How do you help a child who is 'not making it' socially?

[ThePoorMansBeckySharp]

DD, 4, seems to be struggling socially at school. She becomes deeply attached to other kids and is distraught when she turns up and they say 'Hi S, I'm so-and-so's friend now.' She is not into girlie stuff so gravitates to the boys, but things seem to be getting divided more and more along gender lines an the boys have their own groups.

She cried and cried today . I am pregnant and hormonal and just want to cry too, she gets so attached to people and is so upset when they don't want to be her friend any more.

I know exactly how your feeling because my DD was like that when she started school and now shes abit older we understand thats her personality. I get frustrated because i like making friends and have more of a confident personality myself. She now has settled down and only plays with the really quiet and shy members of her class, its something i would never of done at school, i was loud and showoffey. I have to come to terms that shes her own person and shes not me.

Speak to her teacher. Explain to her how friendship works at that age - sometimes someone is your best and only friend, but in truth they like other children too, so if they're off with someone else there are plenty of other kids to play with. My DD also 4 is exactly the same and I've been pre-empting her getting upset as I've seen her a few times arriving at the school yard wanting to play with E, but E is ignoring her and running with R. They're probably not doing it on purpose, so I just encourage her to find someone else. She's very sociable, but does like to form a strong bond with 1 or 2 at a time. I've invited E to play and DD has been to E's too. I think I might try and have another friend over before we have E again though so DD knows she can have more than one friend.

My dd is the same. Nearly 8 and still plays with the boys :) she finds girls frustrating and annoying and the hurtful comments some make really upset dd.

My eldest is very similar. Social and emotional skills can be difficult for many people (I think it would help a lot of kids if time was spent formally teaching them).

This link has lots of fun ways to learn social skills. It's a site specifically for special needs, but the tasks are brilliant for all kids, I think. Also, the Social Skills Circle can be quite helpful at pieces different types of social skills needs together.