5 yo ds still creates when i wash his hair

[NuggetsForTeaAgain]

he hates it, and after 5.4 yrs it is getting rather wearing. He screams and frets at the mere mention of hair wash. He uses a towel over his eyes but h holds it over his entire head so we end up having to extract it so that it covers his eyes and ears but he still screams like crazy and it drives me nuts! Tonight I made a pledge to myself to be calm and take it back to when he was about 1 year old. it made no difference, we still ended up with a soaking towel and loads of tears and noise. Any tips!?

Does he really need to have his hair washed as such? DS1 has got through five years without ever touching shampoo. I run a wet sponge over his head at bathtime, he complains but it takes about ten seconds so is over before he has a chance to get too stressed!

My tip is to not wash it. My dds are 5 and 8 and I only condition their hair. I promise they are not stinky or anything!

You could just try for a couple of weeks and see if it works for you.

Would this or this help?

Use a flannel rather than a towel.
Does he go swimming? DD will put her head under water but hates hair washing. I dont get it. Anyway, with DS the splashing about helped.
Keep it short. Use 2in1 stuff, ot seperate comditioner too.
Get him to do the shampoo rubbing himself. I used to make funny shapes with foam and out them on their head.
Reward afterwards and massive praise.
It does get better, DD is 10 now and she does it all by herself.

Don't wash it then or get him used to the shower instead of the bath can't help but get it wet then

thanks all . His hair is not short boy 'hair', It does seem to get greasy (ish) so not sure I could by pass washing it totally.

reckoner - only another 5 years to go then . I'll add it to his reward chart. thanks

ds has aspergers and has hyper sensitivity issues including not being able to tolerate hair washing. We keep his hair fairly short and only wash it once a week. He now does it straight away in the bath. We only fill a little bit of bath up and he lies back. He does all wetting, shampooing and rinsing. He then has a dry flannel over his eyes and ears to sit up with and will keep this there until he is confident nothing is going to drip in ears or eyes. He then fills bath and enjoys himself. It is still a battle with him asking every bath time if it is hair night despite having a visual calendar telling him when it is. There are usually protests but they have got so much better with time and giving him the powe and experimenting with the most tolerable ways of doing it have helped a great deal.

I wash DS's hair about once a week - or when he's had a really sweaty-head day. The only way I'm able to do it is by lying him back in the bath, my hand beneath his head, and using my other hand to wet his hair - sitting him up to soap it, then lying him back in the bath again to rinse. He needs constant reassurance - he loathes getting water in his ears - and it's the easiest way to keep the water out of his eyes.

I have many memories of miserable hair washes as a child so am trying to accommodate DS (4) as much as I can so he doesn't completely freak out over it.

Could you try one of those cups which has the rubber flexible edge on so it doesn't go in eyes? I've promised DS one of these, calling it a "magic cup", no idea if it will help or not though. I haven't got round to getting one yet. You can get them in Boots or Mothercare, maybe supermarkets?

DP can sometimes get him involved in a splashing game which culminates in him tipping water over his head, he's a bit shocked, but because it's part of the game seems to get over it quicker than if it's a separate hair-washing thing.

The other thing I've heard suggested is to get them to lie down and pretend to be a mermaid or a fish.

I am sure dd would still create merry hell if I had to wash her hair....she hated it

Every bathtime was a huge kerfuffle, the trauma is burned into my soul.

Me: Right, chin up, head back and the water will not go in your eyes
Her: mynotlikeit
Me: We'll be quick, chin up (grabs jug of water)
Her: wahhhhhhh, it'll get in my eyessssssssssssss
Me: head up HEAD UP!!
Her: wahhhhhh wahhhhhh it's in my eyessssssssssssssssssssssss
Me: Keep your head up....chin in the air...UP, UP for the love of god.....
Her: wahhhhhh wahhhhhh it's in my eyessssssssssssssssssssssss I am drowningggggggggggggggggggggggg
Me:(now yelling through gritted teeth) Keep your head back
Her: (now sobbing with head down) wahhhhhh wahhhhhh it's in my eyessssssssssssssssssssssss

Repeat till they are old enough to do it themselves.

He is 5.4 he can wash his hair himself.
DD1 has been doing it since she is about 4, may be before, and it stopped all the drama. She can also use goggles or a mask/tuba we have for the holidays (it makes it fun).

I just check that she is doing it correctly, but don't go anywhere near her, she also have a towel next to her if ever a drop falls in her eyes .

Our ds is sometimes the same. We have one of those jugs with a flexible bit and it makes no difference, perhaps marginally better.

What has made a difference is when we tell him to hold his head back and he lies back so the water flows back and keep still.
Sometimes he's better and calm. But it's only been in the last 6 months that we've washed his hair and he hasn't made a fuss.
So can you get him to lie back.

I don't wash it every evening either. He can wash his own hair and does this sometimes, but often asks for help. He's 5.5

I too am a bit bored of the palaver every time, Nuggets.Especially when my 2 yr old just gets on with it, no fuss at all.

5.5 year old DD1 has only just recently let me wash her hair with minimum fuss but I still only do it once or at most twice a week. Prior to that it was an extremely stressful, shouty and frustrating experience - I'm sure anybody passing would have thought we were trying to kill her. I got her to 'look up at the stars' and keep reminding her to do so, then quickly wet the hair with a very big jug, shampoo then rinse off. She is absolutely fine with putting her head underwater when swimming so I really don't understand what the fuss was all about.

good to hear there are other sufferes out there! I love the your description catsmamma. I do get very frustrated about it. I told ds that I was going to take him to the docs and they would wash it there . He really does create. I think the goggles idea is great. I'm going to get some soon! he only has a hair wash once a week (I really don;t think my nerves could take any more!) and it really does sound like I am slaying him. Good luck all

Nuggets, your last comment there reminded me - when my brother was small, he sounded like a scalded cat every time my mum washed his hair. But watch out - when he was a teen he suddenly started spending over an hour in the bathroom every day and using so much product you couldn't breathe in there for a while! I know that doesn't help you just yet, just warning you what might come your way in another 12 or so years

thumbwitch - I think I'd far prefer the latter option! We have three bathrooms so he can primp and preen wherever he wishes for however long he wants!

I have a 4 yr old son who is Autistic,he is terrified of getting his hair washed or cut.I keep his hair really short (means don't have to cut as often) and just put baby shampoo or baby bath in water and wet hs hair with my hands as if im just putting bubbles all over him, at least i'm in with a chance if i do it this way. Wish someone could invent a freeze spray that would really help! This is my first time on website so dont understand abbreviations yet so i'm just spelling everything out.

Oh god cats mamma has a wire in my bathroom.

tthomas...... great idea, im going to try it!

Cats - made me laugh out loud!!
Im afraid I just used to go for it and let them scream for a minute. Jug of water, quick wash, couple of jugs to rinse and big wipe with flannel. Done. Oh and they really did scream, but were over it by about 5!!