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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Right, out with the dummies - need advice!

30 replies

MrsWood · 22/01/2006 17:15

Been telling dd (2.5) that dummy fairy will be coming very soon for all her dummies and that when that happens she will leave her a present in exchange for the dummies. She's great with it whilst we just talk about it happening - don't know how she'll react when it actually happens. Now, been telling her that for 2-3 days now - when should we actually do it!? Don't want to talk about it for ages in case she loses interest but also don't want it to be too soon in case she's not ready. To give you an idea how attached she is to her dummies - she uses it when tired, ill and when going to bed.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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pebblemum · 22/01/2006 17:26

My son is the same and I am dreading getting rid of them so I could do with advice too. He is the same age as your dd.

A friend of mine told me yesterday that her daughter just got up one day and told her mum "throw dummies away" and hasnt asked for them since but I dont think I'm going to be that lucky.

littlemissbossy · 22/01/2006 17:35

I threw out the dummies one by one, then they just disappeared for good and DS had to go cold turkey. It was a nightmare for a couple of days, but I didn't give in and he was fine there on. Go for it!!

Original poster

MrsWood · 22/01/2006 17:53

Oh, I'm deffo going for it - just don't want to be too harsh as she's not a whiner when it comes to dummies and is quite good when she can't find one... Wish me luck! Will keep you posted after I actually do it.

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Meanoldmummy · 22/01/2006 18:03

We told ds1 about 3 days before and got him all excited about getting a big boy's pressie in exchange for his boring old dummies. Then we just did it. Whenever we had done it he would have wailed that it was too soon... he got over it in a couple of days. Just bite the bullet and do it - she'll get used to it as long as you are firm and don't give them back once they've gone!!

Charellie · 22/01/2006 18:14

I started talking about Santa needing the dummies about a month before Christmas. My dt's are 3. They understood and on Christmas morning we left them on a plate they had decorated by the front door and about an hour later a present was left in their place. The first night dt2 had no problems and was asleep after about 15 mins and didn't wake up. DT1 woke a couple of times in the night and took about 20 mins to settle but it only took a couple of nights for her to be sleeping through again.

I expected it to be a lot worse than it was.

Tyakit · 22/01/2006 19:45

I was really worried about how to wean dd off the dummy, but it was actually amazingly easy in the end. She had a bad cold one day when she was just over 2 (now 3.1) and passed me her dummy saying that it tasted bad - and never had another after that! After we had our first dummy free day ever, she did ask for them again, but we just said that we had thrown them away because they didn't taste nice and then dropped in a few mild comments about duumies being for babies. I kept expecting a huge fuss and tantrum but it never came! Have since wondered if dabbing something with an off putting taste onto dummies would work in a similar way??

Yorkiegirl · 22/01/2006 19:47

Message withdrawn

nannyme · 22/01/2006 20:00

To be controversial, not sure how I feel about feeding our trusting little darlings with a load of old garbage, i.e. lies about fairies needing them, etc.

Oh well, I guess that is a case in itself for doing it early before they develop the ability to recognise and recall that dummy fairies are just the start of a whole load of BS they will get fed as their innocence gradually comes to an end!

Lying and Confiscation, wonderful...

Told you I was going to be controversial, now pick my argument to pieces at your leisure just please don't get the tooth fairies, the dummy fairies or big fat Santa onto me!

muma3 · 22/01/2006 20:09

i told my dd2 that the dummie fairyies will come and turn her dumies into her christmas prezzies (or bday?) and if she didnt hand them over then she wouldnt be able to have any presents ?
it did work for us and she was thrilled with a princess castle that i labelled from the fairies !!!!

hovely · 22/01/2006 20:16

DD personally posted hers into the letter box to the dummy fairy (addressed to my sister, who had been pre-warned...) then continued there and then to choose a scooter as a special big girl's present. She was 2.5. AFAIK there were 2 outbursts that day, lasted say 15 minutes each, then a bit of grizzling for a couple of days, and that was it.

nannyme · 22/01/2006 20:23

I should add, that we tracked 'Santa' online on Christmas eve so I am as guilty as the rest of you with your fake fairies!

Original poster

MrsWood · 22/01/2006 20:34

typical - she developed a cold and has had runny nose all day - should I put it off for few days or go for it anyway? Was gonna tell her to leave her dummies in a little box tomorrow morning before she goes to nursery, so the fairies can get it - and was gonna go out in the afternoon to get present for fairies to leave her so she sees it when she gets back from nursery. does that soumds like a plan?

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7777777 · 22/01/2006 21:09

my first ds had his dummy till he as 4.5, he slept with one in his mouth and one in each hand to twiddle with, he didnt use them outside the house so i didnt see an issue with taking them away. my friend bought him a new toy to swap for the dummies in the end and he was fine. my ds 15mths old has one as well and il leave till hes ready

amyd2 · 23/01/2006 21:01

my dd1 had dummys (now 5) and we told her that on her 3rd bday the bday fairries were coming for them to give to new babies. on the morning of her 3rd bday she woke and asked where they were, i told her the fairries had been and she received a pressie in return, she was absolutely fine and didnt ask again.did you carry out your plan ? how did it go ?

Original poster

MrsWood · 23/01/2006 23:10

she's really really ill at the mo - she suffers from asthma and has difficulty breathing when she has colds / flu etc. so it'd be a bit cruel to upset her now. But I'm planning to go for it as soon as she gets better - usually 2-3 days so by the end of this week - bye bye dummies. Strangely enough she mentioned it all this afternoon by saying something like "dummy fairy will come and get my dummies soon and leave a BIIIIIIIIIG present, yeah?" LOL - bless her.

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amyd2 · 24/01/2006 11:20

oh bless her, i hope she is feeling better soon and good luck with it i must go now as my dd2 has just woke from her nap

Original poster

MrsWood · 24/01/2006 11:23

Little update: kept her out of nursery today as she was very poorly yesterday, and this morning two things happened:

she was putting her socks on and they have a little fairy on them (xmas one) - she goes "look mummy, dummy fairy!!!". Obviously I acknowlidged that in fact it IS dummy fairy and that that surely means she's almost coming to take her dummies. She just responded "yes, she is, she's coming to get all my dummies and leave a biiiiig present!!!"
Whilst watching some Cbeebies this morning, she took her teddies and her dummy - at which point I thought "oh damn!" until she put it in her mouth, took it straight out and announced that "only babies have dummies"... and again with the fairy and present bit...

Soooooooo - I decided, cold or not, fairy is coming tomorrow! Fingers crossed!

OP posts:

amyd2 · 24/01/2006 13:05

be careful though as it sounds as though maybe she is waiting to see the "dummy fairries" and might not be so impressed when they have been and not said hello!! but anyway hope it goes well.

Passionflower · 24/01/2006 14:09

Ha ha, how opportune. DD3 is going cold turkey today (she's just turned 2). But she will still be allowed one at bedtime.

The school run was a nightmare of screaming this morning but she seems to have forgotten about it now .

Original poster

MrsWood · 25/01/2006 11:01

Right, yesterday all day she refused to suckle on her dummy - just holding it in her hand - this morning she put all 3 remaining dummies on a blanket, said goodbye to them and went to nursery. Now I'm (aka Dummy Fairy) off to Toys'R'Us to get some pressies. Any suggestions on how much is necessary!? Gotta be worth it for her otherwise she may asked for them to be brought back from Dummy Fairyland!

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsWood · 25/01/2006 20:35

Went ot pick her up at nursery - she immediately asked if the fairy had been!?
Fairy bought puzzles and dough factory and sprinkled it with fairy dust and left it where she left the dummies...
When we came home, she was estatic - played with it all for ages and still seemed quite keen on the whole "I'm a big girl now" thing...

NOW - we've just put her to bed at 8pm - she's still talking to herself but doesn't seem bothered about dummies (so far).

Will let you know if she fell asleep ok. Fingers crossed!

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Aloha · 25/01/2006 20:43

My ds - absolutely in love with his dummies, lost all interest just before 4 (he was only using it at night by then). Just said, 'I don't need it any more' and that was it. Fantastic.

drosophila · 25/01/2006 20:44

My niece was in school and was still using a dummy so she remembers it well. My sister put a hole in her dummies and they just weren't the same after that (her words)so she gave them up.

Original poster

MrsWood · 25/01/2006 21:07

9pm - still awake (probably as no dummy) - asked me once to hold one but I said fairy took them so that was that.

OP posts:

Aloha · 25/01/2006 21:08

I let ds's dummy get very manky. Think this may have influenced his decision. I recommend it.

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