How common is it for a 3 and a half year old to dislike change?

[MrsBradleyCooper]

I have come back from collecting ds at preschool today and had a bit of a cry.

After a few episodes where he has got very upset, they say that they have worked out that he "doesn't like change".

These episodes have included the Nativity play, Father Christmas coming to the school and the Chinese New Year celebrations.

I am now concerned that they are hinting at the fact that he may need assessing or something. Would they hint, or would they come right out and say?

I don't know much about this as he is an only child so I don't have any other children to compare him to.

At his pre-school review in the Autumn they said that they had no concerns with him, but to give him lots of encouragement with things to improve his confidence. (I do find at home that he gets very upset when trying something new, but once he has done it, he is fine). I haven't spoken to them officially since then, so I don't know if their opinion on him has changed.

I also took him to the GP last week as he seemed to be tired a lot and getting very upset at minor things. She said that his tonsils are very big and that his adenoids probably are too, which may be causing him to have disturbed sleep.
She said that as long as there is not major disruption to his life, that there was no cause for concern.

I suppose I just feel a bit confused as to whether I need to do anything, and also sad at the fact that he might be different from all his friends.

Any advice much appreciated .

I have a 3yo who is similar sounding. He went through a particularly difficult stage where he didn't even want to leave the house because he was happy doing what he was doing, and didn't seem to want to change that.

I don't feel that there is anything wrong with my Ds, it's just him, and think each phase will pass. He isn't particularly bothered by routine, and he doesn't seem bothered about going out now.

What I would say though is you should clarify with nursery, if only to put your mind at rest. But perhaps ask to have a chat at a specific time rather than at a rushed pick up/ drop off, so you can ask directly and have all your questions ready. I'm sure they will be able to answer your questions and reassure you or advise you. They have seen hundreds of children.

Hope all goes well.

3.5 year olds are very complicated little souls :)

I wouldn't say DD1 hated change, in fact she likes it, but expectation management is very important for her.

Getting upset and frustrated when trying something new she hasn't mastered yet? Check!

I've also been surprised by how tiring she seems to find nursery school. It's only 2.5 hours a day, but she is definitely more cranky and difficult on weeks when it's on. She was like a different child at Christmas.

Thank you for your replies.

I've been thinking about it, and although they say at preschool that he doesn't like change, to me it's more like he doesn't like change if he is really enjoying what he is doing!

I think he just wants to go to preschool and play, rather than dress up and take part in things. However it is really worrying me that he starts school in September and i just do not know how he will cope with the structure and independence that he is expected to have .

I agree with the tiredness thing though definitely!

Hmmm. I'm in my 40's and don't like change!
I don't think it's at all unusual. It's difficult for little ones, especially when we as adults understand completely why things are happening, but our 3/4/9! yr olds get a bit left behind.
Some very good ideas up thread

School is 7 months away - he'll be so much more grown up by then :)

DD1 also gets really into her games and doesn't want to stop them because it's time for X.

my DS is a bit like this - and was very similar at that age -especially if he wasn't warned about - I wouldn't worry about school - reception year is very similar to pre-school in many ways