Falling asleep with newborn in arms/under crook of shoulder

[Oeisha]

So, my 5 day old is not breastfeeding yet (expressing and bottling), and isn't really in any routine so to speak of (we only got home yesterday).
I'm feeling terrible because twice lastnight I fell asleep whilst trying to calm her with some skin-to-skin. I was on my side with her under my arm/shoulder, arm supporting her body. She was asleep with her head between my rib cage and arm, sort of tucked up under my shoulder. She was propped up in the pillow, but it was free from her face, and she was fairly ridgidly face up due to being closely snuggled. We had a sheet over me, but not her. I def. didn't move and actually managed to get an hours sleep with her like this...but am aware this probably isn't at all safe.
I'm just super-paranoid this will keep happening until she's settled and I'm seriously worried that something might happen.
She has just fed very well, so hopefully this will resolve some of the constant touch-needing.
I can't however just let her yell and yell...but also can't not sleep myself! [consufed]
Any advice?

Google co-sleeping guidelines and set yourself up to do it properly. You're actually not far off it by the sounds of it, just need to do it deliberately, safely and confidently. The main problem with how it happened accidentally is that you didn't plan it and the proximity of the pillow. Otherwise, on your side with the baby near your armpit is a good co-sleeping position.

We happily co-sleep. Everybody gets good sleep.

We co sleep. It's lovely & we all sleep better. Defo google safe way to do it though.

Congratulations on your new arrival Oeisha.

What you're describing sounds very normal- esp. the bit about no routine!!

Co-sleeping is great as long as you follow certain guidelines - and it's much safer to co-sleep than fall asleep on a sofa.

Here is a good leaflet about caring for your baby at night and it includes some info about safe bedsharing.

One thing I would say is that you should keep your baby away from the pillows.

When women sleep with their babies they have an inbuilt instinct to protect them so don't worry about you rolling on her. Of course you want to settle your baby and she will find the closeness of skin to skin really lovely- and it will help to get the breastfeeding going too.

HTH

We co-sleep too. It's probably a lot more common than you think! This is a really good article that might help you decide.

And don't worry about routines, she is 5 days old! Routines can come later if you want them to. They're not compulsory though Congrats on your new DD.

Another co sleeper here. You might find the book 3 in a bed reassuring. My DS didn't take to swaddling so I used let him take a nap on me on my chest while I caught up with my telly

I co sleep with my ds but as the others say google the guidelines. He will never sleep unless genus touching me or at least can touch me if he wants. Only thing is i never have pillows on the bed I use a rolled up towel which my dr recommended I try as I was anxious - you get used to it. Hope you get some sleep

hey, my 7wk old is in bed with us now but for a few weeks i had to sleep on the sofa with her on my chest or like you describe and sometimes had to leave my boob in her mouth. I think if you are aware of the dangers and are not under the influence of anything drink or drugs etc its safe. you wouldn't put your baby at risk. do your own risk assessment and carry on. i think you will have a baby that feels secure. iM in 2 minds about routines. its impossible in the early weeks but i think you find your own rhythm in the end. depends if you want to do the same thing every day at the same time or have an adaptable baby that just slots in with your life. I've tried scheduled feeds and sleeps and it never works for us!!

Co-sleeping- it's the big secret that nobody likes to tell you about. But for most, it's the easiest way to get some sleep until they get a bit older and adopt the starfish position leaving you off the edge of the bed.

Agree with all the other's routines are impossible at this early stage so just go with the flow and don't put too much expectations on yourself or your baby. What you describe sounds very much like ideal conditions for co-sleeping but watch the pillows and get yourself a bed guard. I co-sleept for the first 6 months and it was a life saver, there's no way I could have coped with my non-sleeping baby otherwise. P.s. congratulations :)

DD now 11 weeks and been co-sleeping since birth - set yourself up safely (lots good advice on web on this) then you feel more relaxed about it. It was the only way we all got/get some sleep (have 3 older kids) and she just wouldn't go into her crib, just wanted mummy. She will now sleep in crib for a stretch some nights until 3am feed then in with me till morning. One thing I NEVER do is put babe between parents - DH sleeps on other side (crib is wedged firmly against other side of bed as 'bedguard' - beware of any gaps) or in another room. Oeisha - 5 days is sooo early for a routine - don't worry things will settle in time. Enjoy your baby. :)

DD often slept in the crock of my arm on the outer edge of our bed.
I'd just make sure the quilt wasn't over her face. Her head was way below my pillow.
Worried slightly she might fall out, but she never did.
(She's 10 and still falls out of her own double bed!)

Personally I think there is a lot of scaremongering around co sleeping. Surely humans evolved to co sleep.
Neither of my DDs would sleep with their rooms at 18°c either they were too cold.
Now days there are sleeping bags, but I just had blanket loosing wrigglers

Thanks guys!
A slightly harsher feeding regime overnight (no random suckling, only every 2h min and she's actually taking volume!) and she's slept brilliantly. Sometimes co-sleeping, sometimes in her cot! OMG I feel so much more human...
DH had about 10h sleep (he's got a horrid cold), so when we woke him up at 8 for cuddles he was convinced it must be 3am, as she hadn't woken him much!
I don't expect this success to last mind, but I'm glad it was a good night.

Oeisha- bear in mind at this early stage, night feeds are very important both for establishing your supply and for your DD's growth. Can you nap with her during the day to get some extra sleep too?

We are trying day napping, and she's dong brilliantly today, I just feel like there's so much to do! In fact she's just guzzled back 100ml and is now fast asleep.