21 month old DD behavioural shift at home after nursery! Advice please!

[MissQ]

Hello - please be gentle with me, this is my first post!!

I've been bringing up DD at home for her first 21 months and she's just had her first days at Nursery as we think she needs it (development wise) and it gives me a much needed break before DD2 comes next month!

She attends Thurs and Fri mornings and the feedback is that she's getting on fine (a few tears here and there) but she's playing and reading and generally in good spirits.

The problem is when she gets home.

Normally she is an absolute darling come bed time and nap time, going to the bottom of the stairs after In The Night Garden or her lunch, and she loves getting in her bed snuggling up with teddies, lights out no problem...

...but now she's literally bursting into a massive, hysterical, inconsolable tantrum that often includes high pitch screeching and gurning faces. (It would be funny if it wasn't so bloody out of character!)

She seems to do this before knowing she's due to go to bed and after she's woken up.

I've got my own arm-chair psychologist theory involving the whole sense of 'abandonment' aspect but wanted to reach out to other mums to see if there's any other guidance or experiences out there that may help me sleep a little more easily!

Help?!

hi there, this sounds very much like my DD (16 months) and she started this when I went back to work. She is absolutely fine in nurser and looks happy when we pick her up, but at home often loses it and screams and cries inconsolably. I think a lot of it has to do with being overtired and overstimulated. They are probably fine and happy but at that age it is just a long day and there is so much going on, and I think the screaming is just an expression of how it's all too much and all they want is peace and quiet and mummy.

What I try now is to pick her up and try to put her to bed as quickly as possible, basically come home, dim the lights, take her on my lap, start reading good night stories etc..

At the beginning it scared me a lot and I was very worried and didn't believe she was fine at the nursery, but I have now seen that she is actually fine and happy there and is just simply too tired and exhausted by the end of the day and needs minimal further action. Hope that helps!

Agree re overtired above, my 19month old did same tonight happy as larry at nursery then 2 hours of screaming at home.

Was shattered and went straight to sleep on being put down. think nursery is stimulating and continuous info that they just seem to flop afterwards- like having a really hectic day at work and then just wanting to be left alone.

My dd is 2 and has been going to nursery for a year and still does this. I think it's overstimulation. I tend to leave her to get it out of her system then offer a cuddle.

Thanks so much for your kind replies ladies.

I'm going to monitor the situation and keep an eye on the whole over-tired/over-stimulated reasoning.

Thanks!

DS is only 11 months and also does this when he gets home from nursery. He has only been going 3 weeks but there is already a pattern. He is also pretty grumpy on his first day at home with me after 3 days at nursery in a row. It can range from stiffening into a board and refusing to go into the buggy, seeming cross at everything to being hyper and wanting to pull my hair and glasses and pawing at my face. I realise he's tired but after we pick him up there's an hour and a half before bath time and it feels like a very long period to fill. I have been putting Baby TV on as it's the only thing he seems to feel like doing.