4 week old baby will NOT nap and is crying all the time

[christmasbabyboy]

Title says it all really. He spends every day exhausted, I cuddle, feed, rock, bounce him in the bouncer chaiir, sing to him etc but he will not drop off to sleep. He soends his days crying and grizzling WHATEVER I do. I just can not figure him out. He looks like he's going to sleep, closes his eyes then all of a sudden is wide awake crying again. What the hell is going on?

Please HELP, really struggling. He cries and cries and cries.

Probably over stimulated. Have you got a sling as that may help or put him in pram.
Dd in Sling then just doing whatever I needed to unusually sent her to sleep.

Mine was the same at that stage, the only thing for it was a huge walk in the pram til she was sound asleep then park up at a cafe with a good book.

It does get better, honestly

Thank you. He cries even in the pram. I just can't see how I can do this day in day out. It's just awful to see him so tired and wound up. He is litterally never content because he is soooo over tired and grumpy. Please tell me this will sort itself out.

my first was like that (nearly drove me mad). The trick is to get them to sleep before they are overtired - sometimes only an our after waking (and never more than 2 hours at that stage).

White noise is supposed to help (eg radio out of tune, or a hoover, or in front of a spinning washing machine) - Status Quo worked for us (in a moment of desparation I put it on and lo and behold - once sleeping baby.

Also - putting on tummy until they fall asleep seemed to help mine - probably against the rules now though. Turned them onto back once asleep.

OK, so mine did sleep some, so I might not be the best person to ask. But what I did if I was having difficulty getting her to sleep was put her in the pram and go for a walk. (Or a sling, and go for a slightly shorter walk.) Or some people might try putting them in the car and going for a drive, that doesn't suit me as well, I'm not getting any fresh air and driving in my town is no picnic.

How often does he feed?

He feeds every 2-3 hours. I am just tired of not knowing how to soothe him and I can't go anywhere because he just melts down in the pram. I feel like I am walking on eggshells with him. He is never content and is just so hard to get to sleep. Is this normal? Will he grow out of it?

OK.

I think it could be one of/combo of several things.

• he is hungry - how are you feeding him? If BFing its still early stages and he may be wanting to feed almost permanently?

• he is tired and totally overstimulated and cant drop off - darkened room and rocking in your arms?

• he is a "velcro baby" and doesn't want to be put down (though you say he cries even when you are holding him)

• does he ever drop off during feeding? Does he need to suck to drop off? Try a dummy?

• has he got wind? Is he bringing his legs up and writhing a bit?

• has he got reflux?

• he is probably very sensitive to your stress - I know my DS is - and its a downward spiral. Sometimes if I am trying to feed/settle my DS and it isn't going well for whatever reason, I get more and more wound up and so does he. Ive learnt now to pass him to DH for a few mins while I calm down, then go back and try again.

OP, what does he do at the end of a feed?

It depends on how tired he is Bumps, sometimes he's OK after a feed other times he wriggles and cried and pulls off then cries and cries til he eventually sleeps. He passes wind a lot and seems genrally unhappy. Not sure if it's reflux as he doesn't mind laying flat (sometimes) also if he's unhappy he's unhappy whatever I do whether I keep him up right or not. Sometimes he dozes off during a feed. Doesn't like the dummy though, just spits it out and then cries more. I keep trying him with it but have had to resort to gently holding the dummy in place with him in my arms but even then he fights sleep and writhes about til he finally drops off. sometimes even that doesn't work like today and he won't nap whatever I do.

Also something else he does during a feed is wriggle and strain and passes wind constantly to th point where he's pulling off and pushing and unable to feed.

Have you got a local bf support group? That might be a good place to start to see if there's anything that can be done to help him with his feeding. They are likely to be supportive & understanding too, which is never a bad thing .

It's so hard when things are difficult and they don't have any instructions isn't it? You just want to make everything right, but it's v difficult to know how to do that when you feel you've already tried everything. It will get easier as he gets older.

What is your let-down like? Is he choking on the breast as the let down happens? Sometimes a too fast let down can cause problems with wind if thia might be the you can detatch him quickly as let down happening then put him back on? What is his latch like? Is he taking in air?

I'd try and get a breastfeeding counsellor to sit with you at home and see first hand what is going on. Do funds allow?

For what it's worth even when feeding etc all going well age four to six weeks is a period where they are incredibly unsettled, I have heard this is a developmental phase.

I recognise this! My now 7 month old was like that. How is his weight gain? Have you been to a bf group? Have you tried a sling?

My second dd was a bit like that I found the book secrets of the baby whisperer really helpful by Tracey someone. In the end I changed the way I fed her slightly, as apparently too much fore milk can make them windy. Assuming you are breast feeding , also watch your diet things that give you wind will affect baby. After a particularly screamy day I realised I'd eaten lentils twice!
Good luck it will get better :)

2 ideas

1. how does he do when you put him to bed at night? Can you do a (very) pared down routine for naps? Eg feed in low light, change nappy, mobile for a few minutes or whatever you normally do? I'm not suggesting a full bath etc.
2. is there a baby massage course near you? Might help him relax or let you soothe him more easily?

Good luck. Remember this too shall pass. I promise.

It sounds like your baby could have lactose overload - which is very common and related to the baby's immature gut not having enough lactase to fully digest the lactose they ingest during a feed. Info and advice on the link.
You'll be pleased to hear babies grow out of it naturally (I think my DD was clear of it by about 8 weeks). Meantime, feeding on one side and only switching after four hours is a good technique to limit the problem. Also gentle tummy massages and leg-cycling at every nappy change will help them pass the wind (you can get them to produce some impressive farts, it's quite satisfying...!!!)

Also, try - it can be extremely effective at settling very young babies. It worked amazingly for my DD.

Poor you, sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. It WILL pass.

Incidentally, I've been led to believe by BF experts that the fibrous nature of foods that cause wind in an adult gut (lentils, brassicas etc.) doesn't actually go through to breast milk, so you eating those foods are unlikely to be a cause of wind in the baby. Other things can be problematic, though (if the baby has dairy intolerance, it can make a difference if the mother cuts dairy out of her diet, for example....).

Get a sling.

Forget the pram. DS was like this. I had visions of lovely walks, him snuggled in the pram. DS had other ideas.

After he was awake for half an hour and had fed, in the sling he went and off for a walk I went.

DS was just the same - it's so awful,isn't it? I cried along with him a lot of the time because it was all just so exhausting and stressful.

He is now 5 months old and a jolly, giggly little charmer! But getting to this point has been..... tough going. But we have made it and so will you!

I think the best suggestion I have is to borrow "The Baby Book " by William and Martha Sears from your local library, and read it - it made me feel immeasurably better about things!

My DS was exactly the same at 4 wks, he was tired and grizzly all the time, and always eating (for comfort as he was so tired), often making himself sick. The best thing I ever did was get a routine in place, it got him napping well within a few days and eating at regular times. It also helped me to know when he was getting tired so when to put him down. He was happier and less tired and I was definitely less stressed. It didn't make everything perfect, and it wasn't until about 8 wks that the routine sort of fell into place, but it helped a lot. I made the routine from a bit of Gina Ford and also Baby Secrets by Jo Tantum, and The Baby Whisperer suggested by another poster has very useful bit on baby body language and what your LO will be trying to tell you. I also used the technique of Spaced Soothing initially to break the no sleep-overtired -eating all the time cycle. Not everyone may agree with doing this, especially on such a small baby, but it was actually what my DS seemed to desperately need; he is the kind of baby who needs his own space to be able to fall asleep. Like your LO he just will not fall asleep if I'm cuddling him, rocking him etc. I guess he gets overstimulated. Could it be your DS is similar?
I guess you have to rule out all the bf related issues it could be first, but I would highly recommend having a look at the routine books if you haven't already and felt that way inclined.
I hope you find an answer, I found 4-6 wks the worst tbh, it does get a bit better after this and things tend to settle down a bit. It will pass, but I hope you do manage to find a solution.

have a look at this thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1377293-feeling-down-4-week-old-doesnt-stop-crying

could it be reflux or birth trauma?