Who has followed all the advice for fussy eaters and it has actually worked?

[youknowpoo]

Ds6 Dd4 Eating problems for years.
From even before getting pregnant, I had read books, watched programmes etc and knew all the things to help encourage better eating. I made sure I din't leave lumpy solids too late. I made sure I offered a variety of colours, shape etc. I have invested time and effort into it and I am tired now. I don't want ot hear that they will grow out of it. I have that in my head most of the time. I don't want a quick fix either. Where we have attempted things, we have persevered for weeks, not days.
I have modelled eating a healthy diet
Made it fun
Got them involved
Grown my own veg and taken them to farms
Positive reward sticker charts for trying food
Never said they had to have a clean plate
Never cooked or given an alternative
Taken the plate away and not made a fuss
Added new foods alongside familiar food
Consistently place veg or untried food on the plate and not made a big deal out of it

I just feel it is all a load of utter bollocks.
I have reached my limit before and said if they didn't try a soup, just one mouthful, they would have to go straight to bed. They chose bed. Next time I cooked soup, DD asked if she could go to bed.
We just want them to try the food. It is so frustrating when they won't eat a pasta bake that they like becaus ethe pasta shape are different. Will eat chicken nuggets but not chicken. I can remember feeling happy when Ds statred eating burger and chips. How pathetic is that?

I would never have dreamed this is what it would end up like. I am not reaping what I have sown.

I feel utterly crap. I pray about it. I pray that they will not get an illness when they are older and ask me why I didn't make them eat healthily. I really worry they will get ill or die later in life because they don't eat a balanced diet. Am in tears. Where can I go for help?

Yes, yes but no not as much as you. I basically gave up earlier!

Both mine were happy eaters when they were babies. Trying new things, eating lumpy food, etc except my oldest didn't like pasta from very young, and youngest son didn't like bread.

Anyway, as they got older they got fussier (I don't like cheese anymore mummy that kind of thing). I never gave them an alternative and always gave them lots of positive praise. They just refused to eat anything they were not familiar with in terms of shape or texture, and their diet was basically home made fish fingers, noodles, pizza and paste for the one who likes pasta, baked beans, anything potatoes (baked, chips, mashed...), eggs, vegetables and fruit, sausages, and a few other items. I figured out that their diet was balanced-ish, and tried to keep up with protein by adding different kind of beans.

NOw they are 6 and 4. The 6 year old is trying new stuff no problem. He had beetroot for the first time yesterday. The 4 year old is more fussy but he will occasionally try new stuff.

I think that by giving in and giving them what they liked, I made all our meals stress free and happy. Now they are willing to try new things but if I go somewhere and they are serving I don't know, mussaka or something, my children will not eat it.

I do know how you feel but if you write down everything that they like, maybe you will find that their diet is a bit better than you think

OP - are 4 and 6 your kids' ages or their position in the family?
My two boys have always been horrendous to feed/eat - ages just 1 and 4 though. They are also livewires and I don't know where they get their energy from.
Sometimes I can't believe they're still alive, they eat so little... However the four year old has been getting better (sporadically) over the last maybe three months.

Hi
Have a look at this thread - sorry can't stop now but have to go collect DD - will be back later!
fussy eaters

I know how you feel - DS1 (nearly 9) came out of the normal toddler fussy stage fine and eats a very wide range of food. Very adventurous too (e.g. likes snails!).

DS2 is 7. He is like yours. When I have tried the "eat or go to bed" type approach we just end up with tantrums, no way of actually getting him into bed (he's too big to carry) and no food eaten anyway. It still drives me mad, but now I try (and almost always succeed, albeit with the occasional lapse) to keep that to myself and, like BlueberryPancake, feed him stuff he likes. It means I am always cooking at the very least a variation on the main meal, and sometimes something different.

He is also one of those children who can grow, shop for an cook food and then flatly refuse to try it.

There are lots of us around - before Christmas I found the Incredibly Fussy Eaters Thread on this development board helpful, as a reminder that you're not alone. It was also helpful to write down what DS2 eats, as although it's quite narrow he does managed to have a healthy enough diet overall (very boring to my eyes, but healthy enough).

Perhaps have a search for that and post there as there were lots of people popping in and out and I'm sure they would see a new post. Even if you just have a read it might give you some ideas.

Cross posted with pepperrabbit, that's the one!

I have taken a really hard line with DS1 (3.5) and actually it does seem to be working - appreciate that this is lucky! I am hugely into food and cooking and was really disappointed when my attempts to give hime a healthy and varied diet since weaning didn't seem to be working.

He is really into counting. We now have a "10 mouthfuls" rule - he has to have 10 mounthfuls of everything he initially rejects. Often I still need to spoon in some of those mouthfuls (but he takes them willingly). I do not ever (any more!) cook him a seperate meal from the rest of the family. After 10 mouthfuls we have a conversation about whether he actually likes it or not. About 75% of the time he concedes that he does actually quite like it. If he still doesn't, then I don't push it (but I will give him the same thing again a week or so later). I think the counting is what really won him over on this one, it hasn't really made him any more adventurous but he mainly goes along with the plan, and to be honest even if he only has the 10 mouthfuls, that's still a reasonable amount nutritionally.

Sorry, not much help but just wanted to sympathise. My 3.5 DS is the same as your children. Really tried hard with my second DS 1.5 not to make the same 'mistakes' I thought I'd made with the first, but second is a pretty poor eater too. I too was euphoric when DS1 ate beef burger and chips! Sometimes, I think, there really is nothing we can do, however hard we try. Please remember, it's not your fault. You have done the best you can. If DS2 doesn't like the texture of pasta once, twice or the millionenth (sp?) time you offer it, really, what can we do about it?!! .