit about you doing this yourself - ditto the others - do not feel guilty - we are all human and all have our issues!

But def try to attend to your anxiety (I know you are already) as children do pick up on these things and can grow up with similar issues .. do you see a counsellor or therapist?

Counselling is not really an option as we live overseas and I struggle language-wise, and to be honest my panic attacks really are infrequent these days. Seeing DS doing this has made me realise why DH finds my panic attacks difficult to deal with - it's awful to witness. We've spoken about how best to deal with things if I get panicky around DS, and I thought we were managing well... until this. I just hope it's a passing phase.

sorry - I'm not a therapist or anything, so can't offer much help in that area - but maybe there's some advice you can look up online, as to ways perhaps of dealing with the anxiety in a different (more covert?!) way - e.g. every time you think you need to hit yourself you do some alternative instead (e.g. deep breathing) - that maybe won't be so obvious to your ds?
sorry - I may be talking rubbish here - but maybe have a look as to answers to this that may help you in the meantime in the absence of therapy.