5 month old not grasping toys

[mumtothreeeeeeeee]

Just starting to wonder whether I should be concerned about this. DS3 is 5 months old in a few days and still doesn't grasp his toys on his play gym or if I offer a toy to him. If I touch a toy on the back of his hand he will then grasp it and can hold it for a few mins- usually goes straight in his mouth etc. But he doesn't seem to have the motivation to grab things of his own accord . I remember DS1 studying his hands carefully etc. DS3 doesnt do this, he just chews them! He is a very coo-ey chatty baby, seems to call us from the other side of the room etc. If I show him a toy he seems to prefer to look at me rather than the toy. Hmm any thoughts anyone?

Mumtothree.. thankfully I've never had to experience PND. But when you suspect something isn't quite right with your lo, no matter how many other dcs you have, I think it's perfectly normal to feel emotional about it. I certainly know what it's like worrying about their development :( You desperately want them to be ok and not having to be faced with any extra challenges (though I've made my peace with the challenge we've been given). After all, life is challenging enough as it is, even whithout having anything extra on your plate. It's great that you're seeing a bit of improvement now! I'd love to know what the professionals (whoever you choose to go to) will say about your little man, so would be grateful for an update here or you could pm me! I'm sure he'll be just fine and is just taking things at his own pace!

My ds was prem but should be 5 months ( actual 7 ) he has only just started batting stuff . He will grab stuff now too but this has only just started. He wont pass from one hand to the other either . My ds had delayed visual maturation and very bad reflux so spent hours crying and his focus was poor until about 4 months actual so I don't think he could see much to grab . Is it possible he had this . It happens in term babies too . Try not to worry .. I see a physio every fortnight for a tight neck problem he has and she says it's not a problem . Just keep putting things in his hand and he will get the message .

Hi, I'm feeling really low today, not just about this issue with DS, just generally very low I think. I have got something on later that I need to prepare for so don't think I can deal with dr's today. I wish I could just go and address these worries. But tomorrow have cancelled everything so can devote the day to the dr's trip for ds and I. I will definitely update on here, thanks for posting. DH says he's not worried but frustrated (about ds). Still gut feeling is he's ok. He was doing proper giggling last night, so lovely :).

bish good to hear your ds is coming on well. You never know for sure but pretty sure my ds' sight is fine. He's always looking around for people when he hears them and tracks them around the room. Will also track toys, just no interest/ ability to touch them.

Just to add I'm not worried about passing things from hand to hand. I think DS1 did that at 7 plus months. That's late I know but he was batting toys at 8 weeks. That's why I worried about ds3 so much. Tbh he'll probably do the passing things before he even bats things. If I give him a toy in one hand, he'll generally bring his other hand towards it and hold it with both hands. Confused!

But my ds is the same age and has only just started batting toys .. Please don't worry . He sounds like he is doing everything else fine . My friends baby was batting toys at about 6 weeks and I have been worrying ever since . I'm sure it will come soon . Maybe there is more interesting stuff to look at in your house . It sounds like it .

Just to update- went to GP yesterday. He examined DS but didn't really say a lot other than he wasnt concerned at the moment. He was focussing more on me which I was not surprised by!
Anyway, DS is still not touching anything on his baby gym intentionally. I have noticed a good improvement when offering toys to him though. He has been grabbing them quite well without me prompting him with tapping his hand with the toy. He had one of those wrist toys on today and I could see him watching it and trying to work out how to get it with his other hand:).

I'm glad you had a better day today :)

It's so hard because I think there's nothing 'abnormal' about it - they all develop at different speeds and he has a lot of other things to look at, whereas a first child or even second generally has a much 'quieter' existence and is looking for stimulation - your DS3 has that on tap :)

That's great! I mean the improvement you've noticed, not so much your GP's response. Never mind, things seem to be happening, that's brilliant. And if at some point in the future you get worried again that the pace of his progress has gone down, maybe just bring it up with a hv instead. It's good to see a smiley in your post, too

Keep meaning to post to say thanks:). Yes Jokat I wasn't surprised by my GP's reaction at all. As for DS, I've started to get concerned again today:(. He still isn't really grabbing things under the play gym consistently, sometimes he will but a lot of the time he'll just stare at them and have a kick around. I think he's getting better when offered a toy and will sometimes grab his bottle (and now spoon) when feeding but his hands are still fisted a lot. Have put some different phrases into dr google tonight and am now managing to scare myself about CP, arrgghh!

Hi again,

Gosh the worry never goes does it! I don't remember worrying at all with DC1 - I miss the innocence.

Can you book an appointment with HV? My HV called for a follow up check. although I'm 80% ok, I still have niggling worries about DC3 and can't decide if its me and anxiety or really something. HV was going to come for a home visit to spend time with DC3 in situ. We've decided she'll come when DC3 is 1 year. Maybe your HV might be more reassuring/informative than your Doctor? They are more familiar with these sorts of developmental concerns.

None of mine have really enjoyed playgyms. I think because they have had reflux they prefer to sit up. Have you considered reflux or something digestive?

Oh kicking around is good. He's strengthening his back.

Sorry to hear youre worried about your dd. What concerns have you got? Yes, I can't decide whether I'm over thinking things or not. I remember ds2 taking ages to hold toys without dropping them after 2 secs. I remember being worried that ds1 wasn't reaching out for things when he was 6-7 months and then later on he wasn't putting his hands up to be picked up. Both are bright buttons now and top of their classes at school but little puddings as babies, quite passive. Well DS3 is also passive but seems even more behind with hands. Yes I was thinking of doing exactly as you say re the HV. I'd like her to come round and see DS at home but half term this week so not ideal.

As much as I'm worrying about DS3, I was a bit of a nightmare with DS1- I used to socialise with so many mums with same age babies, most of them girls!

What is his general muscle tone like? Is it just his hands that seem 'different' (in that they are clenched)?

To motivate him to reach out and grab you can try things that are a bit more exciting.
Space blankets are great because they are noisy and shiney and can get the laziest baby to move

Put it just out of reach (but not to far, you dont want to put him off) and scrunch away. Ramp up the excitment in your own actions and voice and lots of 'GOOD REACHING!' and clapping if he makes a movement.

Bubbles are also fab for getting babies to reach.

Before you blow say something like 'LOOK! Bubbles! Ready, steady, GO!'
You can catch a bubble on the wand and bring it too him to touch.

I wouldnt dismiss your worries because its always worth getting things checked out but it could well be you have a laid back little chap who needs a push

Hi, I don't really know what I'm looking for with muscle tone tbh but when examined by a paed at 4 weeks (re a feeding issue) he said he had great tone. He is not floppy OR overly stiff. He has held his head up well for ages, likes being in a supported sitting position, he will momentarily bear weight with his legs- not as strong as my other 2 with this. Yes, it's just the hands I'm concerned with. They are pretty clenched most of the time though it's easy to encourage him to open them. Thanks for the ideas, my other 2 have been too laid back to reach for stuff too. They were probably both 8 months plus. BUT they definitely played with toys on their baby gym. This baby has a sole purpose in life, to chew his hands or thumb! He will take a toy from me but it isn't played with very much, it's mouthed!

Mouthing is a very normal and desirable thing. If he is doing it a lot it may be that he prefers using his mouth to explore his environment rather than his hands.

If you havent noticed abnormal muscle tone I would say its pretty likely he doesnt have it. He is not your first so you would know if he was too stiff or too floppy.

Unless a baby has a clear issue it is really hard to tell at this age. I know its frustrating (been there) but not all the 'wait and see' stuff from GPs etc is fobbing you off. It really is about waiting and watching.

Keep you eye on him, encourage with lots of play and see how is in a couple of months.

I am not an expert on CP but I have not heard of it only being manifested in the hands alone. I could be wrong and am happy to be corrected of course. But I have never seen it or read about it.

If I really analysed what I was worried about, I guess its that I just want to see her 'Spirit' a bit more. She's slotted in so wonderfully that it worries me? Do I sound mad? I worry that she is too passive. But the HV has suggested that her character may just be more passive and observant but that she is developmentally (so far) completely fine.

I'm not going out to baby groups as much as with the other two so I'm out of touch with what other babies her age are doing. The contact I do have is mostly with a PFB younger cousin, who cries all the time and is very physical and advanced - but then his mum is quite hyper.

I seem to be worried about every stage - she didn't seem motivated to grab things at 5 months, just lay there dreamily - but by 7 months she was sitting up and then grabbing everything. But it was a very long 6 weeks in the interim. I can't drink a cup of coffee now without her grabbing it.

At 6 months she wasn't babbling - cue younger babbling cousin coming over. But now at nearly 8 months she is babbling, gently. I guess I'm waiting for a switch to flick so I take my foot off the gas. I NEVER worried with the other two. Well, maybe a bit but thank god our computer was so slow that I didn't really use the internet. Now, just like you - I seem to google worries into existence.

I think at 1 year I will have a better picture of what is going on with me/her.

Also, maybe your DS is a thumbsucker? Two of mine have been and committed the first 5 months of their lives to perfecting that art.

Hi , I just wanted to come back and add my ds is in his junperoo today and is grabbing everything , something his peers were doing months ago . They all do it in their own time

So sorry for not replying before. We have had a few days away at half term and myself and the older DC have been ill!

Daytoday- no you don't sound mad at all. I can completely understand your concerns but it does sound like you have a gorgeously chilled dd there. My older two have met very few milestones early so I'm used to 'waiting' but my new DS is just even more chilled. Were your older dc more spirited at this age?

Well, life has taken over here and have not had too much time to think about DS3. He is struggling so much with teething and the finger/ thumb/ fist/ muslin sucking continues apace! I am aware that I don't put him under his play gym that much as it upsets me if I see him not touching things. However i have seen him touching things nicely a few times- its almost as if he cant be bothered too much though. He likes taking toys off me and he was enjoying grabbing his brothers face earlier! He does still have clenched hands a lot but they are open more than they used to be. DH says he's not worried at all now but I guess I'm not entirely happy still. The jury is out!

Oh, he's waking up better go but just wanted to reply. Bish- that is lovely news about your DS :) well done

Sounds like he is moving on a bit . My ds was the same and I used to put those small links in each hand . It really helped always having something in his hand until he eventually got the gist of holding and reaching out for stuff

You need to give him the opportunity to do the things you are worried he's not doing, or he wont be able to do them :) Try tying some different things to the play gym, kitchen things are good - wooden spoon, spatula, measuring spoons etc - something different to his normal toys on there.

Yes point taken:) though in my defence I'm always offering him toys :). Anyway, he's playing nicely with his play gym as I speak but will not try to grab for things further out of reach. I remember DS2 not doing this for ages either so I'm kinda relaxing a bit more I think.

Hi mumofthreeeee
Do you mind me asking how this turned out, my little one is exactly I the sam and I'm starting to panic!

Hello mumtothreeeee, my baby who is just 5 months seem to have the same problem, his just not reaching for anything, even if I put it right in front of him, really worries me, just.wondering how your baby is now?