5.5 yr old DD still in pull ups at night

[SydneyB]

As the thread title says really. She's never been dry at night. Every morning she wakes to a full, sodden drynite pull up or whatever. We've tried a few times over the last year or so to take them away but she's wet by 9, again by 1, again by 5 and it's just been too distressing and upsetting for her. Her 3 yr old brother has been dry at night since before he was 3 which adds to her distress. I know the theory behind them just being ready at a certain age and that it happens to different children at a different age but I'm just beginning to wonder whether I should do something (not sure what) to address it now. Or to wait it out. Anecdotal survey of friends same age seems to show she's the only one (although that's probably not quite true). It took a looong time for her to be completely dry in the day and she still lets little leaks out if she can't be bothered to run to the loo so I'm wondering if that's related..

No advice but my DS (nearly 6) still wets every night. No chance of getting him up to wee because he's usually already wet within 30 minutes of falling asleep, and he does use the loo before bed. I'm just hoping he will grow out of it, he doesn't seem to care and DH was the same as a child so perhaps it is just a hereditary delayed development.

My DD is 7.5 and we took her to the enurisis clinic in Nov. So far all they have told us to do is to get her to drink more during the day (2 drinks at breakfast - one being the milk with cereal, one at breaktime, one at lunch, one between lunch and school ending, one after school, one at dinner and one at 6pm and nothing after that. They also said she needs to go to the loo as soon as she needs it and not hold on. At bedtime she has to go for a wee, brush teeth, have story then try and wee again (sitting there for a while to make sure it is all gone).

It is working ok. DD has never drunk much so they say her bladder needs to be stretched more so she can hold more overnight. It is tough to get all those drinks down her to be honest but we are trying. They did ask us to take her out of pull ups and we did for a few weeks but the washing was hard work (duvet having to be washed daily as well as sheets) so we are back in pullups for now. She is still not having many dry nights but we will persevere. They say they don't do the drugs or alarms until they are older as it is still not judged a huge problem now.

My DS2 is the same, hes 5.5 and never had a dry night. He told my mum at Christmas that if he had a fairy godmother he'd wish he didn't have to wear pyjama pants anymore. My heart nearly broke when she told me :(

He leaks during the day too (not as much as he used to) but has been referred to the enurisis clinic back in August, however to date I've only had a letter saying that they received his referal and would be put on the list.

I guess its common, a number of my family members have not been dry until much later.

I would not let her wear pull-ups. Sorry that is a bit cruel but the kids will most certainly wet their pull-ups because that is what they are for. I know that it is not very comfortable to have a wet bed but you could use a little mattress protective sheet. You take it off once it is wet. Make sure she does not have juice in the evening or anything to drink before she goes to bed. Put a potty next to bed.

abc123d, Do you really think that none of us have thought of that?

Believe me I have tried my son without pj pants. Many times. I have tried getting him out of bed three or four times a night and putting him on the loo. I have tried not giving him a drink after six. I have tried sticker charts, shouting, you name it.

Its not his fault, he does not know he is wetting. Its not my fault, i have successfully managed to get my other children dry.

I finally took my son to the bedwetting clinic when he was 7 because I followed all this advice about children growing out of it. He's now on medication (desmomelt) because he wasn't producing enough of the hormone himself. It works and he hardly wets the bed now. The nurse said he could be on the medication for a year or two.

I agree with switchtv, bedwetting has nothing to do motivation or laziness. Some children just can't help it. My other children were dry at night soon after potty training.

A friend of mine cured her six year old of bedwetting by using an alarm. Medication and alarms work for some children and, in hindsight, I wish I'd taken him to the doctor much sooner.

abc - I get your sentiment, but it not fair to punish a child for something they cant control - and believe me some of them can't. I don't get the rush to get them out of nappies/dry at night/stopping bottles/no dummies - why pressure them into growing up so fast. My boys are much older now and I never rushed any of that stuff and I don't regret a single thing. We are always getting comments about how they are all chilled and easy to deal with at school. I am sure some of that is because we never stressed them out with trivial things or pushed the 'peer pressure' that kicks about between parents on to them. Uptight parents make uptight kids ... in my humble opinion!!! (and I'm not saying you are uptight!!).

conorsrockers, about an hour ago I posted a reply to switch. Somehow, it is not here. So I wanted to say that I know one family who think that wetting bed at this age is very normal (when we said our kids do not use nappies they looked at me like I was a freak; actually I did not even understand why it sounded so abnormal to them). So, I do believe that there are parents who do not try hard to get their children out of nappies but I also know that in some cases nothing works. My older DS is one of them ( I have tried this and that to make him eat certain food but nothing helps; I am more relaxed about it now but it used to drive me crazy and other parents look in disbelief). So, I do understand your point.

Ds3 (5.6) is not yet consistently dry at night. He wears pyjama pants. It doesn't worry him so it doesn't worry me. He will be dry when he is ready. I have enough to do without lifting him at night, changing wet beds etc.

dd1 is 4.9, and probably only has a dry night nappy once a week on average.
She might have some low-grade bladder issues (needs the loo frequently by day, frequent UTIs though nil abnormal with kidneys on scan). We had run of 3 dry nappies at night a while back, and I thought we were there, but no. she's another heavy sleeper as well.

we might have a nappy-free week in the summer, when I can dry the laundry quickly. we tried it last summer to no avail, but interestingly her sheets weren't nearly as wet as I'd expected given how full her nappies always are, so maybe being nappy-free does help to a small degree.

Abcd, I do apologise if my reply sounded snappy. I think I'm a little sensitive as a couple of times I've discussed it with so called friends they offer me similar advice, 'have you tried making sure he goes for a pee before bed' for example. I'm like jings why didn't I think if that ;(

I definitely think there is a genetic aspect as some members of my family were not dry till they were nearly teenagers.

No need to apologise switch. I was too fast to post my ignorant comment. Sometimes, some people suggest me not to give my DS food for some time (1 day or more) to make my DS eat whatever is given but they just do not know this problem is something different than just being fussy. In my case I think it could be genetic too ( DH's side). But I know when other people suggest most of the time they want to help.

My grandad used to beat my uncle daily because he wet the bed but it made no difference. He wasn't dry until nearly 13. I think one of the reasons our gp referred us was because of the family history. This might sound bizarre but one of the reasons we wanted him referred was to reassure DS that he wasn't the only one who wasn't dry at night yet! We're not expecting miracles! I think kids who still wet the bed are made to feel a bit stigmatised although I dare say he isn't the only one in his class who still wets at night...

Thank you for this thread, I was hoping to find some others! DS is 4 (5 in April) and wets every night. He just does not wake up, it seems to be tough for heavy sleepers like him to night train. Oddly he did have some dry nights when we started at 3. He is not at all bothered by it, but the washing machine needs a holiday. I have tried all of the usual tips, and am about to put him back in pull ups. Encouraged that so many of the medical folk that some of you have seen are not worried. Our HV suggested medication but I am not keen yet.

It's great to hear of so many in the same situation. It really is. I've really got the confidence from this thread to let DD be for the time being. Many people inc family have suggested that she only does it because she's subconsciously aware of having a pull up to wee in, but I'm afraid I just don't believe that. I'm going to wait it out until a) she really wants to try without or b) the pulls up become dry. Thanks all for the responses.

Thanks everyone! I know it's not my DD's fault (5.5) but she's doing 2-3+ wee's during the night and the washing is driving me crazy.. I've put her back into pull ups tonight cos I was wondering if being tired isn't helping her and we've been waking her up to have a wee twice a night.

I feel bad putting her back into nappies when she's been out of them for ages, but what was initially the odd wet bed, has become several a night. I told her it's so that she can have a good sleep and we'd try again at the weekend.

Does she drink a lot during the evening? If so, maybe reduce that and let her drink extra during morning/afternoon. Also, does she go to the toilet directly before going to bed? Small children have smaller bladders. So, I would also take her to the toilet around 12.00/01.00 (you have to figure out the best time), it may need that you have to set your alarm to take her to the toilet as she is such a deep sleeper. Hopefully this helps, if not, then a matter of patience. Still worth a try though because it would be good for her confidence given that her sibling is younger and dry.

Supermarkets stock pull ups in all sizes, and a couple of different brands at least, so there must be a fair few parents needing to buy them. I think it is common but parents don't talk about it.

Did anyone else recieve an email from Drynites about pj pants. Very strange, never had anything from them before, the i post of this thread and poof, emails from them.

[puts on tin foil hat as big brother is watching]

switchtv, that's rather worrying.. I haven't. Yet. dikkertjedap - I thought that it was rather pointless to wake them at take them at 12/1 as a) that's YOU having to get up in the night (I'm try to be sparko by 10pm at the latest) and also b) it teaches them nothing if they barely come to (like my DD). Their body is STILL not waking them up for a wee, YOU are..

My DS is now 6.5 and is dry at night but only for about the last 3-4 months. Don't worry about it yet. She's only 5.5.

I didn't reduce DS's drinking, I didn't wake him to toilet him in the night however if, when I went to bed and checked on him, he was awake/came to when I kissed him goodnight, I suggested him using the toilet. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't and it had no bearing on wetting the bed later in the night. He just eventually got there as I think most children do.

My DS1 is 5 in a month or so. We're going to try to go cold turkey following his birthday, just to see if its the nappies that are 'encouraging' him to just wee. If he's awake still, he will get up and go to the toilet, but he's never done that during the night. He's always wet in the morning.

I suspect though, that he's just not ready. I wet the bed very late ( I think I was 6 or 7) although I went through quite a bit of change/trauma at that time so that may have been related.
We shall see...

It is still very common at this age IME.

DD2 is 5.3 and only just dry at night and still leaks/holds on too long/doesn't quite make it etc during the day.

She will grow out at some stage I feel. It has been the cause of a huge amount of stress to me (and therefore to her) but I have let it go as much as poss and things have improved quite a lot.

Yes Hoover stressing about it makes it worse I'm sure. I think I gave DD quite a hard time over her daytime leaking and I'm sure that prolonged the problem. Now we've all relaxed about that, that side of things does seem to be sorting itself out.