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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

10 year old DS so angry about everything.

15 replies

mckenzie · 29/01/2012 09:14

Does anyone else have this issue with their year 6 child? DS seems to get angry, and sometimes so angry he looks like he'll explode. His face contorts, he goes bright red, his fists are in tight balls.....
Is this normal for this age group maybe?

Tia.

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Sparklingbrook · 29/01/2012 09:16

Sounds very familiar. DS (10) seems to get very cross about stuff very quickly. It's a bit like the toddler years again. He's all defiant too. Don't remember DS1 being quite this cross at that age. I am hoping it will pass......

Original poster

mckenzie · 29/01/2012 09:57

Thanks for replying sb. I take some comfort from knowing it's not just our DS. Have you come up with any techniques for dealing with it or are you just ignoring? DS's anger is aimed at younger DD quite often so I can't ignore it.

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Sparklingbrook · 29/01/2012 10:02

I do try and ignore a lot of it. I feel that I don't want to acknowledge it and therefore fuel it IYSWIM. He has an older brother so that's probably a bit easier. He gets cross if I ask him to do stuff. Bans on PS3/DS if it gets to that stage and rewards for having a day when he doesn't get all cross.

I am not too worried, we have some very nice times inbetween the angry bits, he is doing well at school (plus he's not at all angry there).

ragged · 29/01/2012 10:24

Is he happy in other areas of life?
We had a lot of anger issues with DS when he was being picked on lots at school.

Bossybritches22 · 29/01/2012 10:44

Quite often children of this age are having little pre-puberty surges of hormones as their bodies prepare for full puberty later.

Does he realise he is being unreasonable at times? Could you ask him what he feels like doing when he has a red rage ( lashing out, being destructive) but then discuss a more positive way of unleashing that anger?

Punching a pillow or punch bag really hard is a good one.

If his anger is directed at his younger sibling could you give him some one to one with you or his Dad at times to keep them apart?

Younger sisters can be SO annoying to an older brother, just because they are!

Sorry not much help as I only have girls, but I had 2 younger brothers and they were the same!

Original poster

mckenzie · 29/01/2012 22:14

thanks very much for the replies. He has had some issues at school (being bullied) but the school have been on top of it as have we but I think this started before then. We do talk about that issue regularly but never in connection with his anger. I will do that tomorrow.
He does have one to one time with dad at the weekends (football) and with me on a friday night when DD is out but not much more than that. I seem to spend my time with him either asking him to eat up/tidy his room/do his homework/clean his teeth etc. I must admit, i can't remember the last time just he and I had some fun together, just the two of us . That will be at the top of my 'to do' list as of now! Thank you.

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Sparklingbrook · 29/01/2012 22:28

Good luck mckenzie. Dig some of the board games out-DS loves them but we don't play them much.

MrsCornish · 29/01/2012 22:32

Sounds exactly like my DS in yr 6. He's in yr 7 now and life has improved beyond recognition. I wonder if yr 6 actually is as stressful as they say - i was sceptical when the teachers said it was but maybe they were right!

He has always found life drives him mad, he's been constantly fighting everything since he was a tot, but at last we have some lovely times too!

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 29/01/2012 22:37

You could be taking about my DS. He gets really angry with me, not so much his dad. I thought he was stressed as he gets his 11+ results next weekend (did exams in October so a long time to wait) and we've been to a few open days recently so big school very much on his mind.

It's quite erratic though, so ive put it down to hormones. I can only hope this is not a sign of times to come!

Bossybritches22 · 29/01/2012 22:50

i think it's a mixture of hormones, plus slight anxiety about moving schools mixed with excitement at the new challenges.

It's a big shift and the do a lot of growing up in Y6 I think with constant reminders that life is about to change, it can be confusing for them.

Both mine coasted through Y6 once the 11+ was over but did loads of preparation stuff for Y7, visits, leavers plays, open days etc so by the time they actually went they were ready for it.

Original poster

mckenzie · 30/01/2012 08:18

Thanks guys. We don't have the school excuse for the anger as DS stays where he is until end of year 8. I will make a real effort tonight. DD has a friend over so they'll entertain themselves and I can chill with DS. Looks like it will be a thrashing at Monolopy for me then!

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Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2012 08:25

That's great Mckenzie. Me and my angry DS have decided to go for a run round the block every day after school. Get rid of some energy for him and it won't do me any harm either.

Original poster

mckenzie · 30/01/2012 08:27

I've suggested that lots of times SB. Unfortunately, he's a tad lazy. I'm sure he'd enjoy it once he got out there but I can't convince him

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Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2012 12:47

My plan is that we run round the block and DH times us. Then we try and do it faster each time, to make it slightly more fun.

Original poster

mckenzie · 30/01/2012 14:20

Oh that DH was ever home in time to do that during the week! I might suggest that for tomorrow evening though. DD can time us and it will break up the homework slog (DS gets quite a lot on a Tuesday).

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