DD is 7 and has always been quite a strong willed child. But as she gets older its getting worse. She shouts at us and then says she isn't shouting, makes faces and has quite a bad temper. We have tried time out, reward charts, confiscating toys etc. and have even smacked a few times but nothing makes much difference. But other times she is just such a lovely child. It's like 2 different children.
Up until she started in her current class at school there was no problems there. She was getting good reports, certificates for her work etc. But since October we're getting reports of her being defiant, not speaking to a teacher when spoken to and not listening and following instructions. She did have problems with a child in her class kicking/stealing from her and whispering things to her about having poo in her pants. Went to the school and they assured me they'd keep an eye on it. Was also told that she doesn't seem to speak to other children and prefers being alone. Which isn't like her. DD has told me that other children keep annoying her and then she gets in trouble for fighting back, have told her not to do this.
She has had 2 detentions since October and now the school have sent me a letter wanting to come in to see them about her behaviour.
I really don't know what to do and feel like such a failure.