My 5.5 year old spat at a girl in the playground this morning

[mumashamedofson]

I'm so ashamed and want advice on what to do :(

It was just as the bell went the little girl came up and said he just spat at her. I didn't see it happening and found him walking towards me. The little girl went on in (she's my dd's friend, year above) and I asked him why he did it. He said because she wouldn't let him stroke my dd's toy. I told him off but couldn't say much more as his class was going in. I hate spitting and feel so ashamed. I'm worrying now he's going to have a bad day at school. I was watching him go in and could see him messing about with the door as he went and he was not in a happy mood.

I am planning on talking about it to him this evening. He's never spat at anyone before as far as I know and he knows it is wrong. He has a friends birthday party coming up. Do you think I should tell him because of his actions he will now not be going? It's not for another week so is that too far away for it to be an effective punishment? Should I bring him up to the girl after school and make him apologise?

I would talk to him about it at home when calm, possibly tomorrow morning if he's had a bad day at school.
I wouldn't cancel the party, that would be OTT for a one off imo. You also don't know exactly what went on. SHe wouldn't let him stroke the toy, what if she was holding his hand physically preventing? Or she spat first? You want to stop him doing it without a huge issue about it.

I was surprised when the dc went to school that round her they refer to what I would call "raspberry blowing" as spitting. To me they're different, raspberry is more done in almost a jokey kind of way/little thought behind it, and spitting is a much more deliberate act of contempt.

excatly what DeWe says, he could have blown raspberries at her, my dd was accused of spitting at school by another child and the teacher approached it as if dd had spat out of bad behaviour or spite and did not listen my dds explination.

what actually happened was my dd was talking and accidently sprayed as people sometimes do, a few of the girls where awww thats disgusting and decided to tell on dd. She was mortified at the sheer embarasment of being taunted for a mild faux pau that is often made, but is embarassing in its self and to then be "told off" for something she had not done along with not been given an oppertunity to explain herself. I did take dd to the class room the next day to explain to the teacher what happened and teacher was clearly embarrassed and regretfull for how she had acted towards dd.

Thank you both for your calming take on it! It's true I don't know exactly what sort of spitting it was or what went on before. I am calmer now and will speak to him later. My dd was there so I know she will give me all the details! Thank G it's Friday, I'll be so glad to get the school pick up done today and just hope he has been a good boy!

if it was in spite give him a good telling off and that you expect it to be an isolated incident and allow him to redeem himself, maybe stop a small treat but def not party. It will all be forgotten by the end of the day or monday between them both im sure. it is vile behaviour but it also does not mean it will continue.