My 4 year old son won´t socialize!

[Vi8]

That´s it, really. He is ok at school, but then refuses to meet friends with kids his age, or even attend his school friends´ birthday parties. If i manage to persuade him he´ll be asking to home home within minutes. He says he needs no friends as he has me, his dad and big sister... He adores adult friends and my parents, and could spend all day chatting to them. He also has been having horrible tantrums for the last few months, but I´ve just seen a couple of other threads about this of MN concerning 4 year olds, so maybe that´s normal... or could be related. He is extremely bright and creative and loves doing things on his own. I´m just a bit concerned now...

Oh please don't worry about this yet - my DS1 was exactly the same and I cried over it was embarrassed at parties and spent ages persuading bribing him to try and make friends. His nursery teacher flagged the fact that he didn't "form relationships" as an issue too, which worried me stupid.

He just wasn't ready or, like your son, that bothered about having friends. He knew what he liked to do and was happy to do it on his own without other children interfering or spoiling his work.

Gradually over his infant school years, he started to play with others, if they were doing something he liked and now at age 10 he's a sociable and popular boy, part of a close group of 8 friends at school and others at cubs/sports etc, but still very happy with his own company.

Continue to give him opportunities to mix, but no pressure please, for your sake as much as his.

Thank you!! I get a bit upset when i see the others having a good time while he's begging to go home. When there is a birthday party he wants me to go in on my own, while he waits in the car, to collect the party bag!! I hope he is like your son...

My DS is similar - he doesn't like birthday parties (we go and he sits on our lap or talks to the other parents but never joins in), plays by himself at playschool etc. But he's perfectly fine with his sisters at home so I assume he's just not that bothered about joining in. He'll be 4 in April.

Apparently my DH was just the same as a child so I'm not worried, although I feel he's missing out sometimes but I have to remind myself that he's happy so it's fine!

To give the other perspective, dd always wants external people to play with. Makes me a bit

I wouldn't worry. If he is happy that is all that matters.
I can never understand all the fuss on here about birthday parties and DCs not getting invited. I hated them when I was 5yrs and would have been very happy not to get invited. I like parties now-as long as I know people.
I think that as parents we want our DCs to be popular with a wide circle of friends, but it isn't necessarily what the DC wants.
They are all different. 4 yr old boys often play separately with others. If he was worried about it then it would be a different matter.

Hi.
This is my first time not sure when ok to join in.
My 4 year old DD just started school says she likes it but upset she is struggling to make friends.
I keep telling her to carry on talking to everyone as it will happen but now shes starting to throw strops every day after school.
Any advice?

Hi Blacky-feel free to join in anything-welcome. It might be more useful to start your own thread if you want help.
I would say that she is very tired-it is a long day. Have you tried inviting a DC home to tea?