My DS4 is having night terrors - any advice?

[lucylookout]

He had been a good sleeper until he had a high temperature during chicken pox, just before Christmas. This seemed to spark the night terrors off. He had them on and off for a couple of weeks, and then they went. But then a couple of weeks ago he had a tummy bug, accompanied by a temp, and since then he's being having them virtually every night. As anyone who's DC has had them, you'll know it's horrible to watch. He sits up in bed, eyes wide open, screaming and pointing at 'things' he can see on the ceiling and walls. They last around 5 - 10 minutes before he goes back to sleep. He never remembers them in the morning. They always happen around 10 o'clock, so at about 9.45 we've been going in to wake him up to break the pattern. The thing is that half the time it's almost impossible to rouse him, he's in such a deep sleep, and more recently, us opening the door and going into his room to wake him has sparked off a night terror. Does anyone have any advice? I guess we should go in a bit earlier, but does it really work? I read on the Dr Sears website that if you wake them up fully for 5 mins at the same time for a week that it cures 90% of children's night terrors. Has anyone tried this and did it work for you? It makes our evenings a bit stressful as we're just listening out for his whimpers, and it also means that we don't want to go out, as we don't like the thought of leaving him to a baby sitter when he's going through this. Nothing has changed in our daily lives to unsettle him, and he's a very happy confident chappy during the day. He also has a very established bedtime routine, goes to bed at about 7.45 and sleeps til 8 in the morning.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

I still have night terrors as an adult and both my kids have had a few - usually coincides with a lot going on in the day eg Christmas excitement, or as you say, illness. I'd be really careful about what time you are going in to wake him if you use that strategy, as, as you say, you actually might be triggering them. I rarely have them now but the times I usually have them is when my husband's come to bed, say an hour later than me and it seems to disturb my sleep pattern. You might just have to ride it out. When my kids have them, I just go in, sit them out of bed and cuddle them close and wait for it subside, calmly repeating "you're ok now". After a few minutes they suddenly just relax and more often than not crawl off back under their covers. I can't remember the statistic but the vast, vast majority of kids grow out of it on their own.

My son has then, regularly but not all the time. Usually, after a run of not being in bed on time, not well, under pressure.
The thing that worked for me was advice from another parent: when I see him having one, I put on kids TV in my room and sit him on the sofa there, sound down low, keep him warm. After 10-15 minutes, he is able to go back to bed, and fall asleep. He usually doesn't remember it in the morning, so I dont know if he ever wakes, but it does calm him.

My son had them for a while, approx once a month between ages of 5-6. Always happened in the evening and usually about 2 hours after going to bed. Horrible to watch and exactly as you describe lucylookout. We just sit him on the edge of the bed, cuddle him and say sshh, it's OK, it's just a bad dream, look, you are safe, you are in your bedroom at home and mummy and daddy are here with you He suddenly seems to "come too" and then crashes back to sleep again with no memory in the morning. He's nearly seven now and hasn't had one for a few months.

I haven't found a cure lucy. My DD (5) had had them since she was 3 yo. She gets them when ill. In fact that's how I know she's about to be ill - she'll start to get them a couple of days before and they last for about a week after the illness has gone. I do sometimes carry her downstairs and put children's tv on while she's screaming, like Wannabe does. It probably doesn't make any difference to DD but makes me feel in control and less alarmed! She can usually be put back into bed after half an hour or so. Hope your DS is on the mend soon.

Thanks for all your advice. They do seem to be quite common, especially in young children. I never had them, DH thinks he might have had quite bad nightmares (different thing I know) but his Mum had quite a lot of children so individual details are a bit sketchy! The thing that is really getting to me at the moment is that they're nightly. We're going to go in to wake him a little earlier tonight (9.30) to make sure we don't spark one off and keep our fingers crossed that it works tonight.

I have had experience of this with my child, too - although, thankfully, not for a long time now.

Like others have said, they were a lot mre likely when he seemed "oever-tired", so we tried to ensure he always went to bed on time, especially after a long/exciting day.

What I found worked was to accept the dream was very real; when it was happening and to sort of "join in". I know that sounds weird, but, for example, if he was shouting about monsters I would say "you're safe, they've gone now" rather than trying to say they were never there in the first place, if you see what I mean. This had an almost instantaneous calming effect on my child and so I think it is at least worth a try.

No advice, I'm afraid but just wanted to show support. My ds2 had them from about 2 1/2 for about 3 years. Sometimes on a nightly basis, sometimes he would be fine for a few weeks. We never really found a trigger. He now has maybe one or two a year ( age 7 1/2).
I think the worse thing about them is that we felt so helpless as he didn't want us to comfort him or even be touched.
The good news is, they do seem to pretty much grow out of them.

I so agree with you bradbourne about 'joining'

My DS had night terrors of a sort (there were complications...) and we would not try and talk him out of it but reassure etc.

The other thing I learnt was that if I could get to him early and 'head them off at the pass' it was better. I was able to predict that they would start within a certain time of him going to bed and by being hyper vigilant during that time I could get upstairs to his room to soothe him before it all got too extreme - I appreciate that this isn't always an option tho!

yes, ds still has them from time to time, usually like others say within a few hours of going to sleep and when he is unwell in some way, usually a temperature.

youve probably done this but can you be ultra careful to give doses of paracetamol and ibufrofen before bed when he has a temp and also remove some covers as soon as asleep.

yes yes yes - the least traumatic way to deal with it is to "join in", trying to tell ds it wasnt real or to wake up would send him into an absolute screaming petrified state. More like as other poster says, go away monsters, youre not allowed in here, go away I told you (said crossly and a bit loud as if its real), followed by, there there ds, I told them to go and theyve gone now - theyd come back and we would have to repeat, but it would all be over more quickly with less of the really horrendous levels of fear

My son was having similar problems. I spoke to my sister about it and she told me that kissing her daughter on the eyes - to keep away monsters - before she went to sleep worked for her.
I was very sceptical but thought it was worth giving it a go.
I talked it over with DS and explained what my sister had said. Every night before he goes to sleep I now kiss him on each eye and tell him to have sweet dreams. He has slept well since! Not sure how it works but it does for us.