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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do you punish yr 13 yr old for skipping afternoon school?

22 replies

dolally · 22/01/2006 22:02

She didn't bother to go back on Friday afternoon, hung out with some friends. I found out by chance.... not sure how hard to come down on her? Any one else had this?

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starlover · 22/01/2006 22:03

yes! i would!
i don't have 13 yr o,d but if i did she would definitely be grounded and given a talking to.

and would tell friends' parents too

kid · 22/01/2006 22:07

Yes, I would punish her too. I skipped school occasionally and never really got in trouble for it. I think if I had been punished I wouldn't have done it skipped school as often!

My kids won't get away with anything if I can help it. I'd tell friends parents as well.

Milliways · 22/01/2006 22:10

Definately - At 14 they are doing GCSE coursework, so cannot afford to miss any school.

fairydust · 22/01/2006 22:12

I would find out if there was a reason why she skipped out of school - it might not be a simple to hang out with friends there could be a class she's having trouble with.

edam · 22/01/2006 22:12

Yes, of course! And I'd try to find out whether there's anything more behind it than hanging out with her mates. Bullying, for example.

Original poster

dolally · 22/01/2006 22:14

Thanks gals. I was thinking of going to the school tomorrow and taking away her permission to leave the school grounds, like until the end of term. I know I should and it's always better to come down hard straightaway rather than giving her a chance to try it again!!! Isn't it? Ta again.

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Original poster

dolally · 22/01/2006 22:18

I did ask her why and she said that she only had two lessons in the afternoon and one of those was going to a free period as the teacher was away. I don't think there's any bullying. The whole class is quite close knit - the majority of them have been together since primary. But one or two of the kids she hung out with are the ones who are going to fail this year. So, as I type that, I realise I would be nuts not to get tough...

OP posts:

starlover · 22/01/2006 22:20

they get a free period if teacher is away?

in my day we had evil supply teachers

Original poster

dolally · 22/01/2006 22:29

star, we're not in the UK. If the teacher is away they are supposed to supply a substitute, and the kids have to attend the lesson. If no substitute available then the kids are free.

Am determined my kids will get an education DESPITE the school rather than....

OP posts:

Cabe · 22/01/2006 23:04

Punish is a harsh word... putting a plan into place to make it less likely to happen would be more constructive. At 13/14 you can talk pretty straight about what they're doing to their future by not committing themselves to their education... It worked with mine

Tortington · 22/01/2006 23:12

clean toilet
empty the bin and clean it.

those are great punishments

brimfull · 22/01/2006 23:13

yes,definately don't let it go .

I agree with kid,i skipped school and got away with it.In retrospect I wish my parents had known and dealt with me.I was bored at school and ended up opting out.

Important thing is to keep your cool in order to keep the communication going.I know my 14 yr old dd can opt out of talking about things if she knows I'm likely to lose my temper.Doesn't help us at all

serenity · 22/01/2006 23:15

When my Bf's DS did this she grounded him plus she made him take a letter into school, telling them he bunked off. He then got detentions from them as well.

Cabe · 22/01/2006 23:17

custardo - my dd wouldn't be too chuffed at those

mumeeee · 23/01/2006 00:05

Yes I would, but I would also talk to her and ask her why she skipped school.

SleepyJess · 23/01/2006 00:08

I would go ballastic I have to admit. I have a thriteen year old DS and I don't think he would dare.. he would know my reaction.. and I am not the strictest mother in the world in other respects.

NannyL · 23/01/2006 09:51

Absolutely without doubt!

i would never have dared sckip school cause i know what my parenst would recation would have been! (well actually i dont "know" but i can guess they would have been VERY cross!)

Hulababy · 23/01/2006 09:58

I would punish for truanting, as well as a good long talk about the consequences of truanting.

School will possibly want some form of letter explaining absense - I know for definite my parents would not have lied for me! So it would go down as unauthorised absense due to no note, or unauthorised due to truanting.

I would definitely check if they really get a free period when a teacher is absent. Talk to the school. At 13 this is not on and I have never known a school to do this - normally there is another teacher (a teacher from the school on their free lesson or a supply teacher) standing in, doing work set by the class teacher. If this is not the case I would have big issues with the school and be wanting to take that matter further.

Meanoldmummy · 23/01/2006 10:05

definitely

izzybiz · 23/01/2006 10:12

i have a 13 yo Ds, and a couple of times he has bunked off a lesson. i dont know why because he got caught both times and the school phoned me.
he was put on attendance report at school, and at home was grounded. He doesnt really stand much chance of getting away with it as his school is pretty hot on calling home to check up on them.

usandbump · 23/01/2006 15:39

Another way to look at it is what if something had happened to her and her friends? No-one would have known where they were.
I think yes a fairly serious punishment but to talk through why it worries you aswell.

Tortington · 25/01/2006 16:49

and the punishment was?

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