4 year old starting school in September. What should we be working towards being able to do?

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

In terms of social, physical and literacy/mathematical what do you think they should be able to do?

I would say the most important aspects to focus are behaviour and social development. If he is ready to be separated from you for an entire day, is able to listen, sit still, take himself to the loo (and wipe!), get himself dressed and undressed and be relatively independent, then a lot of the work is done. I am fairly certain that most early years teachers would rather see those things firmly in place than be able to read/write/add 3 digit numbers.

If he has mastered those things, then you could make sure he can count to 20, write his own name and be starting to recognise letter sounds, but frankly those skills develop at very different rates in children.

follow instructions, concentrate for 20-30 minute bursts

get himself fully dressed and undressed including doing up shoes and coat

go to the toilet by himself

recognising his name when it is written down, including his surname

everything else is a bonus

As above plus use scissors safely !

Definitely concentrate on the stuff where he has to look after himself in terms of eating, dressing and undressing, zips, buttons etc. Plus going to the loo.

When ds1 was about to start school, a friend of mine who was a reception class teacher told me that life was much easier for everyone if children could start school being able to listen, sit still/concentrate, take themselves to the lav, share things and know how to put coats and shoes on. In other words social and practical skills appropriate for their age.

Her worst nightmare was a class full of precocious home-taught readers and mathematicians who wet themselves constantly, wouldn't listen and couldn't bear to be separated from their mummies.

DS1 did have an issue with the loo when he started. He wasn't used to going in on his own and locking the door behind him. he kept going to the loos and coming back-the teacher thought he had diarrhea. Turns out he was scared of locking himself in. Quick lesson and he was fine.

Quick question -
My dd1 also starts school in sept and can do all the above apart from put in shoes, but it's prob the type of shoes I'm buying her.

What are the most appropriate shoes for a school starter?

Only got boys so just got shoes with velcro fastenings . Plenty of time for her to be able to do the shoes by September. You could always tell when DS2 had done PE because he came out with his socks on inside out and shoes on the wrong feet.

Speaking and listening /turn taking /sitting still when appropriate./independent toileting and hand washing plus basic dressing/undressing skills are the really important "pre reception" skills .

Don't worry about "teaching" literacy/maths etc that's what school is for (that's not to say the basic stuff like reading to you child all the time, giving them 3 forks and telling them to put 1 by each place mat on the table etc aren't important, but you don't need to teach them as such)

I agree with all of the above, simple things like showing them how to see if there trousers are the right way around etc, ds is also one who comes out on PE days with inside out socks and shoes on the wrong feet despite never doing this at home.

Wrt 'school' skills he started when he was 4.1 knowing colours and counting to 10, only reconising 3 and 4 written, and 4mnths later is reading, writing and achieving in amongst the top of his class.

Focus on the social side and support them with the educational side once there.

If it's sandwiches make sure they can open their lunchbox. Sounds obvious by you would be surprised.

Just socks inside out is quite good.
Ds managed one day his socks and t-shirt inside out and his trousers and sweatshirt backward. I took a photo

My sister saw a lot of kids at the start of the school year who were sent in with yoghurts for lunch but had no idea how to open them. She says managing their own lunch, their own clothes and shoes and the loo are all they really need.

Agree with all those so far re dressing/tolieting/sharing. Also eating - carrying a tray with food on if he is having school dinners. We practised this with summer born dd after a Mumsnet tip! When he has the settling in session, check that they visit the loos and are shown how to use the locks etc. Dd was particularly excited about being able to lock the door 'because they have special little children locks mummy!'

Ok, we can do most of that list (when we want too!) but go to the toilet by himself ie, wiping his bottom is an issue. He can go for a wee etc alone but really doesn't want to have a go at wiping his bum! How would you go about teaching this?

I think you have to go with him, give him the toliet tissue and talk him through it! Perhaps your DP could help? 'All big boys together.' Anecdotally amongst friends it is mostly the boys who are basically a bit lazy about this sort of thing and just want Mum to do it for them.

These are fab ideas. I will follow them, too. We will practice zipping, buttoning and carrying trays.

Mine is quite independent as far as toilet issues are concerned, but is only willing to use (currently still Christmas-patterned) kitchen wipes to clean his bum. He does not think much of toilet paper.

The old head mistress of DCs infant school used to recommend that they could choose, eg. if they went to Debenhams or similar cafe, they could choose what to have for lunch. This can help with school lunches.

DD1 can do all of this apart from zips, and I'm not sure how confident she will be eating from a lunch box with no help!

Actually thinking of her having to cope by herself at lunch makes me . I don't want to send her. Can you tell she is my pfb?

What would you put into a lunch box of a reception child?