How to ease the jealous feelings of 5 yr old DD

[seashore]

Hi,

DD took the arrival of her brother 2 yrs ago very well but these days she is very jealous. She blocks him getting attention by behaving badly herself, it's starting to feel like we're always giving out to her. She does enjoy his company and they are great play companions but you can't say anything positive to him, such as good boy, without her then insisting that she's a bad girl. If he's getting a story read to him she makes sure to interrupt. She's very advanced and verbally agile and has become very sarcastic.

I feel like we are all locked in a negative cycle with this, does anyone have any advice on how to successfully reassure her that we have enough love and affection (we've told her this hundreds of times!) for them both. Is this a phase or just basic sibling rivalry? Either way for now I'd really like to ease her hurt feelings about having a brother.

Thanks

I had my two very close together (15months apart) and I have always praised them when they get along (which they do most of the time) and helping them to sort out their differences by focusing on solving the problem together. It has worked very well. The worst times are when their mutual friend comes over and they get a bit possessive! Try to relax a little about it as your daughter is probably finding she can use your anxiety as leverage. Maybe draw up a list together of ways of behaving that you and they agree are acceptable and agreeing a treat for good behaviour and perhaps the withdrawal of a privilege for unacceptable behaviour. Involve your daughter in private times with just the two of you doing something together and only bring up any issues when you are both in good spirits and she is more receptive to ideas. Good luck xxx

Sorry about it, just make sure she knows how special she is and that just because you have another DC she is still very special to you. That's all you can do, yes I think it is basic sibling rivalry. At the end of the day she needs to love her little Brother too!! . I'm an only child but I'de not have been jealous of a Brother at all. But we're all different. GL