Anyone else's 4YO completely incapable of doing jigsaws?

[RainySmallHands]

DD1 is 4.3. She has always met her milestones at the late end of normal - sat at 8mo, never crawled, walked at 19 mo, talking was okay but never spectacular (barely draws breath now, of course). Her numbers and letters have only really clicked in the last 6 months, but she still can't recognise many double figure numbers and probably only knows half of the alphabet (mostly lower case). I was getting a bit worried about her lack of interest in drawing and colouring, but she seems to have picked this up since just before Christmas.

Anyway, all of that is probably completely irrelevant, just setting the scene...

She has oodles of games and jigsaws and we attempt them as often as I can bear , but her concentration span is atrocious. We have probably completed a game only a handful of times, and it involves much cajoling, encouraging and speedy playing. At the moment, in order to not make a huge issue about it, I tend to say 'Okay, shall we just put it away now?' and clear it all away when she starts rolling about/hiding the playing pieces/fidgeting with other toys/bothering her sister etc.

At the moment I am just assuming that she just has a very short concentration span and ZERO interest in playing games. Fair enough. Or perhaps, she'll just come on in her own sweet time, as with everything else.

But. I have to say that I am concerned about her complete inability to do jigsaws. Even sorting out straight edges seems to be a mammoth task. I can do a whole jigsaw and leave one single (obvious) piece to fit and she will still put it in upside down. Could she have some cognitive development issues? Is that even the correct term? Should I be worried about the jigsaws and attention span?

Anyone have any pearls of wisdom?

I'll be watching this with interest. I've been meaning to start a thread along the lines of "Tell me what a child sees when they're doing a jigsaw". I used to do jigsaws by sorting out the outline first and then filling in the middle bit. I have never been able to get any of my 3 dc to do this. I've finally worked out that the best way is to start with areas of colour e.g. Shall we find all of the yellow bits to make Lala (?) in a Teletubbies jigsaw. Perhaps you could try that.

Oh yes and putting in pieces very obviously wrong - mine did/do this too.

Thanks franke. Pleased to hear we're not the only ones. I do find it so frustrating though (I am generally impatient) and often have to take myself off to do some deep breathing.

'That's right, DD. Now try turning it round.' while inside I am screaming 'For God's sake, what is wrong with you?! It's bloody obvious!'. I feel wretched afterwards, even though I have only been screaming in my head. Bad Mother. Must try harder.

My dd wasn't a fan of jigsaw puzzles at that age and seemed to struggle with them. Talked like a chat show hostess though and memorised great chunks of poems, so I figures she was just spatially challenged. She's now 11, can't ride a bike or swim past the basic doggypaddling and still ain't keen on things that need a lot of spatial awareness. I wonder if that's what's at the root of it all??

I don't know about when they would be expected to do it, and my DD is still a baby, but just wanted to say that I've never done a jogsaw in my life! I think I had one little noddy one when I was a kid, and all the rest I just ignored. If people were doing one at school, I steered well clear. Can't think of anything more boring! If it makes you feel any better, I ended up an Oxbridge graduate! (rubbish swimmer and bike rider, though, in fact bad at all PE and games )

My ds (now 6) was never interested in jigsaws, nor in construction toys or indeed anything involving fine motor skills, sequencing or spatial thinking - in fact he actively avoided them. Great imagination, reading and language skills though. He is has recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia.

That's familiar flapper, we threw in the towel (ha!) with her swimming lessons after 4 lessons, as she spend most of the time weeping and clinging to her swimming teacher. And she can't ride a bike, nor a scooter.

Olivetti, that does make me feel better! I know academic qualifications aren't everything, but they just make everything so much EASIER, don't they? And as time goes by I get more sure that DD won't flourish particularly well in a traditional learning environment. But, I am only basing that on my experiences (quiet, shy, studious, not exceptionally bright I don't think, but 2 degrees), and I might (hopefully, probably) be completely wrong.

babster - same here. I also have a DS like that and he is also dyspraxic. He used to love jigsaws mind you, just as long as I did 90% of them and he got all the glory for putting the last bit in. He is 11 now and doesn't really do any sort of puzzle which requires looking for shapes.

However, I still find that my very capable DS2 who isn't dyspraxic also can't get finding the edge pieces (I think it might be an older child's strategy perhaps) nor does he always get which way to place a piece. He is 8 now and we did a jigsaw in the Christmas holidays, having not done for ages and I was surprised at his lack of ability. Maybe it is a skill that requires practice? However if your DD isn't interested, OP, she won't be concentrating and so she won't be practising either.

By the way, if your DD isn't at school yet (I'm guessing she isn't if she is only 4.3) you don't need to worry about her not knowing letters and numbers. Neither of my two wanted to learn before school so I didn't push it but they are both very good readers and DS2 is good at maths. I don't think it is a problem for your DD and I don't personally think it has anything to do with the jigsaw problem.

One thing I learnt on a parenting course - children do jigsaws from the faces out. They start by doing the big things they see in the picture and then do the connecting pieces rather than edges first. So it might be a way to look at them differently.

Fwiw DS (4.5) can't do jigsaws but can make Lego models from instructions aimed at 8-14 year olds! He just has zero interest in jigsaws whereas he loves Lego.

Ds is younger than your daughter but he always does the faces first on his jigsaws then adds the other pieces around them

My ds is 4.5 and I fecking hate the utter arses who keep buying him puzzles! Bloody 54 piece thomas one which ofc he loves but we've worked hard and he can do 10 piece ones alone now. Any larger and it ends in tears/tantrums he cannot deal with needing help to complete them it seriously dents his pride.

I hate puzzles.

My other 3 were good at puzzles from an early age, but DC4 (almost 4yo) struggles, I think he could do a 10 piece one, but wouldn't dream of giving him 20+ pieces without a lot of help. It's a bit of a family joke how bad he is at them.

He seems alright otherwise, can't read above the number 2 either.

My 6yo still isn't very good at jigsaws. She can't ride her bike yet either despite trying. Her 3yo brother is better at both. I am not worried about her though - she is good at other things. We all have strengths and weaknesses.

She sounds completely normal to me. My DD5.5 has only just started getting the hang of them. It used to drive me crazy that she would put the pieces in upside down even if the pic showed obviously which way it should go etc. We did one this morning though and she was really good at it. Perhaps something just clicks.

Maybe help her along so that she doesn't get frustrated with it being too hard.

babster, the dyspraxia thing has briefly crossed my mind. I'm not sure that DD has any other signs though so I may be over thinking it. She isn't agile in the slightest (can't hop, pedal), but nor does she seem particularly clumsy. No signs of sensory sensitivity, but does seem to have difficulty in listening to instructions, concentrating etc., but isn't that just being 4? Sorry, don't know much about it...

And, Bertha and boob, you are right. If DD has no interest at all, why on earth would she enjoy/be good at jigsaws? Part of me thinks - 'right, just leave it, they are just not her 'thing'' - whilst I have an inner voice squealing 'but how will she ever get better, if she doesn't ever do them'.

Positive that DD couldn't do a 10-piece though drippy, but hopefully, as glue suggest, maybe something might just click.

dd1 is nearly five and struggles with jigsaws
and bike riding and skipping and hopping sometimes even not falling over her own feet. because she struggles with things like that, she doesn't enjoy them, so has no motivation to practise and improve.
she's good at reading and maths and all the boring stuff though, so i assume it's a specific coordination difficulty rather than a cognitive issue

DS1 doesn't do edges, he starts with his favourite bit of the picture, often a face, and spreads out from there. I've always just let him do them his own way and not tried to teach him a method or anything.

Can you just leave her to it and see what she does?

My dd 4.2 is useless at jigsaws it like an exercise in frustration. However she got on a bike last summer and just rode it, i was [shocked].

I'm a great believer in letting them come to things in their own time. At dd nursery the mompetition over potty training was awful.

I bought a potty, left it sitting in the corner of the room, she tried it one day, and that was it. I'm probably just shite a bit lax, but i hate seeing them tortured into doing stuff that should be fun.

Oh she's a good swimmer too, i think she may be a bit thick athletic/sporty like her dad.

Dd, 6, can but won't. Ds, 3, can't but will. Dd2 is six months so can't but will... Grab all the pieces and put them in her mouth. Bless ds-he likes the action of putting the pieces together but really not bothered whether it's right or not! Makes me want to scream!

My daughter is nearly 4, and loves doing them, but we do the same two over and over again, starting with giving her lots of help, and then trying to back off, so she has basically memorised them. She doesn't understand about edge pieces at all, and will put them in upside down. She also really struggles with getting the pieces to fit together. I am dyspraxic (clumsy child in my day though!) and I have my suspicions....

I have a degree from York, but didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 19 - I can't honestly say it has affected my quality of life since I stopped having to do PE

Oh-just had a cold chill as this thread reminded me of the three jigsaw books the dc were given for Christmas. Why ruin a lovely tidy book by ramming it full of little tiny pieces?

Maybe you need to speak to my Dad about this. Despite now being 46 years he still regales people with how I was unable to do jigsaw when I was 5!!! (I went on to get a degree in applied chemistry so it is obviously not a sign of something being wrong me!!)

I distinctly remember being sat at a table with a wooden jigsaw in front of me feeling very stressed with Dad getting equally stressed because I couldn't find an edge piece and then when finally finding it not knowing (or caring to be fair!!!) where to put it. It certainly didn't fill me with a love of jigsaws. I don't really know what the problem was but I do distinctly remember not giving a t**s about what the picture was and having no interest in finding out (well to be fair I knew what the picture was because it was on the box!!!)

I think the main thing was they just didn't interest me and seemed to be more effort than they were worth!! Much preferred making pictures out of fuzzy felt!

My ds1 hates doing jigsaws. It is definitely more utter boredom at the effort than complete inability - he more or less deliberately doesn't attempt to work out where a piece might go and seems to think it would be no more boring to randomly guess than to work it out. Also, he has such a phenomenal memory that getting him to bother to work anything out is a chore: tell him something once and he will remember it forever, though, without any effort. Therefore, he can happily do a jigsaw if someone has done it for him once and doesn't see why he should have to do it himself the first time. If you absolutely force him to look at as puzzle piece and explain what he sees on it and talk about where it might go, he can give you perfectly logical answers that indicate that he would know exactly where it goes if he only asked those questions of himself, in his own head, and then got on with it. He would rather make up fantasy stories about wizards and monsters, though.

DS1 Hated Jigsaws and loathed colouring-in. When pressured by preschool to do these (it was a massive ishooo to them that he "couldn't" do jigsaws and colouring), he would just link the pieces together in chains the "wrong" way (he would do a new jigsaw once, then be bored of it. With colouring-in, he said it was stupid and boring (I happen to agree, it is the most uncreative activity I can think of), though he was happy to paint and draw and make things "freestyle". Both nursery and primary school made a big deal out of his lack of colouring-in skills and the dire effect that this would have on his education!!! If forced, he would carry the colour over the lines (a particularly heinous crime apparently),refusing to colour up to the edges of shapes, or only colour outside of the shapes. He once asked his nursery teacher why they didn't buy them ready finished instead of making the children do them!

Happy to report, his lack of ability/desire to jigsaw or colour did not affect his education - he is now an Oxbridge student.

oldmum42 - I had forgotten that, in addition to my lack of interest in jigsaws, I also loathed colouring in. Bothe activities are so boring, in my opinion! What's the point of them? You can see the picture on the box, and in my opinion (as a child), what was the point of colouring in someone else's picture when you could draw your own? zzzzzz