real trouble with last nap of the day, getting desperate

[felixfelicis1]

I am having such a struggle with my DS's last nap of the day. His naps go well throughout the day but the last one is almost impossible. He falls asleep after a real struggle but wakes again, and again, and again, and again. It doesn't matter what I do (holding, in bed, in a sling, pushchair etc etc). I know he is tired. It is also such an important nap because if he is overtired at bedtime he is totally hysterical and will scream til midnight and then keep waking. I am really desperate does anyone have any similar experiences or advice?.

how old is he?

10 weeks

I would just go about your business and he will sleep when he needs to. At 10 weeks I have never had any luck forcing any of my three to stick to a routine. It happened as they got older naturally, but any attempt to foist it on them just made us both angry and upset.

10 weeks is so little. Try and relax about it and it will probably sort naturally anyway. It's by no means unusual to have a 10 seeker screaming until midnight every night... This too shall pass, etc etc. we used to have to dance with ds for about 4 hours every evening. And feed him every 2 hours 24/7.

Dd1 didn't nap at all at 10 weeks. The first time she fell asleep during the day she was over 4 mos old and I was so worried I called dh at work and he came home. They are all sooooo different.

I recall putting Ds1 in a bouncy chair in the living room at that age and hoovering the kitchen/living room round him. He would normally fall asleep.....

DS2 was a nightmare until 3/4 months when he settled into a routine much better.

I agree with OutofBody - 10 weeks is tiny, he'll sleep when he needs to. Don't worry about specific times or numbers of naps in a day, go with the flow (and remember to rest yourself when he does nap)

Sorry should have made clear in my OP. This 100% nothing to do with trying to have a routine. I am not into that at all. If he doesn't sleep in the afternoons then he is hysterical by bedtime. He doesn't ever ever fall asleep. I have seen him go 12 hours without sleeping and then he is totally inconsolable and hysterical for hours. It honestly is not that I am trying to do a structured routine. I know that he is tired at this time, lots of yawns, eye rubbing, crying and crying from overtiredness etc. I would so happily carry him around all day if he wanted but he doesn't ever just fall asleep.

DD was just like that OP. Would fight sleep and then end up over tired and hysterical. I started anticipating when she would be tired and aim to have her full, comfy and ready for sleep at about the time she'd be tired, if that makes sense? That usually meant popping her in the sling then going for a walk. But the weather was still quite fair when DD was that age. It does get a bit easier. The main thing that helped us is not letting her get over tired but it took me a while to work out how long she could be awake for before she needed to go to sleep.

Maybe he wants to go to bed and not nap? We used to think DS's last nap was 6pm ish but realised he didn't sant a nap, he wanted bedtime so we tweaked the last nap of the day so he we Tfl bed a little later than what we though was nap time. It meant his bedtime was early but hey ho. DD (8 weeks is looking to do the same -it seems she's tired from half 5, so I could think she needs a nap, but she actually wants bed at 6, so I don't bother napping, just chuck on PJs, white noise on in the dark and she sleeps. Doesn't always work but she's usually down by 8pm. However if I keep her up she gets overtired)

Yeah, we went through a few phases with that particular nap, though our DS wasn't really in any predictable 'routine' that early - just slept when he wanted/ needed to. It was only at around 16 weeks that a pattern emerged.

When he was a bit older there were periods when we'd do anything to get him to sleep at that time of the day - rocked, cuddled, sling, walked, drove him to sleep. He developed no bad habits because of it and is a fantastic little sleeper at 14 mo.

It could be just that your LO is going through a phase - from memory they go through a growth spurt around that age and their sleeping always goes to pot. Is he screaming at bedtime because he's hungry rather than tired? How strict are you with a specific 'bedtime' or is it moveable? My advice would be to move bedtime forward for the time being. In my experience they fall into more of a reliable sleep pattern when they're a bit older. Perhaps you're trying to force it too soon.

what times are you talking about? I've done totally baby led and routine and the timing really makes a huge difference.

I basically do a routine that follows him so it is never the same time. So about an hour after he was last asleep I get him away from toys etc and just cuddle him in a quiet room. His usual pattern is to be tired after being awake for an hour and usually is not too difficult to get to sleep. For some reason it is totally different in the evening.

but is this last nap of the day usually the same sort of time? or is it 3pm one day and 5pm the next day?
the late afternoons/evenings have pretty much always been hard work with all my babies. i used to have to wrap ds1 tight in a sling and walk up and down the stairs for ages until he'd calmed down enough to go to sleep.

It does vary but it is usually around 4 or 5pm. He hates both slings we have and screams his head off in them but I think I am going to persevere around the house with one as if it were to work it would be so amazing.

Take him out in the buggy - fresh air for both of you will be brilliant.

I went stir crazy with my now 8.5 mo ds trying to get him to nap. I always thought that I should stay at home some he could have a decent sleep etc, but in hindsight, I just needed to get out the fecking house for my own sanity!!

Take him for a walk...go buy some wine or something, and if he doesn't sleep then I agree with others and concentrate on putting him down for an earlier bedtime.

DD kicks off in the sling - usually because she's tired or needs to burp. After a few mins of jigging, she's ok!

I found Dr Karp's 5S method very useful at that time as DD would also get overtired and hysterical at bedtime (even with a decent final nap)!
The swaddling/side-holding/rocking/sshing combination (and a dummy) worked like magic for a while.

Could you push his other naps a bit later, make bedtime a bit earlier, and drop the third nap? When my DS started fighting the afternoon nap, he simply didn't want it anymore and there was no other option! He was a little older than your DS but not much - 16 weeks maybe.

a walk at 4pm seems to be bit of a miracle cure, a bit of fresh air late afternoon for some reason sets them up for a decent evening/night.

what kind of slings do you have? ds3 hated them in the house so i had to do a good long walk outdoors.

dd2 always dropped naps earlier than most dc.
i don't think she had that teatime nap beyond about 9 weeks or so. she did get very tired, sometimes overtired, but she wouldn't drop off. I just used to carry her in a sling from about 4pm until bedtime.

For a while we tried to get her down early, 6.30, certainly before 7 to compensate a bit.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. Just to fill you in things seem to be going a bit better. I think I was leaving it a little too long before putting him down to nap and so he was getting overtired (when this happens no amount if cuddling singing etc will console him).