Super-sensitive 2.8 yo - help?!!

[Preggersntired]

My toddler has always seems extremely sensitive compared with other children of his own age... For example 1) he goes berserk if you try to wash his hair 2) ditto if you go away for a weekend and he has to sleep in another room he screams and cries continuously. 3) he cries incessantly if things don't go his way, inclhding sharing. He speaks well but is unable to explain what the problem is each time apart from conveying his extreme emotion.

He has always been like this. He has a history of crying for no reason you can fathom from the word go. Both myself and DH are sensitive people but I struggle to understand his OTT behaviour. I get cross and DH indulges him... Which makes me furious!

I'm worried he's going to be at school and get the mick taken out of him for being so over the top/tearful. His intensity / crying already alarms other children and I see other parents wondering why the hell he gets his own way all the time. Not that he does with me, but he does with DH. However he behaves the same with both of us so my tough live approach isn't working anyway...

When he is happy / on form he is delightful - entertaining, helpful and affectionate.

But I don't know if I can face another bath time/ weekend away / other showdown!

Anyone else with an intense and over emotional child?

Oh yes, me! DS is 7 now and has always been very emotional and sensitve. As a baby we picked up on it because he didn't like change. Also, he was the one at any mum and baby gatherings who would get very unsettled when things got busy. Then he was hypersensitive about going to nursery, sharing, swimming and doing anything new. Now he still gets quite over-wrought at times and is prone to emotional meltdowns when things don't go his way e.g. on a playdate and it sometimes seems like he's much younger than he is. I try to see it in a positive light as well though as people have commented that he's emotionally intelligent. He's quite in tune with his emotions and the emotional reactions of others.

Yes - not liking change- that really rings a bell! We have to use all our persuasive skills to convince him that change is good... And it's exhausting.

Glad to hear there is an upside though, PeanutButter...

But how do you cope with the tears etc on a day to day level... Do you have any other children and how does it affect them?? Worried no 2 could be as sensitive! (nightmare)... Is your DS also your eldest?

Do you feel like you indulge him sometimes? (I know I do occasionally)...

Did it get any better/easier?!!?

Interesting questions! He's the eldest at 7 and a half. The others are DD who's 5.2 and DS2 who's 2.5. I'm not sure how his personality effects the others per say. More that they all affect each other equally and it's often hard work in our house!!

Maybe check whether your LA does a parenting course. I went on a 12 week one before Christmas, aimed at 0-5s (have other many other different challenges with my 2.5 year old) and despite having my doubts it was amazingly therapeutic and helpful for evaluating your current parenting styles and developing different strategies. One of the topics was emotional coaching, helping your small child to name and understand their emotions and finding more acceptable ways to express them.

Yes I'm sure I do and have indulged him. I can remember saying that if we would go to swimming lessons we would buy him xyz toy. I think incentives and rewards can be ok though, if they are set up clearly and it's clear what behaviour is going to get the reward. These days his emotional outbursts can be quite controlling in our family which can be tricky if say he doesn't want to do what the rest of the family are doing and has a meltdown.

With school, he's been ok. He's not Mr Popular by any means. He just tends to have one or two friends rather than lots and sometimes keeps his own company which is fine I guess. He's quite serious in his outlook. He likes all the rules and structure and is extremely well behaved! Each kid is different, if he was a different personality and rebelling at school I'd be more concerned!!

I have one of these too! Hard work since birth, but very chatty and hillarious most of the time (he's 2.10) but when he's horrid..... Aghhhh!!! It is shocking. Wont do what you ask etc etc. Screams for England, cries often and sometimes seemingly at silly things. Also over reacts a lot (Our little drama queen). Often worse when more people he's close to are in the same place, even at weekends when me and DP are both around.