23 month old not talking.

[scentednappyhag]

Not sure if I'm posting in the right place, but hoping someone can give some advice.

My DSIL has mentioned a few times lately that she's worrying as her DS is not talking yet. Apparently a few people have made comments, but the HV has said not to worry and that children start speaking at different ages. He chatters away in his own little language, and makes repeated sounds that obviously mean something to him :)
Before I get flamed for it being none of my business, I'm on the HV's side, but was just looking for some real people's experiences to hopefully show her and reassure her.
So is this fairly normal? Or should she be pushing for further assessment?

I would be pushing for further assessment. By 20 months, my DD had very few words, so we got a referral to audiology and SALT. She was diagnosed with a speech delay, even though lots of people told me she would do it in her own time. She is now, after lots of work, putting 2 words together, but is several months behind her peers. Much better to get intervention early.

Has he got any discernible words at all?

Thanks for replying he says a few words, such as mum, dad, bye bye, splash (for bath time), and a few others that DSiL understands but not other people IYKWIM.

My DD2 is nearly 21 months. Last week we had an appt with a speech and language therapist because dd only has about 15 words and apart from 'mama', 'dadda', 'bus', 'bye', 'allo' and 'daisy' (for upsy daisy) she hardly uses them. The SALT was basically very reassuring, because dd is following instructions and babbling etc. She said we should start to worry and come back if she didn't have 50 words by 2 and three months. Don't know if that helps you at all, it sounds like my dd is a little bit ahead of your DSIL's boy but not much.

Thanks Waving, that's given me a figure to take back to her fingers crossed he suddenly starts quoting Shakespeare

interesting, wavingkitty. We were told 50 words by 2, but that they are thinking of revising this figure as they actually expect more. it really does seem to depend who you speak to - my dd was diagnosed, a friend's ds who has very similar limited langauge, was told by the HV that it was ok and to wait and see.

Scented, they do often have language 'burst' bewteen 2 and 3, but I would still advise seeking advice, just in case. If you need SALT ,there can be a long waiting list. IMO, it is better to ' be on the books' then not need it, than wait and see and then have to wait for many months on a list to get help.

You obviously want to tread softly which is good I think because your job is to be there to listen. However, a very very safe book to recommend to her is Hanen's "It Takes Two to Talk". available for £32 from winslow publications and worth three times the money. This will help all the family change and improve the techniques they use to encourage him to talk. It is non-scary - can be left on the coffee table and will not alienate those family members who think he will "talk in his own time" (and who may of course be right!). No scary milestone charts, no quasi-medical jargon - you get the idea.

Having just said how great it is to avoid milestone charts though, I still want to say that by 18 months he should be able to show her what she wants. So she gives him apple, he shakes his head and points to the banana on the other side of the room then looks at her eyes to see if she's followed his gist that kind of thing. If he can ony show what he wants by crying/tantrumming, leaving her to use her experience of him to fill in the blanks, then that's a game-changer, that means she can be sure that he is going to need extra help (and that she'll have a brand new hobby for the next few years :).

And having a hearing test is a bit of a no brainer. She should definitely do that. Loads and loads of kids have glue ear.

My daughter was quite late to talk. I remember her 2nd birthday party - DD was playing with her In the Night Garden shite toys and saying "ma-ma" (for Makka Pakka). Then her wee friend came in and said "Gazebo!". I felt quite crushed. She did understand us, could follow instructions and had her own signs for a lot of things.

The HV said not to worry at 2. About three months later she had a total language explosion. Obviously this is just one example though!

My three DDs were all speech delayed - DD2 and DD3 couldn't speak at three. I would look at getting on the waiting list for speech therapy - but your nephew may not even be considered at this time, as in our area now nothing is done until children are at least 2.6 (I agreed with my HV that she would phone me the moment DD3 reached this age, to allow her to get on the waiting list ASAP).

Whilst it is worrying when your child has delayed speech (and I have a family history of it, and expected it), sometimes delayed speech is simply delayed speech. The only thing that I've really found difficult to deal with is the number of people who helpfully tell me that "their child talked early, but of course they talked to their child all the time." As opposed to me locking my child in the cupboard under the stairs a la Harry Potter .

My DD is 21 months and only says 'no'. She can make lots of noises, and babbles away to herself and to us. She's fairly effective at communicating what she wants, pointing to things, fetching things, taking my hand and leading me to things etc.

I'm fairly sure there's nothing wrong with her hearing as she was prem so has had a fair few hearing tests (amongst others!).

We are on a waiting list for salt. I'm in Scotland. My Hv said they are now aiming for earlier intervention and that in the first instance it will be a group environment, I think learning through play.

I do worry whether I talk to DD enough and worry its my fault that she's late in talking. But she understands everything we say and, like I say, can communicate, just not with words.

Hopefully all our little ones will get there eventually!

KD0706, I wouldn't go along with 'group' speech therapy. I was dubious about this, but agreed to it for DD2 as there as a considerably shorter waiting list. She had speech therapy with one other child, and while the two of them had a great time together, and started laughing the moment they saw each other, from a speech point of view it was pointless. The two children had completely different needs.

I am absolutely sure that you do talk to your DD enough - as logically you must realise. But I know how easy it is to feel guilty about the times you allow them to watch cbeebies because you've got to do some housework.

DC have mostly been late talkers, had SALT advice for one and a dozen formal sessions for another. The child I only had advice about, said only 11 recognisable words at 2y+3months. And only started using 2 word phrases a bit before his 3rd birthday (talking a storm just a few months later).

My gut feeling is your nephew is fine, too, just keep contact with the HV who will act if & when it's best.

Thanks for the advice jeee
I'm due to see Hv on Thursday so will see if I can get more detail from her then and maybe try to push for 1 on 1.

I wouldn't worry at all. It is quite normal.

People should mind their own business regards to your sister getting comments from other people. It is rarely helpful.

Boys tend to have speech delay more than girls so don't compare your nephew to a girl of the same age with no speech issues. Until the age of about seven a girl's speech is more advanced than a boy's so speech therapists have different levels for boys and girls up to this age.

I have a ds with a speech disorder. I have another ds with speech delay. If he "chatters away in his own little language, and makes repeated sounds that obviously mean something to him" then these are all good signs. If he has speech delay then he will be ok. He'll catch up with his peers and be fine. (My ds with a speech disorder is making good progress and doing fine at school so if it is a bit more serious than just speech delay he'll be ok).

By the age of two a child should say about 50 words but when you talk to a speech therapist they'll tell you the range is quite vast.

I'd refer him to a speech therapist because:

1. The waiting list can be long so best to get his name down sooner rather than later.
2. The speech therapist can put your sister's mind at ease. It is far better to talk to a professional rather than listen to friends who have no experience of speech issues but think they know it all and like to point out that your child is "behind" its peers in an indirect way! A good speech therapist can be very reassuring and can stop unnecessary worrying.

About half of the children who are referred to a speech therapist are removed off the list quite quickly because they have progressed well with no intervention. The other half may need help but it might only be fairly short term. Each case can be different.

Tell your sister to relax. Your nephew will be fine.

Jeee - I totally get the frustration of your comment of "The only thing that I've really found difficult to deal with is the number of people who helpfully tell me that "their child talked early, but of course they talked to their child all the time." As opposed to me locking my child in the cupboard under the stairs a la Harry Potter". I so understand where you are coming from. If it was that simple my DCs would have no speech issues. I can handle the comment now but with my first DS I found it such an insensitive, hurtful and frustrating thing to say.

Thank so much everyone, your comments have been really helpful. He does understand instructions etc, and can communicate what he wants so that all seems reassuring I'll show her this thread next time I'm there, still trying to convince her that she needs to be a MNer herself

Comments from outsiders whether it is that their baby chatted in full sentences at 8 months, or that granny said there was definitely a wee boy down her lane that did not talk until he was three are very unhelpful as they are only extreme and vague generalisations - that are not drawn from reality, and which will not help at all with the actual situation. Sometimes there is a view that you should never admit there could be a problem and that you should just plod on regardless hoping for improvement. But even if a child has no issues and is just at the late end for normal, nothing will be lost by finding out what you can do to help your child - there isn't a lot out there other than what you do yourself anyway so the earlier you recognise that the better really.

My dd didn't talk until she was 20 months , then it all came out in sentences . She is yr 3 and super bright, never been a big talker but gifted in art and creative writing so try not to worry .

My ds1 (2nd child) didn't say anything (perhaps mummy and daddy and boo boo but not a lot else) until he was at least 2yrs 3months. Once he started talking he didn't stop, and now at 3yrs 3 months he doesn't shut up! He still can't say the start of words beginning with 's', but we saw a salt who said that he can actually say some sounds that she wouldn't expect yet, and he can happily take until 3.5 to master the missing s.