Please Advice... My DS behaviour

[LuckyMother]

My DS is 7 now and is very sensitive. He also is very well behaved normally. but for the 3-4 months, I am noticing as well as getting concerns from his class teacher that he is losing his attention and just doesn't want to concentrate in class and also distract others. Whenever I say anything to him, he quietly listens to me and also shows that he is bothered about it, sometimes he cries saying that "mum, I don't know how it happened. I did not hear what teacher said and when." but again the same thing happens, he just keeps on behaving in the same way.
Another thing that is bothering me a lot is that he has only one friend in school for the last three years. today, his mum came to me and said that because your DS wants to play with my DS all the time, so my DS does not have any friends. when I tell my DS to ignore him for some time he just starts crying and says that he does not want to go to school any more then. This is really bothering me. I am just blank and don't know what to do. please advice....

Lucky

No advice but bumping for you and hope someone can help. MN is great like that.

I think you and the other mum should try not to interfere in your sons' friendship at school (unless it's a bullying situation of course). I believe it's up to the two of them to sort out whether they want to be friends or not and what other friends they want to have. In fact I think this is a really important aspect of going to school - not just the academic side, but learning how to socialise and interact appropriately with other children. If the other mum approaches you again, you could politely say that. Telling a 7 yo "you can't play with your best friend" is a pity and I'm not surprised it makes him feel sad!

However, you could make an effort to encourage him to make other friends. How about inviting one or two of the other boys in the class over for a play date? Or your DS could do an after school activity that some of the others in his class do (football, beavers etc) - that might help him start to develop other friendships?

Not sure about the lack of attention thing - from your post it doesn't sound too serious to me, just normal 7yo stuff like not paying attention, but do you think it's a bit more than that?

Oh poor you, its so hard isn't it.

Please feel free to ignore but this is what I would do

First, eliminate any potential physical problems. Go to doctors and get hearing test. Ask doctor if there could be anything else? Blood test? Does he wheez? Could it be asthma? My friends son has been a bit lacklustre and weak - turns out he's got mild asthma. Is he staying up late without you knowing. We discovered my son was playing his DS, hiding it under his bed? Or maybe your son is just struggling to sleep? Good diet?

So maybe you've done the above?

Then I would tackle the school environment? What's he like at home? Could he have some sensory processing difficulties? Is there a clique in the class? I would also be keen to encourage him to join an outside school activity - to boost confidence and friendships.

Could he be struggling at school - or finding it too easy?

Thank a lot for your advice. I think I would make an appointment for hearing test. I tried to encourage him to make new friends and also spoke to his teacher. I think its a good idea to have a play date and invite some of his classmates over.
Actually he has no brother or sister or any of his at all just couple of family friends who he gets to see may be every 6-7 weeks. The only time he gets in touch with children is in school or couple of clubs outside school. Can this be one of the reason?