My 5 yr granddaughter prefers adults then children

[Nanba]

My granddaughter has lived with us from 14 mths old has little contact with her mother. She is extremely close to me, now she has started school she is more attached to other mothers than her peers. After attending a party today, which I did not stay at she, pestered other mums to the point where the mums got annoyed with her, instead of enjoying the party. I encourage friends for play times but she does not really seem interested when they come round and attends ballet and swimming. I have also noticed when she goes to school disco's or other parties she does not interactive with other children at all and stands on the side alone. Help obviously I have a problem but do not know where to start to correct it.

I think this is a typical trait of 'only' children. Adults are (generally) predictable and fair, so 'only' children tend to prefer their company, ime - no squabbles, insults, arguing, not sharing, inability to compromise, etc. Those are all things she'd experience with a sibling(s).

Keep inviting friends over for her to play with. She needs to learn how to interact with children her own age, and how to navigate relationships with her peers.

Are there any cousins in the area she can practice her social skills with? It may be the closest thing she'll have to siblings...

Thanks for your reply, yes a boy and they r the same age and play well together and very close but now do not c much of each other due to location and going school. She has attended full time nursery from 14 mths old because I worked until she went to school, I no longer work and do encourage other children because of the only child syndrome.

My DS was like that, he would always talk to the mums and not the children. He has siblings, but they are adults.

I think as Earlybird said he thought children were a pain. When he started school he didn't have any friends. Thought that other children behaved very strangely.

I am pleased to say that as the other children got older he mixed more with them, and now at age 11 he has no problems integrating.

My DS got a lot of encouragement at school, and was put into groups or pairs for a lot of projects to force his interaction. So maybe talk to her school and see if they can help.

A completely ill-informed and not very helpful thought, but - I wonder if she was so taken by the other mothers because she doesn't see much of her own mother? Even though you are being a mother to her, she is possibly of an age now where she realises other children live with their mothers? I have seen children who don't have much contact with their dads cling to their friends' dads.

I'd say this is typical of shy children rather than only children. I was one of 4 but still very much like this. Just shyness. I grew out of it.

I was like this as a child, though I did have one best friend. I just wasn't interested in playing with other children. But by the time I started secondary school I had lots of friends and I was a very sociable and popular teenager.

Same as hardboiled here. I wouldn't worry.

Thanks for all your replies and have taken all your comments on board and hopefully it is a stage she is going through and with gentle encouragement she will be able to interact with other children as time goes by.

I'm an only child and was just the same. No advice I'm afraid but just keep letting her meet people of all ages and GL you sound to be doing a good job!

My friends DD is like this, even at 7 she far prefers the company of adults. She is very attached to her teachers as well. She is popular at school with the other children, but given the choice she would prefer to be with adults. I am going around there tonight and she asked her Mum if she could stay home instead of going to her friends for tea and a DVD. It's just how she is. Her Mum said 'No' because she's already told her friend she will go, so she's going happily enough, but would rather not. (She has both her parents, isn't shy & has siblings ). Please try not to worry about it, some kids are just like that, though it does no harm to encourage friendships with other children.

do all ony children prefer adults to children? Early bird, your post reads as if only children are missing out by not having siblings, but surely it depends on the child and social circumstances rather than that they are a only.
I have a child and she might end up being an only but I would hate to think that she will grow up preffering company of adults!

I think perhaps it is related to the circumstances regarding her mother, Nanba, have you talked to her regarding her thoughts and feelings about what happened ith her mum? Although you are like her mother now , perhaps she feels slightly different because she knows she has another mother

My only is definitely not like this don't worry Paranoid - however (just to throw in some more sweeping gerneralisations into this thread) my neighbours youngest is like this due to her stay at home mum always being with her

HI Red, I'm glad your only is not like this, I cant imagine my DD being like this because at 6 months she is already quite sociable and loves little babies!
OMG, that is a sweeping generalisation about your neighbour! Are you sure theres not some other reason eg temperament and behaviour of mum and daughter? Perhaps their lifestyle. I'm a stay at home mum and plan to be till DD goes to school, but we are having a wonderful sociable time with other parents and babies.

I wasn't serious Paranoid about my neighbour! I just said it to add to the sweeping generalisation that this is a typical trait of only children said up thread!

My ds is similar. Age 5 and an only. I do my best with other kids but tbh he is slow to warm up to them. He now has a few strong friendships and I worry about them growing away from him, but then I have to worry about something ... Other adults comment on how confident he is ... But its only with adults. But the amazing thing is the number of adults who've thought for a moment and then said that their ds/ eldest/ youngest/ whatever was the same. Its more common than you think and after all, once they hit 16 they don't need to deal with kids any more ... You're a third of the way there! Good luck. You are doing the right things but you can't do it for them

Dd1 was an still is like this. She has high functioning autism an finds kids a pain and hard to understand. Not suggesting your gd is, but still like to mention it. She loves playing with her cousins and isn't an only child.