20 mo picky eater, with sweet tooth. How firm should I be?

[bluesmile10]

My 20 mo ds has always been a picky eater. Won't touch fruit unless pureed, but loves all the wrong sweet things and puddings!!!!! When teething he always goes off his food, so I'm not sure how much is that, but he is point blank refusing main meals both at lunch and tea. Breakfast is fine! But at other meals he will not even take a mouthful ( unless it's fish cake and spag hoops!!) and then will request pudding!!!

Should I be giving him pudding? Is he too young to understand no tea, no pudding? My dh thinks he's not but I don't agree and so give it to him?? Should I be being stronger and with snacks - no snacks unless fruit!!! I've spoken to lots of people who say their children changed as they got older

I've not yet introduced the idea of pudding! Can you maybe change the concept of pudding to be something healthy (ish) and substantial, ie rice pudding with banana, yoghurt with granola and tinned peaches etc...?

Thanks, he would live off rice pudding!! Hates banana, even disguised. Have tried tinned fruit numerous times!!!!! Sorry, don't mean to sound negative or poo-pooing ideas!!!!!

My 20 mo is a really picky eater too - she basically lives off cereal, peanut butter sandwiches and pasta. She doesn't eat meat, rice, potatoes, veg, any fruit that isn't banana or berries etc etc

We don't really do puddings as such, she is offered yoghurt and/or fruit. We give her whatever we're eating and, if she doesn't eat it (which is most of the time) we'll still offer her those at at least they are healthy? Not too sure if that is the right thing, but I don't think she is yet at the stage we're she would understand why we are with holding. Could your DS snack on cheese/crackers instead of sweet stuff?

At 25 months i introduced pudding along with no lunch/dinner no pudding. It has worked better than my wildest dreams She was a really picky eater before, very snacky. But now she will eat stew, carrots, chicken, spinach, tomatoes etc. It took a while (week?) for her to I meant it and to undrstand it. And I always follow through. I also cut down on portion size a bit and dont make her finish the meal as long as shes had a good go at it.
Puddings are fairly healthy with a sugar twist. Eg a yogurt with some cake type sprinkles on top.

Hey no worries about sounding negative! My DD refuses yoghurt and tinned fruit point blank too. Luckily though she's a savoury type kid and not really into sweet stuff. Things she LOVES are:

Cauliflower cheese (bobbly bits!)
Penne with pasta sauce (suck up sauce through tubes!)
Spaghetti (worms!)
Baby sweetcorn (more bobbly bits!)
Mash and peas (push peas into mash!)
Roast parsnips (no obvious fun factor)
Steak (ditto)
Tortellini with pesto (green fingers!)
Garlic bread (again no obvious fun factor)

Don't know if any of this might be worth a try - not the food per se but maybe things your little one can also play with a bit? I do a fair amount of 'oooh bobbly bits, let's eat the bobbly bits!' stuff to make DD laugh at the table....

Hopeful face :o)

Thanks, will give it a shot! Sometimes it's almost like he just looks at something and says no and pushes it away - then any kind of persuasion ends in an almighty paddy and that's not what I want for mealtimes!!