Tic in 3 year old just started - hubby wants to tell her off to stop it!

[ticworry]

Hi there,

My 3 year old has just started excessive blinking over the weekend. We have just moved and I know she has been under quite a lot of stress. She has been really uptight over the last few weeks and I am convinced it is all related.

My husband says we need to stop it right now before it develops into a tic. He wants to draw her attention to it and tell her to stop and punish her very gently if she doesn't. I am thinking this will only draw her attention to it and make matters worse. But then I kind of agree that it is scary and we need to stop it on day two before we have a more permanent problem. Does anyone have any experience or thoughts on this? It kind of feels like a race against time as she has literally only being doing it for 3 days (but a lot).

Many thanks.

Could it be a medical problem?
If not, I agree with you that drawing attention to it might make it worse.

DS had one - a sign of being stressed (his routine was way out for a while) - DO NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO IT. Back to his normal routine, it went of its own accord and is forgotten. If they get stressed about the tic, it adds to their stress and it's self perpetuating.

It sounds as if it is due to stress, and it may take longer than a few days to resolve.

I am a bit about your DH's attitude TBH. She is only 3 and has been under a lot of stress. Quite how drawing attention to it, and punishing her (even gently) is going to reduce her stress is not immediately obvious.

It is not a race against time. It needs to be handled sensitively and kindly, with a bit of understanding of the needs of small children.

if she could help it she wouldn't do it

so punishing a child for something they can't help is really bloody stupid

interestingly ds2 (who is just 4) was doing this a while back and i took him to the doctor because i thought something was irritating his eyes. she said it's really, really common in children around that age for some reason.
he did it for quite a while though tbh, maybe a month or more.
but it has stopped now. we didn't do anything, didn't even mention it to him really other than asking if his eyes felt ok

My dd had a tic (opening her eyes really wide) for a while when she was highly stressed and anxious at school.It gradually went away as she calmed down,I think they are fairly common in small children and usually resolve over time.

You must, must ignore it.

I developed exactly this tic at three years old; it went as quickly as it came. My mum says it lasted about six months.

It sounds like it's very common.

If you punish her for it, you are likely to make her so nervous that she may actually develop a permanent tic as a response.

Please ignore it. I learned I had had a blinking tic around the same age, which was duly ignored. It went and I had no clue til my mum told me (when I was about 18)I was mortified, but relieved they had completely blanked it and it had gone away as a result. I would be a twitching mess by now if they'd alerted me / punished for it. Cripes.

Ignore it - she will stop doing it in a few weeks/months. MyDD did exactly the same, and it stopped eventually.

am that your DH is thinking of punishing her for it - seriously, do NOT make a big thing of it and punish her

Found this

www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/childrenshealth/202829.htm

Thanks everyone. She was slightly better today - only did the blinking a few times. I am wondering if she has suddenly realised she can blink as when I subtly mentioned it her (very subtly) she smiled and went running off to look in the mirror. But she is definitely very stressed at the moment and is flying off the handle at tiny things. I have given her lots and lots of cuddles and one-to-one time today which seems to have helped. The only problem is that dh is still saying that he wants to leave it a couple of days and if she is still doing it he wants to tell her to stop each time he sees it. He has compared it to a bad habit like biting nails, picking noses, and says we need to stop her doing it before it really does become a habit. She has only started doing it in the last few days and dh thinks we need to tell her to stop as she is obviously doing it on purpose at the moment. For example, she was doing it a bit this morning and then said "I'll stop blinking now". So I don't really know what to do for the best.

Yes its very tricky.I hated my dd doing it,probably because it made her look so anxious and I was worrying about her all the time anyway.She has had the occasional tic-y type thing return when she is anxious,so I suspect is slightly prone to them,and dd2 (4) had a little twitchy tic a few weeks ago-again when stressed at school. I am always torn between asking them to stop and ignoring.I sympathise.Your Dd is so small that I think the ignoring route is probably the best though.She has probably just become conscious of the blinking sensation and is trying it out.

Hi there,

Just wanted to give you an update. After blinking constantly since Saturday, my little girl hardly did it all today. At one point in the morning she came in to me and said "mummy, look" and started blinking really hard for about two whole minutes. She was really chuffed with herself. So perhaps she has simply discovered how to blink! Having said that, I did notice that after her bath tonight she was doing it again a little. She was tired so I am not sure why this made the difference. Will see what happens tomorrow. Have been giving her lots and lots of cuddles and reassurance and it seems to be doing the trick. Thanks everyone!