Baby Led Weaning ok at first... but now how do I get him to use a spoon???

[islandbaby]

So DS is 13 months. We had great success using BLW from 6 months, and I'm very happy to never have had to puree him anything (bOring), and only spoon-fed him a few times.

But now, much to my anti-BLW mother's great delight, I'm having trouble making the transition to him being able to feed himself with a spoon (and in the future a fork).

You see, I was living somewhere where you couldn't buy yoghurts or rice puddings that weren't full of sugar, and I've always made porridge into finger foodable pancakes. But now I'm back in the UK, I'd like him to be able to eat those things, and soups and stews etc...

Also, we were never bowl users - just finger foods and meals cut into fist sized portions dumped on to the tray.

So now, presented with a bowl and a spoon the bowl is immediately upturned and the spoon is treated with absolute distrust.

Any tips to make this transition? Should he be able to sit and eat from a bowl with a spoon by now? Am I ever going to hear the end of it from my mother about how it's all because of my new fangled feeding approach???? Should I be right to be starting to regret being such a smug BLWer?

help!

Have you tried giving him a pre-loaded spoon?
Although I would also add that I don't think it matters if at 13m he's not overly interested in cutlery. Keep offering and when he's ready he'll have a go, just keep the floor covered in the meantime!

Tipping the bowl upside down is pretty normal. Distrusting the spoon means he hasn't learnt how to flick his food, yet. Show him how to use the spoon to decorate your walls with yoghurt and he will soon get the hang of it.

ps does he eat with you and see what you do with your knives, spoons, plates and forks?

I'd plonk some rice or mash on his tray, stick some spoons and forks in and leave him to it. He'll soon get the hang of it. The bowl tipping phase is very normal.

Or you can sit him on your lap, have a nice heavy bowl with stuff in, and eat from it together - modelling the behaviour is a great way to show them that its the way to go

My BLW DS is 3 and still prefers to use his hands to eat, I just encourage him to use fork and spoon but don't make a big deal of it, generally he does. At 13mo I would give him a spoon but let him use his hands, if you can't get away with eating with your hands at 13mo, when can you!?!

I think he's still very young, and also you wouldn't want the battle now of a baby who only eats mush and no solids, so well done on the BLW! Do you eat with him? It'd be handy if he could copy you. My DD has just decided she wants to use a spoon at nearly 12 months, but my God, it's messy. It's like she's got the will but the motor skills aren't quite there yet. She's so stubborn though that she absolutely refused mush (unless it was sweet) from about 8 months, so I suppose it's happened naturally. Why not try him with something sweet like a pot of fromage frais with a spoon? If he wants it badly enough he'll have to work it out. Just a thought...

The bones in their wrists don't harden til around 18 months so its hard for them to have too much control before then. We had the same problem as my son was a spoon refuser. I just kept offering preloaded spoons and left the spoon around the plate with food on.

After a few goes he got the message and will now take the spoon from my hand and also lift it from the plate with food on. I won't say he's especially good at getting it all in his mouth but he's only 16 months so plenty of time to learn.

I agree about modelling behaviour. They love to copy.

I really wouldn't worry about a spoon yet. It is entirely possible to eat stew (and even soup, I've seen it!) with your fingers.

My 2.7 year old is still working on his spoon/fork ability although he is getting a little better every day!

Do you eat with him - at the same time? Mine has only just got the hang of spoon and fork at 18 months (both simultaneously), and it started with him seeing us using fork/spoon and him trying to copy.

He had a habit of holding his cutlery very delicately, rather than in a fist because of this, and I found that what helped him the most was to sit next to him, on the side he was holding the spoon/fork in, and help guide the spoon/fork into the food and then into his mouth with my hand on the very end of it. If I grabbed it anywhere else then he couldn't see what he was doing and got very miffed.

Cubed cheese was good for fork practise, porridge was the first thing he was eating fairly cleanly with a spoon (good stickiness)..

It's taken a good six months for him to get competent though..

Oh Pascha - that makes sense - mine was having real trouble keeping a spoon steady enough to get it in without tipping it all over himself until recently, when he's suddenly taken a leap forward - I figured it was getting the muscles used to the action, but if the bones weren't quite there either that explains why it took so long for it to work for him.

fork first, then spoon. and a good wee sharp one, either metal or one of the plastic ones from ikea, a pound for a bag.

Yes I spear food with a fork and hand it to him. He does by preference use his hands for everything though

oh, using a fork first is a great idea for getting him used to holding on to cutlery and bringing it to his mouth. I was thinking I'd just leave the fork to way down the line.

I wish we ate together more often. He usually has breakfast with us, but although I'll cook him a hot meal from scratch for his own lunch I'll rarely eat anything more than a piece of fruit or some cheese on biscuits myself. Then he's in bed before I'm ready to relax and eat my main meal, although I'll usually eat a snack with him. I guess this is just something I'll have to try and change.

It's good to know that he's quite alright not to be eating alone like that yet. We'll just keep practising. And I'll just keep cleaning up the floor!

Thanks

Definitely eat right next to him, using the same cutlery that you want him to use if you can.

Am interested that Aitch says a fork first, rather than a spoon. Is that because the initial reward is greater (e.g. it's easier for a baby to spear food and keep it there with a fork than a spoon)?

My 13 mo is deeply irritated by spoons of yoghurt, etc, coming his way. I give him the loaded spoon - and he just waves it about until the food slides off onto his head, and then refuses to relinquish it. Extra spoons are approriated from me and hoarded somewhere in the depths of his Antilop. I did let him have my fork the other day though, and was impressed to see him immediately try to spear food with it - maybe I'll just give him one of DS1's forks.

DS1, on the other hand - nearly 4, was also BLW and now will NOT use cutlery apart from for ice cream or yoghurt. Grrr.

You can get bowls that stick down with a sucker. DS had one of those til about 15/16mo when he stopped wanting to turn it over.

He is BLW but we have always put a baby spoon with his food and he started to use it spontaneously (badly) at about 14mo. He is now quite competent with it at 17mo for things that are reasonably thick or sticky. Nowhere near dealing with peas and the like unless they are in quite a thick sauce.

We didn't have to 'teach' him at all though IYSWIM- just provided the equipment and example.

If you have a poundland near you they do a fab cutlery set. It has a knife, fork and spoon in it so when I lay the table my DD gets a full set too, which she loves.

Otherwise, don't worry about it, using cutlery will come in time. My 20 month old is pretty good with a spoon and fork now, she was a spoon refuser and fully BLW (much to DM and DMIL's horror, they were convinced she'd be gnawing on bones until she was 30!!)

Also to get fromage frais into her, try frubes, they are loads easier when you are out too.

DD (23mo) likes to hold her fork or spoon in her right hand and shovels food into her mouth with her left hand. The fork or spoon is usually held aloft as though ready to stab anyone who dares to venture near her dinner.

This goes for 'solid' food, or more liquid food such as yoghurt.