Is it just attention seeking any ideas?

[Willow14]

Hi

I have two children both boys 7 and 9 years old.

My eldest son is a very bright and lovely boy, very socialable with lots of friends but his attention seeking is beginning to worry me he will make noises or ask constant questions when the attention is not toally focused on him, we have tried answering him and ignoring him as well as telling him he doesn't need to constantly have all the attention and that we still love him just as much. He likes to make everyone laugh including his friends but sometimes I feel he is the joker simply to get people to pay him attention and like him? He is very quick to cry if he doesn't get his own way and can be very timid in certain situations.

I split with their father in 2007 and since then had a relationship with a guy who turned out to not be a very nice piece of work (he was fine with the children just shouty!). Having split from him in December 2010, I found out from my son that he didn't like him and hadn't told me.

Now I am not sure whether at this point I lavished too much attention on to him and now he is expecting more or whether its something else. I do try and please my children as much as I can and obviously like them to be happy (who doesn't) but I still discipline them and they don't get away with murder.

I am in another relationship now and have been for 6 months, this guy is lovely and the children love him and his son very much.

I don't know whether my relationships are relevant or whether it could be some thing more medical?

Does anybody have any ideas?

Thanks

Since he is 9 I think he's old enough for you to sit down with him and have a chat about it. Just say that you notice he interrupts people a lot and that you're worried he might get into trouble for it. Ask him if he realises that he does it, and if there might be a reason for it. If he isn't very forthcoming then it might be worth asking him how he's feeling generally. It does sound like he's had a fair bit of upheaval in the last few years of his life. He might be feeling quite insecure and the constant talking and joking might be his way of hiding his true feelings. The fact that he didn't tell you he didn't like your previous boyfriend suggests to me that he doesn't feel able to talk very openly with you at the moment, so opening the way for an honest conversation might help a lot.

I have already spoken with him and said to thim that he doesn't need to constantly strive for others attention, but he just seems to listen for that moment and 5 mins later its forgotten and he's starting again!?