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Sleep regression at 3 month?

15 replies

Claxonia · 24/01/2012 12:43

My 3 month old daughter who had previously been sleeping good 5 and occasionally 6 hour stretches at night has suddenly started waking every 1-2 hours. She doesn't seem hungry when she wakes, sometimes she wants to be held sometimes seems like she wants to play, doesn't really cry but makes disgruntled noises if left in her cot. Will occasionally settle if we bring her into our bed (particularly after 5am) but I really hate doing that and don't want to get into the habit. I think she is a very active baby when awake so she seems to get tired quite quickly during the day and gets grumpy if awake for more that 1.5-2 hours. She does have naps during the day but never sleeps for long unless in the push chair.

I know sleep regression can happen at 4 months but can it come early? Any ideas about how to encourage her to sleep for longer?

OP posts:
mpops · 24/01/2012 14:47

You could be describing my DD around Christmas clax!

There is a major developmental leap around 12 weeks which apparently has to do with the way they their own understand movements. Also their heads increase in size considerably around that time and their neurological system gets more complicated. That all means that their lovely sleep pattern goes out the window. My DD learnt to roll over around that time and, without wanting to alarm you, nearly 4 weeks later things haven't improved much sleep-wise. She is now waking up 3 times a night, sometimes 4, trying to roll over or sit up! We are shattered! Maybe you'll be lucky though. We co-sleep on and off out of necessity but it is not ideal.

Do you know about the book The Wonder Weeks? It's been very helpful for us to try and understand all that. Hope things improve for you.

Claxonia · 24/01/2012 17:26

Thanks mpops, that does sound worryingly similar! Our daughter has just worked out how to put her fingers in her mouth and wants to do it all the time, including at 3am. She is generally more upset which I find very difficult as she seemed really happy and content before.

OP posts:
Bartiimaeus · 24/01/2012 17:33

I can sympathise. Lovely 6-7hours of sleep is now max 2 hours Angry and daytime naps are shot too!

Started at 3 months and now at 4 it's no better and I'm seriously struggling Sad

Am reading the no-cry sleep solutions for some tips. The main problem is not getting Ds to sleep (except during the day) but to stay asleep!

DS is also more upset and frustrated I think. Fewer smiles and laughs although he does still have his moments.

I hope this passes soon

mpops · 24/01/2012 21:18

I found that our DD was a lot less laid back after that crazy time. But it makes sense: if they wake up a lot at night, they must have stuff messing with their brains ("how do I do THAT?!" "how do I improve on THAT?!") so they are frustrated.

Barti, same here about naps. Complete nightmare to get her to sleep for longer than 30 minutes (just so I could get some kip too, the selfish mother that I am!). I found that darkening the room as much as possible and sleeping with her (so I could get her back to sleep when she inevitably woke up after 30 minutes) were the only things that really worked. I haven't mastered the art of getting her to sleep in the day and getting on with stuff at home. One day. I read all the sleep books but in the end I figured out, better to just do what works for us now and not go crazy trying to establish a pattern.

After weeks and weeks of trying one thing then another then another, I'm starting to understand that the goalposts move all the time, so it'll never be one thing that works, not with every baby/child, so you have to sort of re-invent the wheel every morning when you wake up (or just get up if you haven't slept Grin).

ssjj · 27/01/2012 21:31

Hello, I'm so glad I found this as this is exactly what we have been experiencing! We had a relatively 'easy' run with great sleeping and routine of naps going well..then bang.. 12 weeks (when it is supposed to improve massively!!) and naps and nighttime sleep go haywire. My ds too takes 20/30 min naps and has started waking more in the night but we are pretty sure it's not for food. He too has found his fingers but gets frustrated trying to suck as can't quite control them. We watch him on our monitor and he looks like he is raving bless him.

I went to another sleep forum and they suggested pupdcd method, but I had a feeling this was a developmental phase and thought it a bit early to go full on sleep training. Plus having dd1, spending one hour sshh patting etc for each nap doesn't seem fair on her either. My only glimmer of hope is that my dd1 was similar on the napping front and she got much better at 6 months both in terms of naps and nighttime sleeping through. Please do post if anything springs to mind / changes for the better! Good luck!

Africagirl1 · 28/01/2012 04:35

DD is 13 weeks and I'm experiencing the same thing. YAWN. I introduced a dream feed last night and it helped. She woke up once instead of twice

Petesmum · 28/01/2012 05:14

My DD is only 6 weeks old & a very poor sleeper. My only comment on this is "oh s**t"more disturbed nights to come???

mistressploppy · 13/05/2012 09:02

Bumping this as it's all happening to us at the moment, DS is 14wks. Any of the posters above got good things to say about how it all worked itself out and their dc are marvellous sleepers now?

lola88 · 14/05/2012 10:37

I was there last week ds used to sleep 6 - 7 hours then 4 and 4 straight back down after his bottles then suddenly up every 1 - 3 hours then wide awake for hours between 2 and 5!

I'va had to cut his day time naps he gets an hour in the morning right now actually and half hours the rest of the day it's only been 3 days and he's been very moany from about 4pm but the last 2 nights he's went 6..5 hours from 7 - 1.30 then up at 3.45 for the last 2oz of his 1.30 bottle and 5 for his other bottle then slept til 8.

I'm actually now having the problem he's falling asleep taking his nighttime bottles and waking an hr or 2 later wanting the rest!

chocolatetester1 · 14/05/2012 15:16

Mine did exactly the same thing. Was sleeping reasonably but then at 3 months had a growth spurt and slept for no longer than an hour at a time.
I chucked him out into his own room and used the guidelines in Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall to do controlled crying. It worked very well and 2 1/2 months later he was sleeping 7-7 which he has done ever since. I LOVE Tizzie Hall! I was going bonkers and she saved the day.

mistressploppy · 14/05/2012 19:05

That sounds good - can you summarise the Tizzie Hall cc technique, chocolate??!!

chocolatetester1 · 14/05/2012 19:37

Tizzie Hall's self settling method in brief:
First learn to tell the difference between an emotional/ hungry cry (waa waa waa waa waa continuously) and a protest cry (wa wa waaaa pause while listening for Mummy - wa wa waaa pause whilst etc etc). Protest crying can be ignored , the other kind can't. Protest crying can go on for a while, especially if baby is expecting you to come in as usual. DS went on for 1hour 9 mins the first time I left him (morning nap), 9 mins the second time (afternoon nap) and didn't cry at all in the evening for bed time, it was that quick. We were lucky and I was prepared to stick it out for 2 or 3 days before seeing an improvement, so I was impressed.

Make sure you put baby down dry, well fed, no wind, good temperature, happy and with a cloth comforter that smells of you - the old stuff it down the bra for a bit trick. I attach DS's to the cot bars with plastic loopy links so it can't fall out.

Choose a day you're feeling strong. Make sure you've done all of the above , give baby a short hug/kiss/say 'nap time' and put baby down in cot and walk away quickly, shut the door if you normally do. And stay away. No going back in after 5/10/15 mins because this gives the baby mixed messages and leads them to expect comfort from you when the whole point is you want them to self settle.

When baby wakes, even if they haven't been asleep long, go and get them and have a much needed (for you!) hug.

This method can be quite draining at the beginning but works quickly so I suggest start in the morning when you feel at your strongest and keep busy during the crying. I also bought a video monitor before starting as I knew this would give me the reassurance I needed. Best money I've ever spent!

This is a review of Save Our Sleep that I wrote for the local NCT mag, I include it as it'll give a reasonable overview:

As with most baby sleep books, you tend to reach for them when you?re at your wits? end. The great thing about this book is that you can read the whole thing if your sleep deprived mind can cope ? or you can turn to the 2 pages that lay out a routine for your baby?s age and just follow it! If you?ve really had enough, (like we had after 3 1/2 months of naff all sleep) pp71-78 cover how to teach your baby to self settle. Reading about ?protest crying? as opposed to ?emotional crying? gave us the confidence to let our baby get on with it and I finally stopped rocking him to sleep in my arms (which was causing me to slowly wither inside).

If you?re lucky enough to read this book before having your first baby, then it?s a very thorough guide to milk feeds and solids, health and illness, settling and sleeping, whether for single babies, multiple births or premature babies.

The main message I took from this book is that once the daytime sleeps and routine are settled, the night sleep will gradually fall into place. Tizzie Hall?s daytime routines may seem a bit strict, but having a routine can make it easier to get out and about. Also, the routines are for the baby ? not for us! We can eat, sleep, go out when we like!

The routines are set out according to age and have times for milk feeds, solid feeds if baby is ready, sleep/nap times, a dreamfeed and bed. They start from about 1 week old and continue until 2 years old. The daytime sleeps are pretty much set in stone but the writer recognises the importance to parents of getting out and about, so she?s keen for the baby to sleep through shopping/coffee out etc. One of the ways she recommends babies be taught to self settle is with a cloth comforter which can be used wherever the baby is sleeping ? cot, pram, car seat etc. I hadn?t bought these before as I hadn?t realised how much of a comfort they are but having seen them in action, I?m convinced.

Tizzie Hall has a website where you can shop for the products she recommends in her books and they do seem to be good quality. You can buy many similar items on the general market, sometimes quite a lot cheaper, but it?s good for ideas:
www.saveoursleep.co.uk

I really hope this helps, good luck.

mistressploppy · 14/05/2012 20:46

Chocolate - I'm SO grateful. Thank you for posting that. I'm going to give it a go. DH might kill me if I buy another parenting book though..

chocolatetester1 · 14/05/2012 20:52

You're welcome, the book is worth it! DH won't mind after he's had a bit more sleep!

FaneFeyre · 15/05/2012 11:44

I could have written the OP! 3 month regression kicked in for us with a bang around week 12/13. DD is 16 weeks today and currently napping on me after another unsettled night. She's had a busy few weeks learning how to roll, blow raspberries etc so I do feel it's because her brain is in overdrive.

For daytime napping I try to get her to have a big nap in the pram, even if it's just in the kitchen. The trick is to set your watch for 20 minutes after baby goes to sleep and then at the 20 min mark start rocking to ease the transition into the next sleep cycle.

Will also look into Tizzie Hall...thanks chocolate

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