Fidgeting in 5-year-olds

[Ellbell]

OK, this is going to sound like a really stupid thing to worry about, but I just wondered if anyone on here has a 5 year old who just cannot sit still. My dd1 is 5 years 8 months and apparently 'normal' in every way, fine at school, happy, etc. BUT she seems to have ants in her pants all the time. At meal times she is constantly wriggling about on her seat. She sits with half a buttock on the seat and the rest hanging off the seat, or gets up and down (on the seat - she knows she's not allowed to leave the table), or sits sideways to the table, or whatever. 9 times out of 10 her food ends up in her lap. She's not the world's greatest eater (she eats OK now, but she's not really that interested in food) so I'd put her fidgeting at mealtimes down to that, but it seems she's the same at school. At her school one child each week gets a star for 'being good'. She has never got it (whole year in Reception and one term in Year 1) and, although she has had stars for good work a couple of times, she has really set herself this goal of getting the 'good behaviour' one. But she says to me things like 'I really try to be good, but Mrs X always says [exasperated tone] "Oh Ellbellette... just sit still", so I know I'll never get the star'. She told me today that she had been told off for fiddling with the leg of the whiteboard instead of listening to something or other (no idea what - she couldn't tell me - hadn't been listening, lol!). As far as I can tell, dd2, who's 2 years younger, doesn't seem to be like this. So I just thought I'd ask the experts... are your 5-y-olds like this? How can she learn to focus on one thing at a time (she's very creative/imaginative ... or to put it more negatively lives on planet Zog half the time) and sit still? Will she just get there in the end? Is she (to use a word that I don't really like very much!) 'normal'?

Thanks in advance

Yes - totally normal!! I have a class of them! Some children find sitting very difficult. Have you mentioned it to the teacher?If I have children who really find it tricky, I give them something to hold during the carpet session, like a soft ball or something they can squeeze or manipulate. We also go for small targets like, if you can sit for 5 minutes then you will get your star/sticker whatever, rather than having to sit for the whole 15 mins and then being beaten to the star by someone who can sit more still.

As for mealtimes - if we could get thru a meal without ds tipping it in his lap, dropping it down his front, putting his elbow in it.....no advice there but you have my sympathy!

My little boy is like this. He is in Nursery and every single day when I go and pick him up all the other children are intently listening to the story or joining in with the songs and he is usually sat on his own fidgeting away or lied out on the floor, or under a chair and totally not paying any attention whatsoever.

I guess it must be quite common as dd has finally earned her 5 little stars to choose a sticker (also in yr1) and she told me her last little star was for 'sitting sensibly'!!

So I guess there are a lot of little 5 yr olds still learning how to sit still - I would ask her teacher what she thinks. Hopefully the teacher would say something to you if she thought it was anything other than normal.

Thanks ladies. I think the reason I started to take it more seriously is because dd herself seemed quite upset about it (as in 'I try to be good, but I can't sit still'). But I'm not worried about her progress or anything, so some info must be going in despite the wriggling about. I wonder if her teacher would let me send her with some worry beads or something? I think that might work for her. She does sometimes say she's bored at school, but I don't think this is a case of her being so bright that she doesn't need to listen (she's doing well, but is not exceptional afaik). I think that it's her imagination she can't control... she switches off and goes into her own little world (peopled by unicorns, fairies, 'good vampires' (!) and imaginary friends)! Thanks anyway, and I will definitely try giving her something to fiddle with. (Thinking about it, in those situations, I bite my nails, which is a similar thing!)

Some children just need something to hold on to/fiddle with in order to help them concentrate. I've given children dice, maths cubes, blu-tak (as long as I'm sure they won't eat it!), fabric squares etc. to hold while we are working on the carpet. It might be worth trying it at home and then if it works, suggest it to her teacher.

Come to think of it, she is obsessed with blu-tak. She used to nick it from Reception and I'd find her book bag full of it!

Thanks. Am going to try that this weekend.

My DD2 is five, and I was amazed when her teacher told me she sits on the carpet really well at school, She has a great imagination, and is often away with the faries, to Last night I commented on how well she was sitting at the table, only to be told by my mum (who was next to her) that under the table her legs hadn't stopped moving, a bit like a swan swimming!

Never sits still, cant even sleep peacefully, cant sit on a carpet in school, is 'excused' from assembly some times, there are a few of them ants in the pants kids around!

Two of my three sons fidget and daydream to some degree - it has decreased as they have got older. I understand there are some advantages - I have read that fidgets don't put on excess weight.

Yes - DS (just 6) IS exactly like this. His teacher told me she give him things to fiddle with as he has noticed that it helps him concentrate. Unfortunately some teachers are still 'old school' with the 'sit still' thing...

DS1 (7) is also exactly like this, but does move around less as he's got older. He's always falling off his chair at dinner. I've got him a squidgy ball to squeeze while reading but I'm not sure it helps much.

He's much more fidgety when he eats certain foods and his teacher gave him an award for sitting still when we removed some stuff from his diet, but he is never going to be a quietly sitting kind of boy.

He is also in a world of his own much of the time.

Does your DD have to touch everything too? It's as if he always needs sensory input.

Yes! Singersgirl and Jasnem you've both hit the nail on the head. She is never still (only when asleep, and she really could sleep for England, obviously exhausted after all that fidgeting), and definitely does the swan thing under the table... legs moving even when she seems to be sitting still. Unfortunately our floor isn't very level, so the chair wobbles and she gets found out! And, now you mention it, she does like to touch things too. She's not desperately coordinated either. She's often so busy fidgeting about or thinking about some fantasy or other that she falls off things, walks into things, bumps her head on things, etc.

Thanks everyone....