7yo epileptic naughty neice and Wii

[AdiVic]

Hello, this may sound like a right old whinge straight from the 1820s. I have a 7 yo neice, whose mother (my sister) has slight learning difficulties and is a single mum. Sometimes she chooses the easy life over correcting poor behavior. My niece has had some really nasty epileptic fits over the past year and is on strong medication - she has been hospitalised after each fit. She is also mucking about at night, refusing to go to bed and shouting and screaming at my sister. My problem is this; I feel that her poor behaviour has been rewarded by this Wii machine being given, (when not nagged or asked for). She is also WAY behind on her school work, and someone I know said TV/computer games of any sort are not great for epileptics as in SOME cases, they CAN trigger seizures. My daughter is only one, so I have yet to encounter the "Can I have a Wii" but if she had epilepsy, poor development at school and bad behaviour I think I would hold off. I am NOT against Wii's/playstations, but I would like to give some good solid reasons to my sister as to why perhaps this is not the best time to have one, and I have read stuff in the press about them being bad blah blah, but does anyone know of any actual evidence etc???? Thank you for any advice:) x

I don't know about the medical evidence - a doctor should advise on that, but as for the general problem, I would tread very warily here if I were you.

If a child is unsettled due to strong medication/a frightening experience, refusing all presents and treats until they get better is not necessarily the best way to get results. I can only see a treat as being bad if she gets it as a direct result of having a tantrum: i.e. mum promises her one to make her stop. In fact you say the WII was given without her nagging or asking: I'd see that as something positive. And they can actually be good for exercise and for the whole family to meet around (haven't got one ourselves but nephews do and they seem fine).

If you deal with a child who is going through a period of behavioural difficulties, the last thing you want is to make them spend a lot of time thinking about how bad they. Punishments should be quick, directly related to the offence and quickly got over- otherwise the child will start thinking there is no point in behaving as they are bad anyway.

I have a dd who has found it difficult to settle at night for nearly 15 years, for medical reasons. Imagine what a miserable time we would have had if we had refused ourselves all family treats for all that time. And imagine what her self-esteem would be like.

Hello, thank you for your advice:) She is normally quite a good girl, but already knows how to win an argument verbally with my sister. As i said, my sister has learning difficulties and does as my niece tells her. They live on the isle of wight and i live in dorset, so i cannot be on hand to help out all the time. They have a very, VERY small house so the Wii is used in very close proximity to the user (which is apparently not good for epileptics). I would say my niece walks a good couple of miles a day (at least) so does not need it for the exercise. I would also not make a child think about their bad behavior for a period of time, my only point was she is not going to bed as she wants to stay up playing on the Wii, and my sister is not dealing with the issue, and niece is winning -- this only started when the Wii came in the house.

imho this problem was bound to come up sooner or later, anyway; you just can't keep a child so away from all temptations that they are never going to challenge boundaries like bedtime

if you take the WII away there will be something else

basically your sister needs to find a way to handle this

and using the WII as a lever (no WII tomorrow if you can't behave) sounds pretty ideal- making it work for her rather than getting rid altogether

it must be very worrying for you if you think your sister's learning difficulties get in the way of effective parenting- is there any way she could access support or parenting classes?

Couple of things here. Epilepsy medication can cause behaviour problems -I know this from experience!
Also only 3% of epileptic people are photosensitive which means they react to videogames etc. I think you should offer some suport as clearly they are having a tough time

Thank you - I do support them alot, being a distance and ferry cost away is difficult and i lost a son in february which has made the past year hard, so sometimes I find them hard work if I'm being honest. I actually find my niece quite easy - she has a good sense of humour. It's my sister with LD i find hard work. Must be TERRIFYING seeing your child have a fit:( As i isad I dont' know much about Wii machines not having one myself - thank you again

In that case could your sis get some help at home? Homestart are free and provide people to come round and help/advise. Sorry for your loss OP

Don't know what medication she is on but some anti-convulsants do have adverse effect on behaviour, epilim is not great and has a lot of adverse side effects in other ways, (depression, and polycystic ovaries as well as weight gain) I know this as it has all happened to me. A lot of Drs only think about stopping the seizures and do not care about all the other side effects, I was on it for 13 years before I realised about them and found having a family difficult as a result of what this drug had done to me. When I stopped taking it, it was like waking up, I lost weight, was more alert, stopped falling asleep all the time (something that had frequently happened in classess when I was at school) not depressed anymore (didn't realise how low I was until I came off it). These are the effects I experienced and like I said, I know that it can have adverse effects on behaviour but having not been affected in that way myself couldn't say what. It may be worth her asking her Dr about trying a different drug (Lamotrigine is a good one) or even seeing a different specialist. Good luck

I would add that epilepsy can cause behaviour disturbances. Mine does. I am actually dangerous without my medication. I also had significant educational problems again epilepsy related - wasn't officially diagnosed with epilepsy until eighteen and by then much damage had been done.

I think that if she already has the Wii then it is too late to do much about it.If it appears to trigger seizures than I am sure your sister will notice and remove it.