hyperactive 3.5 yr old

[peppajay]

Hi I just after a bit of advice re: my 3.5 yr old son. From the second he gets up till the second he goes to bed he doesn't stop, he is an extremely happy child who never moans or crys and has never had a tantrum but he doesn't stop talking or moving he is constantly on the go both vocally and physically. He goes to pre school every morning and loves it and they say his happiness is unique and he is a joy to be around and he is the life and soul of the pre school. The majority of his peers are done in after a morning at pre school but my son just keeps on going, he will not watch tv or a DVD and taking him to church or to watch my DD's swimming or dancing is a no no because he does not do still. I notice when my DD goes swimming all the other younger siblings are just sat still either just watching or on a DS but we are doing walking round the pool or climbing the stairs 30 times, chatting up the receptionists , it is just constant. Most of his peers have some kind of game console DS or leappad but he doesnt have a clue what to do as he has to concentrate and has no interest. He has an excellent memory and knows all the letters of the alphabet can count to 100, is extremely musical and sings all day traditional songs as well as songs he makes up. He is absolutely great at structured activities he loves the music group we go to and when the other kids are running round he is joining in fantastically but I have to avoid toddler groups as he just runs round signing and laughing as he feels restrained.

He sits still at meal times and eats fantastically he doesnt drink squash or juice and doesnt like sweets so his hyperactivity cannot be due to diet.

It is just beginning to worry me as people will not look after him due to his hyperactivity because they cannot cope with the constant talking and physical demands he puts on other adults. My mum says he is a sure case of ADHD and he needs medication to calm him down but behavioural wise he is an absolute star. Pre school laughed in my face when I mentioned ADHD, in their opinion he is just an extremely active happy little boy.

I don't want him to stop being him but he is emotionally draning sometimes and I wonder is there such a thing as a hyperactive child without any ADHD traits.

Just to add sleeping wise he goes to bed without a problem and sings himself to sleep about 7/730pm and sleeps till about 6am and wakes full of the joys of spring!!

Hello peppajay

I don't know much about ADHD and someone will probably be along to advise you more on that but, on reading your post, I just wanted to say that your DS sounds just like my DS (same age) and like a lovely, busy, energetic little boy! We often end up shaking our heads and wondering just where DS gets all the energy to keep going all day/evening and I've sometimes had similar thoughts to yours - I'm never the parent who can just sit down but always have to keep following DS around & on the move! - i've sometimes thought "is there something different about DS because he just loves to keep active and busy, when other children can sit down & keep still?" - but i've come round to thinking he just likes being busy and active & of course at his age he's got so much energy - and i quite like having a child who's like that really. Better that than a couch potato! I'm sure lots of other parents whose DC are around this age & who also never stop will be along soon to commiserate too!

I also wanted to say that i would be very, very careful of too quickly getting into ADHD labels. Of course you're probably right to always have an eye of how your DC is developing - and i'm no expert on ADHD - but there is a very big concern about the rise in medication being given to children and the labelling of growing numbers of boys especially as 'hyperactive' - when there is a growing body of thought that they are just normal, energetic boys. Yes, children need to learn over time that sometimes you have to be able to sit down & focus on an activity etc and you can't always be running around - but you say that your DS is great behavioural wise at nursery so i am sure sometimes he is sitting down having something to eat or doing a puzzle etc - to be honest we struggle a lot of the time with DS getting him to sit still for extended periods ie dinner so you are not the only one - but i believe that is perfectly normal for their age and i'm sure others will agree.

Enjoy your bright, energetic little man, he sounds a real delight.

all best.

I agree with themotherofallmums.

OP, I think that was a very irresponsible thing of your mother to say - your son doesn't sound like ADHD to me, he sounds like a normal enegetic 3yo. My DS1 was the same at that age, he is now 6 and has quietened down a bit but is still very active.

It's not ideal for kids that age to sit hunched up over a game console. I'm not judging the other parents, because when you've got one sibling at swimming class it's understandable to give the other one something to keep them quiet, but it should NOT be something to aspire to. It's terrible to think that some people think this is the norm and your DS needs to be medicated to achieve the same thing. Honestly, your mum's statement is the most shocking thing I've read on MN all week!

Thanks for your replies its good to hear that other people seem to have over active children as well. I wasn't overly concerned until I asked my mum why she will never look after him just for a few hrs and she said its because he is too hard work because he doesnt stop, I obviously stood up for him and that is when she mentioned ADHD. My SIL will not look after him either because she cant relax when he is around coz he is constantly jabbering away and one of my good friends who has older kids finds him hard coz he wont sit still and watch tv/dvd with her older kids and her kids say he tires them out. My DD has a dance show in a few weeks and my DH is unfortunately working and all the other mums can take their younger siblings as they sit and colour or go on the DS but obviously Theo won't sit still so is no way can do that so that is why I was looking for someone to have him for a few hrs but no one wants him :0(

Hi, I have a 6yo dd who is/was just the same. Can't really offer much advice, other than finding him an activity to tired him out? My dd did swimming and martial arts at the same age. Also anything to challenge him mentally may help?