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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

comfort object needs to go, but so hard!

13 replies

MWestie · 30/01/2012 14:47

Does anyone have any experience of this? My DS has an old t-shirt he uses as his comfort object/blanket. He cuddles it to go to sleep, which I have no problems about at all and if it was just this then he could have it as long as he wanted to.

The problem is he sucks and pulls at his teeth with it, and his top teeth are starting to look a bit crooked to me. He can't just have it in bed with him, he always has it in his mouth.

Last night I explained to him that he couldn't have it anymore because it was damaging his teeth. Poor wee man, he was so upset. I feel I'm being cruel taking a much-loved comforter away that he is so attached to, but I think it's so bad for his teeth it has to stop.

Does anyone have any experiences about this? He's 4.5 by the way. Am dreading bedtime tonight :(

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LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 30/01/2012 14:53

Let him have it! Chances are that his teeth look crooked because they are about to fall, unless he is incredibly early and already has is front adult teeth.

naturalbaby · 30/01/2012 14:58

I would get some advice from a dentist about his teeth before putting him through the trauma of taking away a comfort item. My ds was bad when I got rid of the dummy but he still had a comforter. You may find a dentist says he teeth are not affected by the comforter at all then it's not a problem.

Either way if you want to get rid of it then you need to find some sort of substitute - either a reward or a replacement. What about a 'friend' (soft toy animal/creature) to help look after him in bed? You need to talk to him a lot about why you are doing it to help him understand and try to persuade him to want to do it.

Original poster

MWestie · 30/01/2012 14:59

No adult teeth, still has all his baby ones. It just came to a head at the weekend when he said to me that his teeth hurt when he pulled them with his t-shirt, and it looked so wonky and felt wobbly. Aaaargh, don't know what to do. I had to wear a brace as a child and was horrible, would hate him to end up needing one too, especially if could prevent it.

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ClumsyClogs · 30/01/2012 15:02

Can't you tel him to stop biting and pulling with his teeth?
I'm not sure about taking it away from him, after my recent experience with DS's dummy (he's 3.5)
He was very attached to it but I gave in to pressure from friends and family and decided to take it away. I explained that a fairy will come and take it to give it to the small tiny babies who cry a lot and really need it.
Poor little DS didn't comment and didn't ask for it once it was gone, but couldn't settle to sleep. He is really really suffering, is miserable at bed time and started fighting sleep. Three weeks on, last night I had to walk around rocking him to sleep (which I haven't done since he was a few months old!) that's how much he needed comforting. Now I wish I let him finish with the dummy in his own time :(

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 30/01/2012 15:05

MWesti stop panicking, if it is hurting he will stop pulling!
DD1 had wonky teeth for a year before they fall, it is quite normal and she had never suck or pull at anything.
The roots of is baby teeth are being dissolved and pushed by the adult teeth behind. He is just about to loose them.
Go to a dentist if you are still worried.

I wouldn't take is comforter away if I were you, but if you insist to do so, at least offer some kind of replacement. At 4.5 he will soon let it go on its own.

AlmaMartyr · 30/01/2012 15:50

I'd get advice from a dentist before taking it away, it sounds like they might just be loose.

Original poster

MWestie · 30/01/2012 16:28

Thank you all for your comments, much appreciated. I will definitely get the dentist to check him out and if all seems okay he can definitely have it back. I will have another talk with DS about it. He does understand why he shouldn't pull at his teeth, I think he just does it subconsciously.

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DorisVinyard · 30/01/2012 17:09

My daughter was exactly the same as your son. I explained to her that she was a big girl now (was about 3) and big girls didn't put their chewies in their mouths. She miraculously stopped almost immediately but still has them in bed with her. She's 14 now.

Original poster

MWestie · 30/01/2012 18:07

Thank you Doris Vinyard, I'd be delighted if DS could manage that!

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HooverTheHamaBeads · 31/01/2012 21:36

Ask your dentist for advice. I am about to do the same for my DD aged 5 who has a passionate love affair with sucking her thumb. I will make her comforter 'disappear' if I have to to prevent her wrecking her adult teeth.

CountessOlenska · 31/01/2012 21:39

Agree with others. Could you give it back to him whilst waiting to speak to dentist? He is still very young, and a while longer won't make much difference.

pranma · 31/01/2012 22:06

Hoover-how do you make a thumb 'disappear'?My dgs sucks his thumb all the time[2.11]and I am worried about his teeth.
Re t-shirt I think I'd let him keep it for now but talk about how he wont need to chew it when he is a big boy but he can always keep it ib bed.Just a thought-how about dressing a teddy in the t-shirt then he wouldnt be able to get it in his mouth so easily.

Original poster

MWestie · 31/01/2012 22:32

Thanks again all. He has his comforter back, will see the dentist to talk about its impact and have had chat with DS about trying not to pull at his teeth with it. Easier said than done!

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