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4 year old turning into a bully?

1 reply

annab1 · 31/01/2012 15:25

My 4 year old has always been to quite emotional, sensitive and reactionary, we have had to deal with a lot of hitting and pushing since he was about 2.5.
Lately i thought he had been really good and thought we had finally gotten through to him however today his nursery teacher told me he has been hitting and disrupting smaller children in his class.
He is on the whole seemingly very happy, has lots of friends and is very caring towards them, but as soon as things dont go his way he hits.
This hitting of smaller children is new and I am terrified that he is turning into a bully.
We do not hit him at all, his main punishments are being sent to his room, no tv and removal of toys for a period of time.
We have talked and talked to him about hitting and hurting other children, how they wont want to be his friend, that it hurts them, makes them and mummy and daddy sad etc etc.
If he hit children in the park he would get a warning then i would take him home if he did it again, same at friends houses.
Im not sure what else to do?
When i asked him about the hitting at nursery he said he doesnt know why he does it, this seems to be his main answer to questions about bad behaviour.
He is naturally quite bright and his teachers have said he is academically quite advanced so it is not a lack of comprehending or understanding on his part.
I have made an appointment to go and see his teachers and ordred him some new story books about hitting, bullying etc but apart from that
I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do next...

OP posts:
HeartOfArse · 31/01/2012 15:29

First of all, he is not a bully. He is only 4 yrs old! He obviously has some frustration inside and an inability to express his emotions constructively, which is not uncommon at this age. The hitting smaller children thing isnt bullying in this age group - its being pragmatic!

I think the story books are a great idea. I also think a thorough meeting with his teacher is needed. You could also ask the SENCo to come along and have some input? She or he should be used to putting strategies in place for this sort of thing.

You could also ask if the local authority has an Educational Psychologist who could come and spend soem time with your son and observe his behaviours. It can be very helpful to get some good professional inout.

Good luck.

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