What to expect with a 4 years old in appreciating "personal space"??

[HappyHappyJoyJoyJoy]

I would like see what other mums or dads think of this scenario:

Went to see a Traditional Lion Dance with my young children at a museum . My 4 year old son has been to the same event previous year and enjoyed the whole loud percussion music and dance experience. This year the place was packed again, but he had a front row place to watch all the actions.

A man (age: late 50s or early 60s) kept looking back at my son during the show and I had no idea why. From my observation, my 4 year old was a bit unsettled at the beginning. He seemed to be a bit scared with his hands covering his ears but curious to watch the whole act. My husband was watching him too to make sure that he wouldn't jump out to the performers. I was holding my 1 year old at the time standing in the crowd. This was only enought space for me to move forward a little with my body right behind my son, brushing his hair and face with my free hand to make sure that he knew I was there. The music was rather loud at the time.

When the act is over, the man turned to my husband and said "at least you have taught your son how to kick!". I felt that sudden urge to defend my child. As he is a kind and loving little boy. He didn't mean to annoy or upset anyone. I was watching him. I didn't spot anything unusual happening. It is possible that he may have nudged the man a few times as he moved forward to get a glimpse of the action, other times he was sitting down on the floor peeping - I was certain that nothing was done intentionally to upset that man.

My husband's response was short "Sorry about that, he is a 4 year old boy!" as he sees no point talking to this man. I went up to this grumpy person and told him that he was only 4 years old, his response was "you should teach your child not to kick other people, hope you will teach the other one better!...teach him to be aware of personal space!" This did upset me :( even when I understood the intention was to aggravate me. Like some other parents of young children, I often wonder how am I actually doing with the whole parenting thing. Is my child really misbehaving? Is he old enough to appreciate the idea of personal space?

Good to get this out of my system. Would appreciate some tips from other parents who have experienced similar awkward moments?

What is the right thing to do or say?

I'm a bit confused - I think I would need to have been there to see where the man was in relation to where your son was and in what way he was kicking him? You said DS had a front row seat so it's not likely he was kicking the mans seat???

Try asking your DS is he knows why the man was cross maybe?

He might not be old enough to understand 'personal space' but he is old enough to know it's not nice to kick the back of someone seat or someone sitting in front of you, even if you are just waving your legs about and not actually trying to kick them... but he may not have been doing this anyway!!

Anyway, you sound like a thoughtful parent and I wouldn't worry about it anymore.

The right thing to do or say ... I wouldn't say what your DH said as that kind of thing winds me up 4 or not if he's kicking the back of my seat at the cinema he's being a pain in the arse! LOL I wouldn't be cross with the boy, but I would ask him not to do it, but if the Dad didn't also at least try to stop him doing it and said 'Well, he's a 4 yo boy', then I'd be cross :)

If the person seems nice I'd try to work out what had happened and apologise, explain to DS why it's annoying or whatever, but in this guys case I'd just say 'Sorry he annoyed you' and walk away. Then I'd ask DS if he knew why the man was cross and talk to DS briefly - then go and do something else and not give it another thought.

Sorry about the confusion. There weren't any seats, standing only, but children near the barriers can seat down on the floor to watch the dance. The man was standing next to him. Did told my son to be nice to other people, be aware of other people in proximity? He was fidgeting at the beginning. I didn't think he was kicking him intentionally, nor did my husband. Don't really know how else I can improve that.